Nano Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 This will be kind of long and complicated so please forgive me. I’ve been dating my now ex bf for 7 months. It was a LDR so we didn’t meet that often but we spent so many hours on the phone. He’d always call during very long road trips, shopping, cooking etc. We were so close to each other and had a strong friendship. We went on a vacation together and it was so wonderful. He was so emotional and sweet and gets teary eyed whenever he’d talk to me about his feelings, always kissing my forehead and my hands... hold me while sleeping, carrying me while I was asleep to the bathroom so I can brush my teeth. Washing, brushing and braiding my hair. We just had a connection that I believed was so strong. If I got up to use the bathroom midsleep he’d wake up and pull me to him and kiss me, he was barely even awake. One day during our vacation I told him I loved him after a few drinks and he panicked, he didn’t see it coming. He said he wasn’t there yet which shocked me cause I was SURE he loved me too, and I’m never one of those people who would convince herself that a guy loves her, I had to really feel it. That’s when he said something that broke my heart. He said since our sex got rough (due to his own wishes) he had to numb his feelings for me to do it. That it was too much for him. He said he only felt that emotional to me when we kissed, like he was pouring his soul into me. I was still kinda drunk and hurt and I got mad. I felt betrayed. Rough sex was his idea and now I was being rejected because I gave him what he wanted. I cried and he cried and asked if he can just hold me. He said maybe on another level I do love you.. then hours later said I do love you, just not enough. Enough to get through complications with a LDR and it’s risks. He couldnt stop crying and asked if we can watch tv in bed together one last night. Shortly after he started kissing me and said I want to make it right.. as in to finally make love to me. No rough sex. He said he thought he wanted to be rough with me but he couldn’t and needed to have that emotional sex. We did it and it was so wonderful. I’ve never experienced anything like it. He said it finally felt right once we made love. We both went home the next day and parted ways and we both were bawling our eyes out. I deleted him off everything, but he knew I would. I even changed my phone number. 4 weeks later I emailed him and we emailed a bit back and forth and he seemed so happy to hear from me and was flirting too but I made it seem that I’ve moved on and dating again. A few weeks later I texted him and he asked if we can talk on the phone. We randomly texted back and forth for like 3 weeks and he’d ask to call me once a week. During one of the calls he said he hooked up with a girl drunk at a party and now they’re casually dating. I was gutted. I immediately cried. I felt replaced so fast. It was barely 6 weeks later. He wasn’t even the hookup kind. I asked him is this over for you!? It’s not over for me. And he said “every time I hear your voice I think not really... but then I remember how much I hurt you. I’ve thought about getting back together for so long after returning home, it wasn’t easy for me, I cried once I landed and saw you deleted me.” We left it at that and a week later I called him again and we talked for 4 hours. He was flirting really badly and sexually and asking if he should come visit me, but I don’t know how serious he was cause then he kept talking about that new girl and described the sex they’re having together which really hurt me. After that I was so hurt I stopped getting in touch. That girl is my complete opposite too which made me even more heartbroken. That was 3 weeks ago and I saw that they went skiing this week when I was on Instagram. I deleted it immediately after that. I’m confused on so many levels... he seemed like he loved me, and seemed like he was also thinking about getting back together, and I thought he’s just rebounding since when he asked to visit me while he has been dating her for a few weeks already. I feel so replaced and my heart is hurting so badly. I feel betrayed and confused. What the hell happened!? Can anyone make sense of it? I still can’t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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