archimage Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 I'm friends with my boyfriend's friends (2-3 of them, mainly). I know them pretty well, but I guess my boyfriend knows them better than I do. I started dating my boyfriend about 2 months ago. We like to keep in touch with everyone so we invite them to the movies with us. Usually we'd invite another couple whom my boyfriend's friends know very well too. My boyfriend's friends usually end up flaking in the last minute. We had these kinds of events before we even started dating and only one or two would flake occasionally. It's just that ever since we got to together, I feel like they don't want to be around us anymore. We're not into PDA unless it's just us two on a date. Actually, they haven't really seen us together as a couple yet in real life. What could be the issue here? Do they think that they're going to be 3rd/5th wheeling? how do I assure them that we just want to hang out as friends? It's funny to hear people complain about their friends going off the radar as soon as they get into a relationship, but in this case, it really feels like the opposite. Link to comment
glitterfingers Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 I'm a bit confused. Is it your couple friends or your single friends that are flaking? You've only been dating 2 months, so it could be that they are just going through a particularly busy/difficult time in their life. Or, maybe one of them had an attraction for either of you and was disappointed to learn that you entered into a relationship together I really have no idea, but I'm more inclined to say that they are just prioritising other things ahead of you. Keep in mind that they have a lot going on in their life that you may not be very conscious of, and it's very unlikely their behaviour has anything to do with you Link to comment
archimage Posted April 7, 2018 Author Share Posted April 7, 2018 I'm a bit confused. Is it your couple friends or your single friends that are flaking? You've only been dating 2 months, so it could be that they are just going through a particularly busy/difficult time in their life. Or, maybe one of them had an attraction for either of you and was disappointed to learn that you entered into a relationship together I really have no idea, but I'm more inclined to say that they are just prioritising other things ahead of you. Keep in mind that they have a lot going on in their life that you may not be very conscious of, and it's very unlikely their behaviour has anything to do with you Oh yes, so the couple friends that we invite are always able to make it. The single friends somehow end up flaking. :( But you're right. I might give it some more time. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 Are these friends guys? Sometimes they prefer the bros dynamic...the no girls allowed attitude. Don't take it personally, they will come around, maybe when they find a partner. Link to comment
archimage Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 Are these friends guys? Sometimes they prefer the bros dynamic...the no girls allowed attitude. Don't take it personally, they will come around, maybe when they find a partner. Yep, they're guys. I think you're spot on. They don't really have any other female friends that I know of either. Thanks!!! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 Who wants to go to the movies with a friend and their boyfriend/girlfriend or two couples? They will be all lovey dovey and then there is you... I mean, that's the classic American date -- dinner and a movie - not a friend hangout unless you are a teenager. Link to comment
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