mamaalien Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 So basically I started dating this guy two years ago. We hit it off instantly. Shortly after, we unexpectedly got pregnant. So now I am a mother. Not only am I raising my son, but I am also partially raising his daughter from a previous relationship. I’ve been watching her for the entire two years we’ve been together. It started out as a generous offer so that he could see her more since he was only able to for two days a week at the time. Her mother jumped on the opportunity to have me watch her and has taken an advantage of me for quite some time. For example, having me watch her throughout my entire pregnancy while he worked constantly. Always asking for us to keep her longer than was agreed for, which he always agreed to as well. So on and so forth. As of right now, I am still staying at home with my son and I’m keeping the stepchild on weekends since she started school last fall. I’m starting to grow very tired, seeing as he works 6 days a week. I carry the lionshare of the work when it comes to the baby. Always the one to wake with him during night time hours, and in the morning. I’m the one who puts him to bed and I’m the one who watches him all day long. As a mother, I know a lot of this responsibility is on me and I am fine with that. I think where I am growing so tired is due to him never really offering to let me sleep a full night or offering to take care of him in the morning when he wakes. Same thing on weekends since their father works through the weekend. So therefore I have the workload I normally carry, but times two. Also, any time the daughter has a teacher work day, we keep her. Her mother has a very active social life, and lives with her mother so therefore she has constant help. I am flat out thoroughly exhausted. I don’t live near any family that has any interest in helping but have family in another state that would love for me to move closer to them so that they could be a part of my son growing up and helping me with him from time to time. But my boyfriend refuses to move there since his daughter lives here, which I understand. Not only am I exhausted from raising two kids, but I’m also growing very bored with the fact that I have no other outside activities to engage in. And whenever I do plan to go out with a friend, I end up taking the baby with me. Most of the time even if he is home from work, that is the case. Every now and then I will tell him I need to leave the baby with him, but rarely. Here lately I am starting to grow very depressed with where I am at in life. I have this overwhelming desire to get back out there and it won’t go away. I desperately want to go back to school so I can start investing in a career. But that is impossible seeing as where I am living, I have no support. I want to go back to work, but I am constantly expected to watch over the children. The boyfriend and I also don’t have a very rich relationship, and I don’t mean money. I mean experiences. The only time he’s ever made it a priority to take me on a date is when I have brought it to his attention. In the two years we have been dating, we have went on 5 or 6 total? Maybe. He seems to be content with going to work, coming home and hanging out for a few hours and then going to bed, day in and day out. I’m just getting to a place where I don’t know what to talk to him about because nothing exciting takes place anymore. We’re also having some financial problems. He’s the only one working, as I stated before. And I have never had any concrete say so over our money. He says that his money is our money. And gives me some to spend on myself here and there. But we do seem to run out of money rather quickly and I can’t account for it so it’s driving me batty. He gives me a quick run down and always says “it adds up.” Which I understand. I have been out on my own since I was 18 and I’m now going on 26. I just think that we need to have more than one income because right now we are in a cycle of living paycheck to paycheck and I’d like to make a nice life for my children and myself. I know this post was a little sporadic. Still, any and all advice would be appreciated. I’m open to giving more details if there are any questions. Please and thank you. Link to comment
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