Ex gf playing mind games??

[BigMike]

Hi everyone,

 

My gf of 6 months broke up with me about 7 weeks ago. Long story short, we were beginning to have a lot of arguments and we couldn't seem to deal with the conflict. The fighting was not healthy and I feel we were definitely in a bad spot. That aside, I still believed we had opportunities to work out our issues but she felt she couldn't and that's why she chose to end our relationship. I've been NC since the break up, some of which was initiated by her as right after the breakup she told me she needed her space and blocked my cell and fb account. In that time she has reached out a couple times. Once to wish me a merry Christmas and then once again about 3 weeks later basically saying "I miss you, and I love you, but I can't be with you" which not only is a mind #$$@ but also pretty lame if you ask me. I didn't respond to either of these messages. I finally reached out to her about 3 weeks ago to ask if she could give me some commitment to pay back some money that I had loaned her last year. She responded and agreed to pay me back but that she wants to have the discussion in person since it's a sensitive subject. She suggests meeting up over the weekend and asks my schedule, in which I replied to. Then she never responds back to me over the entire weekend, basically blowing me off. Texts me early the following Monday saying she got busy but that we can meet that evening if I want, essentially acting like she didn't blow me off. I proceeded to tell her that I'm disappointed that she couldn't give me the courtesy to text me and tell me that she couldn't meet etc., especially since it was a sensitive and important discussion - her words btw. and moving forward I didn't think meeting up would benefit either of us. She writes back simply saying "OK, if you need to contact me here's my email... good luck with your life". So fast forward about three weeks. I of course haven't reached out to her but also still feeling depressed and confused about the entire breakup since we didn't really have any post-breakup discussions. Anyways, she texts me out of the blue saying "Hey... can I ask you a question?". At first I wasn't sure if I should respond but after several hours I caved and said "sure". Then nothing, complete radio silence on her end. So now I'm super confused because she asked me if she could ask a question and then never followed up with the question. What's that all about? Is she just playing games to see if I'd still respond to her if she texted me? Any advice here would be great because it's really confusing me and keeping me from moving on from the situation.

 

Thanks in advance! -Confused Mike

[RainyCoast]

Well, she *wants* you to have difficulty and setbacks moving on because its more validating that way.

 

How much money does she owe you? Can you afford to consider it lost for good?

 

If so, i'd just completely disconnect her.

[limichelle]

I agree with RainyCoast. If it's not a significant amount of money then just cut off all communication. She's playing the cat and mouse game with you and that's not fair!

[SweetGirl28]

I think she's ticked that you took so long to reply to the text about the question she wanted to ask, so she decided not to reply to you.

[Rns]

I think she's ticked that you took so long to reply to the text about the question she wanted to ask, so she decided not to reply to you.

 

Yes i have reacted in that way when someone takes a long time responding to me... especially if i know they r the type to always have their phone in hand.

[BigMike]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

 

She owes me a pretty significant amount of money but I’m starting to lean towards just moving on from it, for my mental health. Having to deal with her and monthly payments is not really something I want to deal with.

 

I could see her not responding because I responded after a few hours but again she was the one that blocked my cell so I’m not going to drop everything to talk to her when it’s convenient for her to unblock me. It shows a certain level of immaturity and disrespect too. I mean I’m not about to not talk to somebody because they took awhile to respond back. Especially if I was the one that did the dumping and closed my ex off. Anyways, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on in her head which is probably a bad idea!