glitterfingers Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 I have two friends from uni that I've known for several years now, and while we've all diverged in our lives we still chat and catch up a few times a year. Or we did until one of them started cancelling all the time. Of three attempts at catching up last year, she only turned up to one (and somewhat reluctantly) Late last year she started insisting we should catch up (one on one). I wasn't going to invite her out again but I agreed to see her when she suggested it, and we ended up making plans for NYE. She cancelled a few days beforehand with an excuse I later found out was legitimate. I didn't care much because I got invited to a party anyway. But then she again insisted we catch up, and kept asking me a lot of questions about my life and telling me very personal things about hers. I went along with it more out of politeness. But this time she did actually turn up when she said she would (and it was near my home so I was ok with that). She explained that she had been busy, stressed and suffering with mental health issues for a while. I got the impression she was getting over those issues. Now I had plans with the other friend, and we invited Cancelling Girl who kept expressing that she wanted to see the other friend too. We finally made arrangements a week ago and then... Yep, you guessed it. She cancelled. She asked if we could push it back to this week. So we agreed. And then earlier today, you will never guess what happened... She. Cancelled. Now here's the thing. Normally I would walk away from this without much hesitation, because it seems that she doesn't really care about us. But here's why I'm giving it pause for thought: She knows she has an issue with flaking We're not the only people she does this to I don't think she has that many friends (see previous point) She quite clearly hasn't got it together on a lot of issues in her life (we're in our mid 20s) She sent a very sincere apology tonight that did make a lot of sense for her current reasons (new job) I just don't understand what's going on with her? My other friend shrugged it off because they barely talk to each other. But I do speak to her, and what's more is that she seems to want to talk about personal things. So I'm getting mixed signals here. I would love to have a better friendship with her and be there for her if that's what she needs - should I tell her that even though I don't see that happening with her current behaviour? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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