It's all falling apart

[DIYQueen]

My life was really looking up over the past eight or nine months. I changed my major, I met my SO, I started a new job, and my grades went up. I felt like I was more involved with school and friends than ever before. It was awesome.

 

Before things started to improve, something really upsetting happened. I was sexually assaulted by someone who I considered to be a friend. I went down the right avenues with the police and with the university. I stopped hearing updates on the investigation, so I figured it was on the back burner. I just moved on with my life. On Thursday, I finally heard the conclusion of the investigation. The guy who did this is going to be suspended from the university for two years. I also received the reports from both sides of the story. It made me sick to my stomach to read his side. I then received notification that he is planning on appealing the school's decision. He is adamant that he did not do anything wrong.

 

I can't shake the "fight or flight" response that my body is giving. I can't function the way I was. I ended up ditching class today because I broke down as soon as I got in my car. I'm scared that if this guy thinks of me as a tease and a liar who would make a false accusation, who else does? I'm going to have to attend a hearing to give my statement, but I'm so afraid that nobody is going to believe me. I'm also scared that my current anxiety and depression is going go scare my boyfriend away. Ive struggled with depression and anxiety for years, but it started getting worse again shortly before I received all this news. I'm so scared that he's going to get tired of it. That everybody around me is going to get tired of it.

 

Everything was going so well. I was so happy with my SO, my work in school, my job, and my life. Now I feel like I'm going to lose it all.

[shessofly]

Are you under the care of a professional for anxiety/depression? Perhaps your school has counseling services for students? I won't pretend to know what it's like to be in your shoes, but perhaps focusing on all the positives more so than the negatives and what-ifs would be beneficial? Maybe a therapist could help you manage the anxiety better, by providing some coping mechanisms. You might contact someone in administration to alert them to the effect this is having on you as well. Sorry I cannot be of more help.

[maew]

My life was really looking up over the past eight or nine months. I changed my major, I met my SO, I started a new job, and my grades went up. I felt like I was more involved with school and friends than ever before. It was awesome.

 

Before things started to improve, something really upsetting happened. I was sexually assaulted by someone who I considered to be a friend. I went down the right avenues with the police and with the university. I stopped hearing updates on the investigation, so I figured it was on the back burner. I just moved on with my life. On Thursday, I finally heard the conclusion of the investigation. The guy who did this is going to be suspended from the university for two years. I also received the reports from both sides of the story. It made me sick to my stomach to read his side. I then received notification that he is planning on appealing the school's decision. He is adamant that he did not do anything wrong.

 

I can't shake the "fight or flight" response that my body is giving. I can't function the way I was. I ended up ditching class today because I broke down as soon as I got in my car. I'm scared that if this guy thinks of me as a tease and a liar who would make a false accusation, who else does? I'm going to have to attend a hearing to give my statement, but I'm so afraid that nobody is going to believe me. I'm also scared that my current anxiety and depression is going go scare my boyfriend away. Ive struggled with depression and anxiety for years, but it started getting worse again shortly before I received all this news. I'm so scared that he's going to get tired of it. That everybody around me is going to get tired of it.

 

Everything was going so well. I was so happy with my SO, my work in school, my job, and my life. Now I feel like I'm going to lose it all.

 

Oh my goodness.... thank you for posting on here so honestly. What happened to you was horrendous, invasive, I think it's one of the most traumatic things that can happen to anyone. Don't minimize the impact this had on your life... sounds like you are definitely dealing with PTSD.

 

And please know, you haven't lost anything yet... you are still alive, and fighting back, and trying to stand up for yourself. All of the feelings you are having are completely normal! I was assaulted when I was young (12) and again at 16, then again when I was 19. The PTSD of these things can last for a long time, so it's important to seek outside help and support for the feelings around this as much as possible so you can live the life you want. And hopefully those around you can support you in doing this work. I still flinch once in awhile when people touch my back or my neck and I am not expecting it. Years ago I used to scream whenever someone came into my bedroom while I was sleeping. Through hard work, processing of my feelings, and a good support system, I have come a long way, and so will you.

[Hollyj]

Did you report this to the police, or the campus police? The schools will try to hide these incidents for their record of safety.

 

I am so sorry that you are going through such a traumatic experience. Are you seeking counting?