Premature break up?

[mannett]

My ex-boyfriend and I are both 21 and have been together for 3 years. Recently I had been asking him if he saw a future with me, because I wondered if he did and he used to talk about our future often. We are both in college and he is a finance major and I am a nursing major. He is from Haiti and wants to move back there around the age of 30. We just broke up because he says he doesn't see a future with me. He knows that I will not move to Haiti with him whenever he decides to go back. He said everything else is perfect with our relationship, and I agree. He thinks that we don't have to end things now, but I disagreed. How can I stay with someone I have no future with? I really love him though; we had never had real issues before this. He's faithful and hard working and he always made it obvious that he loves and cares about me. Was I wrong in ending things now? I was hurt by his words, but I knew he was telling the truth; I don't want to move to Haiti 9-10 years from now. What would a Nurse Anesthetist (my future career) do in Haiti? The only thing stopping us from being together is him moving away in 9-10 years. Is our break up premature? Was I right to cut ties with him immediately after? This is my first serious break up, he was my first real/serious relationship. I feel lost without him.

[Honeycomb8]

You did the right thing. If you stayed with him, you would have wasted your time on something that will never amount to anything. Lots of women stay hoping things will change but the end result is them wasting their youth or best years on someone when they could have moved on to someone more suited to them.

[bluecastle]

Your gut said it was time, and our guts tend to be right. The truth is that neither of you know where you'll be 9-10 years from now—that's the beauty of life—but what's important is that at present you feel good and solid and today your individual visions of the future made that impossible. It's crushing, I know, and I'm sorry for your pain. Love is supposed to be everything, and in some ways it is, but it's only one of many ingredients needed for a healthy, sustainable relationship. Savor what you had as you mourn it and focus on your path. Best of luck.

[Wiseman2]

If you want to hang out with him for now and enjoy it that's great but you both know there's no future due to your differing circumstances, goals and values. Very often high school and college romances are important but people grow apart afterwards for the reasons you mention.

My ex-boyfriend and I are both 21 and have been together for 3 years. We are both in college.He is from Haiti and wants to move back there. We just broke up because he says he doesn't see a future with me. He knows that I will not move to Haiti with him