continuing my two month plan

[saku]

i'm sorry to keep making new posts about this but today was the last time i will see the girl that runs the bible study at school. last week i was really upset and made the mistake of revelaing my two month suicide plan (not the whole thing) she wanted to help me as much as she could but today i told her to forget about me and to forget what i said. i really wanted to tell her more...i wanted to tell her why i no longer wanted to seek counseling and at the core of why i feel hopeless is because important things in my life no longer matter. should i try to call her and tell her or would this be a waste of her time....a further waste mind you.

[sadCara]

Talking about your feelings to someone who is willing to listen is never a waste of time. Talk to her or someone else, just try not to keep your feelings bottled up.

I do that alot and it's not good for you.

 

Pm me if you want to talk. I am willing to listen.

[RayKay]

Talking to someone who might help you through a struggle is never a waste of time.

 

Trust me, we all struggle with major things in our lives, some of us are able to move past it easier than others, or at least not allow it to bring us down. Whatever seems insurmountable now will be only a memory later down the road....don't allow your struggles to bring you down anymore or to bring an end to your life. Life is precious....there have been many things I have gone through in my life that would cause some to want to give up but I did not, and wow, I am amazed at how wonderful life is now.

 

Please call that girl that seems to have touched you in some way, and if you are able to talk to her please do. And if not her, someone else. Life is about so much more then struggle, but you need to see how to move past it to better things.

[saku]

i talked to her..but i held back. the only reason why i wanted to talk to her agin was to let her know that i was very sorry for telling her about my feelings about ending my life and that i now wanted her to completely forget what i said only because i no longer want to waste her time. then i had planned on hanging up only i couldn't. i'm scared because i don't want her to hate me, but i can't just act like everything is all right either. i just want her to help other people who are more deserving of it. i want to sever ties with as many people as possible and if i go through with suicide, i will make sure to do so far away from everyone and make sure my family never finds out about it. sorry, i'm a bit anxious so i apologize if my words sound too spastic and meaningless right now.

[CrystalDawn]

It's okay and it's understandable. This girl sounds like the type that could really help you and you deserve the help. Don't worry about wasting her time. If it helps you than that's great. She will understand only if you talk to her and tell her your true feelings. Right now you need friends so keep talking to the one's you have been talking to. I know it's hard. You don't have to act like everything's okay when it's not. Let people know your pain for many can and will help you.