ella20 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Please, can anyone advise what to do...at my work there was construction project and I had to work fairly closely with the manager for 3 months. I was often cold, demanding and bit rude...he always warm...and funny. I finally got mellow 2 weeks ago and we got on very well. Last week it hit me that I am extremely attracted to him. I was shocked as he is the furthest from my type ...like total opposite. He is 46 and lives 3 hours away in another city. Last Friday was his last day and I was gutted. He said bye, thanked me for help and kissed me on my lips. I also said that was amazing to work with him. He said I should feel free to call him for advice or anything. On Monday I had to call to close some jobs and at the end I said if he will ever going to be in London again, we should get a drink. He said he would like that and that he is back in 10 days but will be working an hour from me on new project. He said we can get the drink then... What to do ? Do I wait for him to contact me then ? We have each other what's app as we communicated this way. What if he does not see me this way? Last day he said twice I looked very nice ....this was the only time he said something personal... I regret I was horrible towards him ...i just hope I didn't put him off....only 2 weeks ago he probably saw my smile for the first time... I realised this was a wonderful man ...would love to get to know him.... Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Ella is this the same guy from October? Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 He's 46.....how old are you? For a manager to kiss you on the lips at the end of a project is creepy, not endearing. Especially since he lives far away. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? That was at the very least inappropriate. I don't know, I don't have much advice. I guess if you want to have drinks with him, have drinks with him. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Why are you so afraid of commitment? To try and get something going with a guy that lives three hours away, someone that you know absolutely NOTHING about is what people who have fear of commitment get themselves into. Let him contact you and if he actually does, you'd do well to just have the drink. Full Stop. Link to comment
ella20 Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 Figureitout, no it's a new man...that I didn't pay to attention until two weeks ago. I wouldn't say I don't know anything about him...i got to know him , his work ethics, how reliable and of wonderful character he has....he was at my work temporary ...3 months project but daily meetings made me realise he is worth getting to know.... He is a manager of a project but nothing to do with managing me ...we work for different companies. He was just sent to do job and that's it. We kissed on the lips purely by accident ...when we hugged goodbye ...it was lovely but not planned...he was always very professional. I am not afraid of commitment...and trust me ...if things would work ...i would be more than happy to relocate. Company I work for has head office in his city...ha but obviously I am not going that far... My issue is ...i didn't give him chance to get to know real me...i was cold and unpleasant...( partially cause of disappointment with October man and personal issues ) I was blind to his kindness and help. He helped me very much with many things at work .... I miss him now and just hope that he will really call to meet for this drink ... Don't want to come across as desperate that's why I won't contact him ....or perhaps one liner on 14th ? I am 39 by the way....i always liked dark hair men ...he is blonde , blue eyes and bit belly ...but for me now is the most handsome! Link to comment
ella20 Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 By the way he is so 100 proc single as he was always talking / joking about it " oh am going for a drink after work ..am single so I can travel anywhere etc single so I can do this and that " he has a daughter 7 years but I don't know his story.... I think he enjoyed being single cause Christmas he spend with " his boys " in Greece....in a few weeks he will travel with his friends again. ...he works hard and play harder me thinks....so I don't think he is looking for anyone ...besdies he always works 2 months here and 3 months there....depends on projects ...not promising... Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Did you discuss what his marital status was? Do you know if he's single? You only know the surface and what he wanted you to know. If he doesn't call, then chalk it up to you being enthralled with the fantasy of him, consider the last two weeks a pleasant experience and then put him in the recesses of your mind where he belongs. I find that people that date people that are not local and where nurturing the relationship would be easy are mostly scared of something or they would be avoiding people where the relationship would be difficult to culminate. I don't know anything about "October" guy but I'm getting a vibe he's why you're crushing on someone who is three hours away and therefore more "safe" then someone close enough to nurture something serious. *shrugs* Link to comment
ella20 Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 It just came out that he is single ..we didn't discuss our personal lives as such...i checked his profile on social media and I am 100 proc sure he single...( am not a stalker ...just like to research lol) I don't even know if he would like to have that drink with me or he is just being polite by agreeing to have one...i offered cause I felt guilt for being horrible and cause I like him. October man was also met at work ( ridiculous...i know ) he asked me out for months and when I started to like him he told me he has 4 kids and lives with their mum....further it appeared he sleeps with his best friend - woman who is 70 year old ...so I felt bit annoyed by him bothering me ... It was attraction there ...he was my type ..here with this man is unexpected. Working together and him being consistent with his lovely behaviour...made me realise how I would like to know about him more.... But you are right he may just be my fantasy ...and I will do as you suggest - if he won't call I will forget all about him. At least won't have to see him daily ....so should be easy. I can't turn back time and be normal warm person as I would like to think I am....cant convince him I or explain myself that I had rough time and that sadly he got to know my dark side ....and that am bubbly just like he is etc ...that would be pathetic .... Hope he will call ...if not ..lesson learned- always be kind ... Link to comment
ella20 Posted February 8, 2018 Author Share Posted February 8, 2018 Tomorrow will be a week since he left the job. He has my what's app as he sent me a few funny videos when we worked together....i haven't heard a word from him since I suggested a drink... I guess that's says it all....gutted as hell. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Tomorrow will be a week since he left the job. He has my what's app as he sent me a few funny videos when we worked together....i haven't heard a word from him since I suggested a drink... I guess that's says it all....gutted as hell. Why? You had the opportunity to have an actual thing with him, there's a reason it didn't happen. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Give him a few more days! :-) Link to comment
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