Negative feelings, bad memories?

[lbax0]

Why is it that some people only remember the bad things of a relationship and some people remember the good? Will the person who remembers the bad eventually remember the good?

 

How to change someone’s perception of you when they won’t talk to you?

[Wiseman2]

Why did you break up? You don't bother to change perceptions after breaking up. He formed his opinion the 10 mos you were together. You delete and block him and all his people including new gf from all your social media and stay strict no contact. You worry about your impression on others moving forward such as getting a nice profile and some good pics up on some dating apps. You retool your social media to reflect a happy interesting person and only care about what people who matter think, such as friends, family, etc.

How to change someone’s perception of you when they won’t talk to you?

[DanZee]

You just have to move on. Learn from your mistakes from your last relationship and don't do them in your next relationship. In the meantime, stay NC. Leave your ex alone. Work on healing and controlling your anger.

[lbax0]

I want him back. We had some rough patches here and there but overall we were really happy together. He seems to think of me badly now that I hurt him.

[lbax0]

I don’t have anger issues with anyone else. I just want to show him things can be different.

[Wiseman2]

Let it go. It's not a one-way decision. 10 mos people find out about each other and his perception is it wasn't working, regardless of your perception.

I want him back.He seems to think of me badly now that I hurt him.

[boltnrun]

That's how it happens.

 

He remembers you yelling and screaming at him, breaking up and blocking him and then having to find other means to contact you to beg you back, and him trying to get back together and you not only refusing several times but also dating another guy the day after you broke up.

 

You wanting him back and promising to "change" only after he started dating someone else didn't help the situation.

 

Those are the things that formed his impression of you. You can't go back in time and undo all those things.

 

And remember...you broke up with him. It shouldn't be surprising that he thought you meant it.

 

Like I said in your thread from yesterday, these are good lessons to learn. You can take them into your next relationship and hopefully have a more successful one.

[wgmitch]

"Why is it that some people only remember the bad things of a relationship and some people remember the good?"

 

I think no contact gives both parties time to start thinking differently about the relationship. Some may at first dwell on the bad, but eventually "may" start to put the bad aside and start thinking of the good. Hard to say exactly and it depends on how good or bad the relationship was and/or how bad the break up was.

 

"Will the person who remembers the bad eventually remember the good?"

 

Again, with no contact that is a distinct possibility. But getting back together is always a risky proposition. Will you just be waiting for the hammer to drop again? Yes!

 

"How to change someone’s perception of you when they won’t talk to you?"

 

I would say work on yourself, go no contact and leave them alone. But do not better yourself for them, do it for you and your next relationship. If they are soured on you then it may be impossible to do it with words. Go no contact it's your best and only option.

[MissCanuck]

Why is it that some people only remember the bad things of a relationship and some people remember the good? Will the person who remembers the bad eventually remember the good?

 

How to change someone’s perception of you when they won’t talk to you?

 

One of my exes and I broke up on bad terms. I certainly remembered the good, but it wasn't enough to outweigh the bad. I was tired of the bad and couldn't find it in me to want to work on it anymore. So while we had our good times, I wasn't about to go back to a relationship that wasn't working.

 

You can't change someone's perception if they won't talk to you.