Getting past the worst of things

[frankiee]

I have posted on here a few times in the past as I believe talking about things with people not involved in the relationships is extremely helpful.

 

For background information, my boyfriend and I were dating for about 8 months when I discovered he was inappropriately snap chatting a girl (someone I also know) and they made out once and he never spoke to her again. There is evidence of this never speaking again, etc. Background on this girl, they had went on a single date a year before and that same night her and I and a bunch of friends went to a bar where she stated she saw him and that was end of conversation. He didn't pursue her after. Fast forward to when him and I started dating, he mentioned it to her (they worked together at the time) and she said to him 'That's so strange because she is the one that told me I shouldn't date you and that you were a horrible person'. Now she is my friends ex and he has mentioned before that she is quite manipulative and flirting and that's why the ended things.

 

I guess this idea that somehow I prevented them from dating bothered him and they started chatting more, etc. made out once and then he realized it was wrong? They stopped talking but I found out. In the end, I ended up sticking around, we had a rough go for a few months but I eventually forgave him. Things now (a year later), are better than they ever have been. Our communication, how we get along and just everything is much better than even before anything happened. I have forgiven him and mostly trust him again in many aspects of our relationship but there are still times where I wake up from a bad dream about it crying and then basically accuse him in a sense. He is working nights so I'll see he is on snapchat and freak out, feeling he is hiding something. He always calms me down and says it's not my fault and it will take me time and is always willing to 'show me' evidence that he is nothing to hide even though I don't accept because I don't think that's healthy.

 

Has anyone ever been in this situation? What did you do to overcome that 'last obstacle' for lack of better words?

 

xo

If not, any mindfulness advice. I have made my decisions and stand by everything but need help on how to just accept everything sometimes without it spiraling out of control

[ThatwasThen]

If you choose to stay with him after a betrayal then you must be very vigilant of the negative dialogue going on in your head and change it to something positive about you and him. Be sure to tell yourself that he chose to be with you, that he isn't doing anything sketchy and that he's doing everything he can to earn your trust by not crossing any romantic relationship boundaries.

 

Its all up to you now so change your mindset so that you can enjoy your relationship with a man you chose to love and be with.

[DanZee]

How many other people is he Snapchatting? Is he only Snapchatting this girl or does he have a lot of friends he's Snapchatting. I only ask because I've seen young folks chatting with a ton of people online. If she's the only one he's Snapchatting, I might be worried.

[RyanJ64]

Im not sure I can help answer your question. But I was kinda in a similar situation, except she didnt take me back.

What Im getting at here is, I would do and give anything to be with her again. You gave him a second chance, I think he will be there for you until the end and would never let anything like before ever happen again.