jakeatl Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Basically, I like this girl in my University and she's studying a different course. She's studying a creative subject just like me, and is based in a room in the same building as me. The only time I get to see her is sometimes at lunch when she's with her friends. I like what I see and I can't stop looking at her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same. But here's the thing: We haven't talked yet. We exchange looks sometimes, and I can almost tell that she finds me attractive, and may even have a little crush on me (don't mean to sound vain) - I have a pretty big crush on her. She isn't one of those 'popular' girls and seems a little shy and quiet. She added me on Facebook the other day, and she only has 3 mutual friends and I'm friends with a lot of people on her course and mine through Facebook, yet she hasn't added them? But she decided to add me. She also doesn't have that many friends on facebook and doesn't seem to use it very often. She's liked my posts that I publish too. I know it sounds like nothing, but everyone I've asked says she's hinting. Anyway, I don't really know where to begin. I want to start talking to her and maybe ask her out later. Has anyone got any tips? Link to comment
and so it goes Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Find a University event that is related to something you guys would both like. Volunteer with the people putting on the event and then say you want to deliver fliers for them. Approach the table and give them some fliers and a spiel about how they (she actually) should go, tell them you'll be there. If she is smart and likes you, then she will go to event and you pounce. Even more sneaky: pull some fliers off a bulletin board and distribute them to her table with spiel. You two with have a good laugh about it years hence. Fortune favours the brave my friend. Link to comment
seanryder Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 You know the way 'confidence' is the most attractive feature to both sexes. 'Confidence' in this situation means that you approach her and ask her out for a coffee (no big deal).....the very fact that you have the guts to do that and risk rejection means you have confidence (and yes I know your heart will be pounding through your chest). Even if she declines your offer she will have huge respect for you and the fact that you did it anyway.......most guys don't do that....you did...so you stand out from the crowd...simple as that. If she says she has a boyfriend, you say 'lucky guy' and wish her the best. Either way it's a win-win.....and believe me when she tells her girlfriends about what you did you will go up in everybody's estimation. Good luck. Sean Link to comment
jakeatl Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 You're right. However, there is an extremely high chance of her not being on her own. I always see her hanging round with her friends. In my head, if I ask her something like that she'd feel pressured into giving me an answer she may not truly mean while she's surrounded by other people. I was thinking more of talking to her for a bit in person and then asking her via message? That way she can give me an honest answer when she's relaxed etc. (She doesn't have a boyfriend) Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 You can't know if she feels the same because you never have talked to her. Its just a fantasy at this point. Just say hi Link to comment
jakeatl Posted February 17, 2018 Author Share Posted February 17, 2018 I guess, but she's acting in a way that makes me believe it. I will sometime this coming week. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 I guess, but she's acting in a way that makes me believe it. I will sometime this coming week. Or you are interpreting her actions as such. You like her and want her to like you so everything she does means she likes you. I have fallen into that trap Link to comment
jakeatl Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 I understand. Update: I talked to her today for about 10 minutes and we had a pretty good conversation. Wasn't awkward and she was a little nervous and intimidated, as was I. I kept smiling and kept giving her eye contact etc. Long story short - She now knows I like her after her friend told her, even though I wanted it to come from me . When I left her at the end of the conversation, her friend messaged me saying she was smiling and giggling to her other friend about me (I could see her doing that when I was at the other end of the room). What should my next move be? My friends believe I should leave it a few days and not seem needy. I have her on Facebook too so I can message her at any time. They gave me the idea of messaging her Friday night saying I'm going out clubbing on the Saturday night and she's welcome to come with a few friends. That way it's not just me and her and it's casual. I won't see her much (or even at all) this week because of our timetable differences. Anyway, I'd appreciate some input. Thanks Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I understand. Update: I talked to her today for about 10 minutes and we had a pretty good conversation. Wasn't awkward and she was a little nervous and intimidated, as was I. I kept smiling and kept giving her eye contact etc. Long story short - She now knows I like her after her friend told her, even though I wanted it to come from me . When I left her at the end of the conversation, her friend messaged me saying she was smiling and giggling to her other friend about me (I could see her doing that when I was at the other end of the room). What should my next move be? My friends believe I should leave it a few days and not seem needy. I have her on Facebook too so I can message her at any time. They gave me the idea of messaging her Friday night saying I'm going out clubbing on the Saturday night and she's welcome to come with a few friends. That way it's not just me and her and it's casual. I won't see her much (or even at all) this week because of our timetable differences. Anyway, I'd appreciate some input. Thanks How can you like her if you only just talked to her now? I would just go about your day and see if she strikes up a conversation with you the next time she sees you and don't let friends influence everything so much. I do think clubbing is not what you should do to get to know someone -- sure if everyone was going bowling - you can have fun and still talk but all the loud pulsing music -- who can get to know anyone?? Link to comment
jakeatl Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 I don't like her like that, it's just a little crush. She's attractive and I liked our conversation, I'm just curious and want to get to know her better. I completely agree with you, clubbing is definitely not an activity to socialize with someone properly and get to know them. I wasn't using clubbing as a chance to get to know her better, but as a chance to be in a casual and fun environment for me to then ask her if she would like to go on a proper date sometime etc. I rarely see her throughout my day, and she strikes me as the shy type so I doubt she would be the one to come up to me. I feel as though I'd need to get the ball rolling but I don't really know how to do that other than message her Friday asking if she'd like to come along with some friends for a night out? Link to comment
jakeatl Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Unsure if anyone's still reading this, but long story short we both admitted we like each other, and we're dating now. Link to comment
Cope Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I was just reading our story. AWESOME news!!! Are you happy? :) :) Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 You don't build rapport through texting, social media, etc. Also not asking her to go for coffee/go out one-on-one means she thinks you're not interested. Don't play higschool crush games like this friend said this, told her that, etc. Asking her to tag along with your friends clubbing is lame and not a date. You are friendzoning yourself big-time with maneuvers like not asking her out directly and rudely announcing you're clubbing with your friendsand she can tag along.. I left her at the end of the conversation, her friend messaged me saying she was smiling and giggling to her other friend about me. They gave me the idea of messaging her Friday night saying I'm going out clubbing on the Saturday night and she's welcome to come with a few friends. T Link to comment
jakeatl Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 It worked out in the end. I didn't know her that well so I asked if she wanted to tag along with my friends on a night out. She accepted. I used it as a kind of 'slingshot' to break the ice a bit more. I didn't use it as a date, but more of a casual get-together. We had been talking for a week by that point - both in person a few times and over text. We met in the club and immediately started talking on the sofas and had some drinks together and we could hear each other quite well. Me, her and her friends went to a few different clubs (We weren't drunk, just a little tipsy). We ended up kissing on the dance floor and we both admitted we liked each other. We left the club and held hands and walked round town at 4am just talking about life. I'm going on a first date with her today:) Link to comment
jakeatl Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 All of what I thought was correct by the way. She admitted to staring at me, adding me on facebook and liking my posts hoping I would catch her drift and start talking to her, which I did. Needless to say she was happy about it. Link to comment
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