Texting?

[Batya33]

Typically I read over an over again how women get attached early on through typing and talking and forget that a first meet or the first actual dates are just that and that getting to know a person in person and over a period of time is optimal. I read and hear constantly ”but we texted every day for hours for a month before meeting and now after our first meet I haven’t heard from him. As if it’s a surprise when after the first time meeting someone there is no second date - but for many people they misinterpret the typing as actually getting to know each other in a relevant way for a potentially romantic relationship. I’ve also seen it hamper in person communication because then there is body language and vibes and energy you cannot have when texting. I think in person conversational skills and communication and clicking in person is essential and in my experience too much texting can hamper that. Glad it didn’t for you. . My husband and I emailed some but we never texted. I didn’t own a cell phone until after we married and he didn’t have real texting capability until a few years ago. We didn’t get smartphones until a few years ago.

[katrina1980]

 

I read and hear constantly ”but we texted every day for hours for a month before meeting and now after our first meet I haven’t heard from him. As if it’s a surprise when after the first time meeting someone there is no second date - but for many people they misinterpret the typing as actually getting to know each other in a relevant way for a potentially romantic relationship. I’ve also seen it hamper in person communication because then there is body language and vibes and energy you cannot have when texting. I think in person conversational skills and communication and clicking in person is essential and in my experience too much texting can hamper that. Glad it didn’t for you. . My husband and I emailed some but we never texted. I didn’t own a cell phone until after we married and he didn’t have real texting capability until a few years ago. We didn’t get smartphones until a few years ago.

 

Well that goes back to what I said before, if texting is "all" they're doing for a month, two months or however long, prior to meeting, then yes I agree!

 

I think when OLDing it's best to meet ASAP to avoid that, mix it up. In person time combined with some texting time in between.

 

If I met a man on line and he were local, I would never wait a month (or longer) to meet, that's just nuts and yes does lead to exactly what you posted above in many cases.

[Batya33]

Well that goes back to what I said before, if texting is "all" they're doing for a month, two months or however long, prior to meeting, then yes I agree!

 

I think when OLDing it's best to meet ASAP to avoid that, mix it up. In person time combined with some texting time in between.

 

If I met a man on line and he were local, I would never wait a month (or longer) to meet, that's just nuts and yes does lead to exactly what you posted above in many cases.

 

Yes - and then after once you've dated a number of times then sure texting can be part of it -then it has more of a context -you know the person in person. I never met anyone in person without at least a 20 minute phone call before meeting -there were many times he typed beautiful, articulate emails and on the phone I realized a variety of dealbreakers often based on voice tone, what he asked me during a phone conversation (or what he didn't ask/follow up on), his phone manners, etc. Also it helped a lot with safety-related screening that e-mail never could accomplish.

[JCSK]

Then he will say why? And I'll look like a crazy. I rather not respond and make him wonder

 

I just wrote a response which was a bit strong but I'm editing it to just say this. He is shy, people are different, regardless of age. I don't think it's fair to not respond to keep him wondering. I wouldn't feel comfortable chatting on the phone until after a few more dates. He's just staying in his comfort zone until he's ready. There's nothing wrong with that. If you are more confident, you call him and arrange a date. If you like him it would be a shame not to see where this could lead just because you like calling and he doesn't.