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Everything posted by RyanJ64

  1. Thank you Sputnik 123. I am trying to keep going but I cant stop thinking about it. Her being with someone else in a petty pathetic act. Im crying thinking about it now. I want her to tell me talk to me anything.
  2. I will... Thank you so much Carus. Its just a loop in my head and it wont switch off.
  3. Please read my previous post. I need answers! I need to stop my brain from going in circles. Please help me I dont think Im in the right head space and Im scared I might hurt myself
  4. My whole story is on my page read it if you want the whole back story. I am still very much in love with my ex gf. 3 weeks ago we tried meeting up and hanging out. I got very mixed signals from her, It seemed like she was testing me if I was with someone (I had been on a date with someone since the break up which was 9 months ago but I wasnt with anyone). Like usual I fell in love with her again. I wanted to know if it was worth trying to take that step again. Mutual friends of ours told me things that seemed it could be possible. I eventually asked a mutual friend to give it to me straight. She told me my ex spoke to her saying that when she was with me recently she felt nothing toward me. I then learned something that shattered me... that my ex has been having one night stands. This is someone that you would never have imagined being this way, doing these things (we were each others firsts). It kills me. It is killing me. I became suicidal within minutes of hearing this, rushed to hospital and in a mental health clinic. I called my ex despite my rage and anger I told her the truth that I missed her and wished to get to know her again. Her response was "Is this everything you have to say". She then said we need more time apart and told me she had to go. Then the next day I had another suicidal episode and rushed back to the hospital. I have been through everything, absolutely everything to show her how much she means to me, to prove to her that I can be that person in her life. I dont know what to do or what to think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am currently emotional writing this. I just dont understand, and PLEASE ANYBODY reading this please help me understand!!! How can she be doing this??? How can she prefer sleeping with strangers, having one night stands that must make her feel hollow and empty.... when there is someone she loved not too long ago right there. Telling her they still love her and that they will be there for her every single day of their lives because they love her! How can she do that???????
  5. I did end things with the other girl. It was only two dates so not that bad. It was all my fault, I was the who got drunk and slept with someone else, If you knew me you would know that isnt me. Not at all. And what I did hurt her so badly. The thing is we have these mutual friends who dated, broke up and were apart for nearly a year and that guy had slept with a few people and even dated a girl for a few months after they split. They got back together and are very much in love. I just feel if they could make it work, so could we!
  6. We have been apart for 9 months 3 of which we didnt talk or see each other at all. The vreak up was 100% my fault but i owned up to it and learned from it. We have been chatting for the last few weeks, but only a hand full of times. We have met up once or twice, nothing fancy. I want to ask her out to dinner. I am still madly inlove with this woman. Our close friends tell me shes hiding, that shes not as happy as she says she is. Yet when I message her she doesnt respond until 5 to 10 hours later. I just want to know if I should do it. Wont she just push me back further.
  7. Hey dude. I literary went through this 5 months ago. She asked for no contact and that was that. I know you want her back, i get it. I still want my ex back. Would take her back in a heart beat. But heres the thing. You have to move on. Its easier said than done. But I didnt move on. I went crazy not talking to her, I messaged her friends asking about her, I stalked her social media, I tried big gestures to win her back. But i realised everything i did made it worse. I dug my hole deeper everyday at a chance of reconciliation. Take it from me. You need space away from her. It will help you immensely. Take up hobbies and go to new places. Dont try seeing anyone new it wont work out. The biggest one is you need to cut all contact from her. No phone, messaging, facebook. Nothing. There are 2 reasons you should do this. 1) After some time she will think differently about you. She will remember all the good times with you. The time apart will make her miss you. And she will contact you. 2) If she doesnt want to be with you then too bad for her, but you would have healed and gained that onfidence back with the time apart. The last thing I can say is dont hold onto hope to tightly. It will break you apart when youre holding on and shes out there meeting people.
  8. I cant offer advice but this hits me hard because my ex didnt want children and I did. And Im still battling with how much I love her and feel we are meant to be together. This really hit me hard. Im so sorry this all happened to you.
  9. Well it really depends on what shes feeling and how you act during the meet up. Having gone through this exact thing and it blowing up in my face I suggest dont make assumptions on how the convo will go. Dont get emotional because it will push her away. And you have to accept the possibility that she will say no to you. If it does go well and shes flirting back, maybe ask her out at the end of the meet up.
  10. Yeah we both moved out and are now 10 mins away. Ive been feeling guilt since this all happened. I havent told the new girl. Its only been two dates so its very casual.
  11. I trust the guy who told me. Why we broke up , due to work I became distant, and we lived 2 hours apart so it was difficult to get the energy to see each other. But mainly I was distant and she then felt we had an experation date.
  12. I hear you all loud and clear. Thank you all for your advice. This new girl isnt a rebound more of a lets see whats out there. And by no means am I doing this to make my ex jealous, not that kind of person. I think i need to tell this new girl Im not emotionally ready just yet and would prefer to take it slow. I havent heard my ex say it directly to me. Shes a very guarded person and very rarely opens up to people. She wouldn't say it unless she really needed to. My ex has been chatting to me lately. Calls me maybe once a week or two weeks. I have hung out with her once about 3 weeks ago and she seemed to be testing me? As weird as that sounds I think to see if ive changed. Not sure. Im making her sound bad but believe me shes incredible, just had a ty few months. I think im going to wait a few weeks unitl I feel ready to tell her my feelings. Hopefully she expresses something first.... not holding onto hope of that but itd be great if it happened haha.
  13. I was told by the boyfriend of one of her best friends. He has heard alot from his girlfriend about how she isnt that happy and has been putting on a brave face. From what he hears, she misses me and has forgiven me for what I did and is only thinkingof the positives from our relationship. I put alot of effort to show her how much she means to me.
  14. I understand what youre saying. But she didnt finish with me because she wanted to see what else was out there... she broke it off because of what I did. Story is we broke up mutually but were basically talking about getting back together. 4 weeks after we broke up I got really drunk out of depression while out clubbing due to my mate asking how she was, they didnt know yet we had split. It sounds cliche to say but its true that an ex friend took advantage of that and I ended up sleeping with someone else😔 I realise how ty of a person it makes me and my actions were a dog lile behaviour, but I know this, I know how horrible I am for letting it happen. Its not like me to do anything like that so it really hurt her as well as myself. But the damage was done. I learned from my mistakes instantly when I became aware of what was happening. Ive shown my ex that I love her and I never gave up. For 9 months apart now, I still love her. Thats why I cant just let her go... because I do love her very much.
  15. I'll expand on the title. So my ex and I had a really bad breakup after 1.5 years. I didnt take it well at all because I loved her very much. And she was deadset to moving on. I made huge mistakes that caused the breakup but learned from them. Its now been 9 months since we split and in those 9 months she has been on tinder, clubbing, making out with random people and has actively tried meeting people. After hearing that I tried tinder myself (not a fan of clubs) and i hit it off with this this one girl. And shes pretty amazing but its only been two dates thus far. BUUUUT i heard from a friend that my ex has just been putting on a brave face and has been reminiscing about us alot lately. They are adamant there could be a chance of her wanting to get back together. Im so happy of a chance of us getting back together. But im confused because I have hit it off rather well with this other girl. Should I keep seeing this other girl? Even if theres a chance of rekindling my relationship with my ex. 1) Should I still see her and if my ex wants try again, end things with the other girl? 2) End things now with the other girl?
  16. Shes using you. My ex kept me along for months after our breakup. Whenever I did something wrong no matter how tiny, it was something she would use against me. Some girls like the attention. Knowing theres someone out there that cares for them gives them power, confidence. Shes not calling cause you guys arent together anymore, shes chatting to other guys now. Shes potentially keeping you as a safety net incase she cant find someone better. Just ask her straight what is going on and youll have your answer. Dont hold onto hope that theres a future with her, it probably never will happen.
  17. I cant stop thinking about my ex. We've been broken up with for 8 months and I still have such strong feelings for her. She's made it clear she wants to be friends and only that. Now I've tried meeting people but shes still on my mind. And I fear no matter who I meet she will always be the one I want to be with and that people after her are nothing more than a distraction. What must I do? We both have the same friends, so the day will come when she arrives to a party with some guy at her side and I know it will break me. And also no matter how time goes by I will still feel this way.
  18. So brief background. My ex and i were together for a year and a half. We broke up and after 4 weeks apart I (while drunk) slept with someone else, i told my ex instantly about it not to hurt her but to be honest because i wanted her back and what happened was a huge huge huge mistake. My ex spent 6 months telling me "not saying no just not now". In that time she was on tinder and making out with guys at clubs, but i still had hope. I went on a few friendly dates with her and also organised her surprise 21st (was organising it before we broke up). I went a little crazy wanting to know the truth and she eventually told me no, she never wants to be with me now and in the future. So here it is... what my post is about. Its been over 4 months since i last saw her or spoken to her. A few nights ago we had a mutual friends party. My ex called me the night before to talk to me about something. We were on the phone for 2 hours chatting and laughing. The party was a little weird but ok, didnt talk much. On my way home from that party i called her just to chat, we were on the phone for over an hour which was good. I invited her to come see my new place and she accepted. She came by the next night and we had dinner. It got weird for me because she wanted to show me the scratch marks her dogs gave her really high on her leg. She showed me basically her whole leg plus some underwear and asked if i wanted to touch it (the scratches), I declined because i didnt want to relapse with my feelings to her. She also seemed quite impressed with several changes ive made in my life. Does she have feelings for me? Am i reading too much into this?? Is it worth pursuing?????? Please any help would be great.
  19. I dont have a drinking problem. I dont drink alcohol. I have on a few occassions usually friends birtbdays and what not , but i am very very weak to it. 1 beer and it effects me. But that night in reference to my post above I had a few due to being depressed about the thought of losing my ex forever.
  20. So I should put down the facts. So my ex and I broke up mutually and then we tried again but I ed up BIG time while I was drunk. I spent 6 months trying to get her back, she kept telling me "not saying no just not now" to us. She eventually told me no now and ever, she never wants to be with me again. We havnt spoken since (3 months). We both went to the same college and I was new to the state so all my friends are her friends. Heres my question. I have a mutual friends event coming up soon and she will be there, i would like to see my friends again but not sure seeing her will be wise. What should I do????? My ex has hosted a few parties at her place where all my friends were invited but me (I wanst even told, and my friends havent been telling about these gatherings, when it comes up in convo they tell me its just a thing). What should I do?
  21. So my ex and I have been broken up for 8 months, 6 of those months I spent trying to get her to give me another chance. Since we split she has got her dream job, moved out, lives in a great area with good friends right next door, shes on tinder and dating (mutual friends told me)and is so close to the city she can party when ever she wants now. Her life seems perfect. We havnt seen or spoken in 3 months I just want to know, does she still miss me at all? Despite having everthing she ever wanted, do I come across her mind? Does she miss being with me.
  22. Im not sure I can help answer your question. But I was kinda in a similar situation, except she didnt take me back. What Im getting at here is, I would do and give anything to be with her again. You gave him a second chance, I think he will be there for you until the end and would never let anything like before ever happen again.
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