Please help, I do not know what to do.

[bb4769]

So I was recently in an online relationship for almost a year and broke up immediately after discovering that he was married. After discovering everything, I've realized that he was a compulsive liar and created a completely different identity in order to communicate with me. He confessed after I confronted him and begged me not to tell his wife and that he would. Later in the evening he messaged me saying he had told her everything and told me that she said she did not want to ever hear about me or hear from me otherwise she would go off on me. We have stopped all contact since. I feel like it would be important for his wife to know what has happened but I do not know if I should tell her due to him telling me not to talk to her. I'm sure I was not the only one he was talking to though in hindsight. I believe that he said she didn't want to hear from me is because he actually had not talked to her about it and simply does not want her knowing what has happened. Never once did he break up with me, so I do not believe he has the decency to tell her. I think what he told me was just a scare tactic. What do you guys think? Should I go ahead and tell her everything regardless if he did or not? If I was on the flip side, I would want to know everything.

[DanZee]

Well, I believed he lied about telling his wife. And I know you're hurt, but what purpose would it serve telling his wife? You just want some revenge? Just walk away and never engage in an online relationship again!

 

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You know the old joke, on the Internet nobody knows you're a dog? Well, it's true. Anyone can be anyone on the Internet, and even if someone is telling you the truth, how do you "date" someone who's 500 or a thousand miles away?

 

Just walk away. Block him out of your life and forget about him. The relationship wasn't real. Just move on and find someone in the real world to date!

[MissCanuck]

I'm with DanZee - I don't believe for a moment he told his wife anything.

 

Be done with this and just walk away. Don't get involved in purely online relationships in the future.

[Batya33]

He didn't tell his wife and in this case your safety is more important. You have no idea who he is, if he is actually a man even, if she already knows, etc. Please stay out of it.

[ThatwasThen]

Why are you conducting online relationships anyway? That sounds likely a total waste of time and emotions. You don't even know who you're talking to as you found out.

[bb4769]

Why are you conducting online relationships anyway? That sounds likely a total waste of time and emotions. You don't even know who you're talking to as you found out.

In the beginning, he made be to believe that the situation such that we would be able to see each other every couple months. (I do not know whether or not this is even true now) We almost met up a couple instances but I was not ready given the circumstances. Surely it is entirely possible that he would have just cancelled on me last minute! However, things changed and I realized it would be mostly long distance/online. Through everything that has occurred, I've learned that online relationships are indeed a waste of time and unfortunately I was simply being played.

 

@everyone else, thank you for all your input!!

[ThatwasThen]

Try to keep your online datingto only allow men within a short bus trip or car ride away. That way you get to meet them quickly and you can tell by their actions whether they match their words.

 

Sorry this happened to you but look on the positive side... You've learned a lesson that will get you to your end dating goal with a good guy that much quicker now that you've given up long distance online only interactions with men.

 

Good luck going forth.