Text and move on

[SweetGirl28]

Yes, I'm not expecting to hear from mine while she is with the new fellow anytime soon. I googled this myself and saw some references that in this (short? overlap, and applies to longer lasting rebounds) situation it takes 6-8 months for the lady dumpers, distracted by their new honeymoon, to actually start processing the fact you have learned to get on with your life without them in it and moved on. Obviously this is where you are sticking to the NC. And if they do, its just curiosity, probably. I wonder if there are any lady-dumpers here with personal experience of this?

 

Getting back to UN90's question, I suggest don't do it. He might just look at it, and know you haven't actually moved on yet, so throwing you some crumbs will keep you interested in case he wants you back at some point.

 

Interesting. Makes sense. We would wait for the honeymoon period to fade lol.

 

I always was the dumper except this last time. But even with that I tried dumping him but he said don't give up just so he could dump me lol.

 

I never reached out to anyone I dumped but I guess because they never really went away lol. They always made contact quickly and stayed around but eventually faded off into the sunset. Except my first love, he's still my very good friend.

Only when I got dumped did I try, but that was initially, I didn't wait months. Then I went away for good about 5 weeks later after the breakup because he was an ass to me. But we talk now but that needs to be shut down too.

 

It's not really worth contact, you know. Leave the ex as a memory and wish them well(or not). It's normal to wonder but contact can make a real mess of your thoughts again, especially if you're near healed or you've healed. We are human. We can still get hurt. I was a little hurt yesterday but my IDGAF attitude returned. That's the good part about being healed,you bounce back faster. I know it must hurt you to not here from her but you're better off, honestly.

[SweetGirl28]

That's everyone for your opinions. I decided that he is really not worth it. I made up my mind that I am not going to text him anything . I am not going to leave things as is and not even wish anything good for him. When he realise what he lost he will live with that regret because I will never take him back.

 

 

Good decision :)

I wish you all the best in your recovery from this. Be strong. Love yourself. You'll be okay..

[catfeeder]

I decided to go NC to find back myself because I lost myself in the relationship trying to make him happy and looking for constant validation. Dont know what his decision is.

 

Well, sending such a text is just another means of trying to seek validation. I'd skip that. It won't buy you anything you don't already have.

[RayRay63]

 

It's not really worth contact, you know. Leave the ex as a memory and wish them well(or not). It's normal to wonder but contact can make a real mess of your thoughts again, especially if you're near healed or you've healed. We are human. We can still get hurt. I was a little hurt yesterday but my IDGAF attitude returned. That's the good part about being healed,you bounce back faster. I know it must hurt you to not here from her but you're better off, honestly.

 

Indeed. Resist the urge to contact, even if the universe dumps more crap on you as you go.

 

It is for the best in the end.

[Lauren0020]

45 days of NC is good! Keep going! Hopefully you dont feel the same when you all first separated and has atleast gotten over him some if not alot.

 

Don't send the text, you're doing good so far! Keep it going you're on the right path!

[katrina1980]

Hey guys. Thanks for your replies. Because the breakup is still fresh I still have a little hope that maybe he would see what he let go off. He has a big ego and I know after breaking off our engagement, he does not have the guts to reach out to me.

 

____

 

Depending on how I feel at 45 days NC, I wanted to send him the text letting him know that I am not an option in d future and that I have moved on so he would know not to come around me with any BS when he realise the mistake he made later on.

 

^^Your silence will say *way* more than any words could.

 

The fact you feel inclined to send it at all will send him the opposite message -- that you have NOT moved on. Obviously!

 

He will see it as a bid for a reaction and his attention. Which, in my opinion it is even if you don't think so.

 

If it weren't why bother sending it?

 

Your silence is much more powerful and will send a much stronger message.

 

That you're DONE.