New Girl in my Life - Part 2

[BCBoy81]

If you followed the story here: link removed

 

Then you may know what I'm up to.

 

Part 2 - Date 3:

 

I'll try to sum it up. She wasn't impressed with Date 3. She seemed really hesitant to allow me over when I phoned. But a little persistance and she said "yeah sure". I took her some inexpensive Safeway roses (pink, her fave color) which she liked and instantly put in water. (Funny, I don't recall hearing a "thank you" ) Regardless, we watched the movie, went for a quick walk and around 11:30 I decided it was time to go, so I she walked me to the door and I leaned in for a goodnight kiss and WHOA! Major rejection.

 

I kinda wanted to know what was up so we sat down and talked about it. For the next HOUR she wouldn't even look at me. She told me that she's not judgemental, but all her previous bf's were mechanics and that they all treated her badly and/or simply for sex. She'd also told me a few things I'd said the last two nights had freaked her out, and a person that I used to work with (who hardly knows me for that matter) told her things - nothing specific - how I talk about sex. I also told her the only reason I made a move was because of all the signals she'd been giving me, to which she replied she hadn't noticed herself doing any of this and replied with she "always" acts like that.

 

 

 

Regardless, after quite some talking she also told me how she doesn't like the fact that I'm incredibly aloof and haven't shown her the "real me" and that she can't become attracted to anybody who doesn't "keep it real".

I told her if I opened up and told her about my past, I'd scare the hell out of her and that she'd never want to speak to me again. Once again, she told me she's not judgemental. SOO, I did just that, I opened the flood gates and told her about the ongoing feuds in my family, the incessant alcoholism, my father's suicide and the tragic death of my first girlfriend.

 

None of this seemed to phase her, even after I had broken down crying.

 

Afterwards, she cuddled and told me that she felt closer to me after opening up. She also told me that we should take it slow, and remain friends. (GAWD I hate when women say that) But she did also say I had much potential and that we should just play it out.

 

It was roughly 2 am and she told me she didn't want me driving home so late and we spent the night together in the same bed. Yet another weird signal.

 

The next morning, we cuddled a little bit and I had to book it to work. She told me she'd be back home (another town) the next few days and I should call her and she gave me her number at home.

 

I know it's only sunday, but she didn't phone last night and I highly doubt she will tonight either.

 

Should I write this one off or persue it? I really don't have the energy to bother anymore.

[Shidoshi]

Move on my friend, this is much more trouble than it's worth. You're playing right into her little game.

[DN]

She says she's not judgmental and then gets judgmental about mechanics. Does she think that between teaching you how to repair transmissions and how to do a brake job there is a lesson about appropriate sexual behaviour for mechanics? With a written test?

 

Then she gets judgmental based on the opinion of a third party - what's that about?

 

She seems to want to know a lot about your deeper feelings and experiences when this is only the third date. How honest and open has she been about her past, family etc. with you? (Other than being flirty with everybody and giving mixed signals) There's something about this lady that seems a bit superior - unless there's something missing from your post.

 

Bottom line is: What do you want from her and is it worth the trouble to try to get it? That is a decision only you can make.

[BCBoy81]

Well, she is a rather intelligent girl and she has told me a little bit about her past but hasn't gone into quite as much detail as I have. She has said she'd like to get to know me better before going too far as she claims she's been hurt pretty bad before. I thought I'd better make a move because I've lost girls before by hesitating! So I figured with the signals I was getting, that I should make a move. I dunno, the whole deal about staying the night because she didn't want me driving home seems that she cares about me as I told her I hit a deer in my car going home from work late one night. The whole comment about me having potential makes me kinda curious. She asked me if I liked hiking and I should call her this week and we could go hiking. She did say she'd rather have a friend more than a boyfriend right now. That kinda sucks. Like I said, very mixed signals.... and keep in mind, she's 18.

[bexcelant]

Ok, dude

 

What I see here is that she didn't have extremely high interest. She sorta made up that stuff about not knowing you and all. In the back of her head right now she's going OMG That's a lot of stuff!!!! TMI Too Much Information. What you have to do now, if you even have a chance is to let her digest the information and play it as friends for now. This will take awhile or unfortunately, you may have scared her away with a full admission.

 

Imagine telling a girl telling you that she used to sell crack and served 5 years in the Federal Prison. Would you still be thinking of going out with her? Now if she didn't tell you that and you got emotionally involved first, would you stay with her then?