Simoneaparecid Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Hello!! I really appreciate everyone’s advices here, i have been living in england the past 2 years, unfortunately i don’t have many friends over here. I have been with my partner for a year now and a few months back he mentioned about marriage, he ended up asking if I would marry him! I said yes!! I love him... and i would leave all my plans to go back home (Italy) to stay here with him. But I haven’t felt anything special so far... Well, it might be just a girl dream.. But i did thought one day someone would propose me in a nice way.. A ring.. It does sound superficial.. i guess it was just a wish since i was a little girl. My partner had a girlfriend for 6 years before me.. And there is not a single person who doesn’t mention about her in front of me! We had a dinner with some of his friends.. And he ended up saying we have plans to get married soon, the first thing i heard was.. “Oh you were with Any for 6 years”!! I felt very uncomfortable!! We never planned anything.. We never chose a date... We never talk about it! And i try!!! But it just feels that it doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal :( I ended up not feeling excited about it at all! He keep pushing me away.. That’s what I feel! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Congratulations. Is he on the rebound from this other long term relationship and just wanting to rush things? Does he want to live together? Have you asked him when you plan on marrying?I have been with my partner for a year now and a few months back he mentioned about marriage, he ended up asking if I would marry him! I said yes! Link to comment
Simoneaparecid Posted February 2, 2018 Author Share Posted February 2, 2018 I have asked him a few times, he always says this year.. Maybe June or July, he always end up saying he need to ask his parents first! His Grandparents didn’t have a very good reaction.. and suggested that i was marrying him because of Brexit! :( We are living together ag the moment.. i just feel off the Marriage subject now.. I don’t feel any happiness or excitement from his side. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Did he actually propose to you or was he just discussing getting married and you took it as a serious proposal and now it's all weird as it all went too far and now neither one of you knows how to address this..... Link to comment
Simoneaparecid Posted February 2, 2018 Author Share Posted February 2, 2018 He actually proposed, he told his friends.. Family.. Everyone! This is why I’m so confused... his lack of interest! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Did he tell them that to justify living together? Especially rushing in in less than a year. How does he "lack interest"? Do you mean no ring, date, plans, etc.?He actually proposed, he told his friends.. Family.. Everyone! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 He actually proposed, he told his friends.. Family.. Everyone! This is why I’m so confused... his lack of interest! In that case, I think it's time to sit down with him and have a serious conversation about what's really going on with him. Do not talk about yourself and how you are upset. Stay calm and invite him to tell you what's up with him and make it as inviting as possible for him to tell you the truth. You are correct that you should both be on cloud nine, planning things and looking forward to a life together. He isn't on the same page so you need to know what's going on with him. You don't want to get married, just to get married and especially when the guy you are marrying doesn't seem thrilled about it. This is a serious life decision and not something to be taken lightly. If there are problems, doubts, etc - they need to be cleared before you walk down the isle and spend the next few years regretting that and end up divorcing. Link to comment
Simoneaparecid Posted February 2, 2018 Author Share Posted February 2, 2018 I don’t know if he said that just because I’m living here, they knew i have been living here. But the lack of interest.. am I overthinking? I just thought we would be happy together about it. We would be planning what we want to do.. When we would like to do... Where.. There was no ring involved.. I think I wouldn’t even mind that.. if we were at least happy about our future together. Link to comment
DanZee Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Simone, you're just letting yourself get dragged along in this relationship. You have serious doubts about your boyfriend, but you got carried away by his marriage proposal and said yes to it. Meanwhile, after a year, it sounds like he already takes you for granted. You're paying half his mortgage. You do the housekeeping and the cooking. You're definitely in a rebound relationship. I don't want to see you writing a year from now crying about how you miss Italy, you're trapped in a loveless marriage and you're pregnant and can't get out. You have to decide what you're going to do because your time is running out. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Sorry but if this is the case he's stringing you along for the free housekeeper services and paying the mortgage down on his house. Stop at once doing all this. Move out. He owns the house, i help him paying half of his mortgage and half of all the bills. I do the shopping, I keep the house clean, i do all the cooking. Link to comment
nao Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 He asked you because that seemed a twisted "logical" move for him, since his big love left, he thought he needs something to move on to, but he is probably not in love with you, you sensed that right, always trust your feelings, a man in love would have proposed differently... I would just leave him, you deserve a better one! I saw this story before, my brother's big love left him, so he decided he has to be married by the age of 30, so he married a girl, he never loved, everybody knows there is no love between them....... so sad! Don't be that girl that gives up on her dreams!!! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Simone, you're just letting yourself get dragged along in this relationship. You have serious doubts about your boyfriend, but you got carried away by his marriage proposal and said yes to it. Meanwhile, after a year, it sounds like he already takes you for granted. You're paying half his mortgage. You do the housekeeping and the cooking. You're definitely in a rebound relationship. I don't want to see you writing a year from now crying about how you miss Italy, you're trapped in a loveless marriage and you're pregnant and can't get out. You have to decide what you're going to do because your time is running out. I totally agree. There are so many red flags. Take heed. This is as good a chance as any to quit now and go back home. If you get married to this guy you are setting yourself up for a very sad and miserable marriage (imo) and then find yourself serving him with divorce papers. Not worth all the heartache and pain. Leave now before it gets to that stage. Link to comment
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