A few months away of becoming a 40 yr old kissless virgin

[mdumi]

Yes, but relationships aren't given...

[abitbroken]

Then you aren't trying very hard are you? Some people get given houses, cars, money, etc.

 

Oh I understand you, you're essentially saying if less successful people get X then paying for X makes you less than them.

 

No one is just given a house.

If they are 'given' a house is because of good consideration - mom and dad can't take care of themselves anymore and in exchange for living with them and taking care of them in their final days - the particular child gets the house.

There are always conditions - I was "given" a car, but it was because it was garbage and i had to put $5k into it.

Not even a person who wins a car in a charity raffle is just "given" a car. They had to do their part and buy a ticket, then pay the taxes on the car.

[Coolstorybro]

Yes, but relationships aren't given...

This isn't about relationships.

[Coolstorybro]

No one is just given a house.

If they are 'given' a house is because of good consideration - mom and dad can't take care of themselves anymore and in exchange for living with them and taking care of them in their final days - the particular child gets the house.

There are always conditions - I was "given" a car, but it was because it was garbage and i had to put $5k into it.

Not even a person who wins a car in a charity raffle is just "given" a car. They had to do their part and buy a ticket, then pay the taxes on the car.

I know for a fact some people are given houses, my step brother was. Are you less than these people if you have to pay?

[Coily]

To the OP.

 

Like others have said go to a legal service if that is your chosen route. Also if you worry about performance, all men do, be up front and honest; there are tips and tricks I'd guess.

 

I will say that our society views sex and the act as some rite of passage to a relationship; rather than the relationship itself. I think, being a long term single man myself (and hating it), that what you are really missing is the affection and feeling valued by another who chooses to value you in an intimate way. An escort is a band aid to get you a trophy moment, but it really doesn't cure the root cause. You may very well need the confidence boost to find a more meaningful person. It is very rough being a long term single as it leads to cycles of thought that pattern clinical depression, and I think you are trying to break this cycle.

 

 

 

To the poster who thinks that somehow trying to have a very human connection by buying it is less, I would suggest you do some reading into loneliness studies:

 

Baumeister, R. F., Twenge, J. M., & Nuss, C. K. (2002).

Effects of social exclusion on cognitive processes: anticipated loneness reduces intelligent thought. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(4), 817.

 

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2014).

Social relationships and health: The toxic effects of perceived social isolation. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8(2), 58-72.

 

Cacioppo, J. T., Hughes, M. E., Waite, L. J., Hawkley, L. C., & Thisted, R. A. (2006).

Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses. Psychology and Aging, 21(1), 140.

[Johnny Utah]

Honestly, paying for it is not a big deal if you don't make it out to be.

 

An escort or an agency who is told about a virgin will recommend an understanding person.

 

It depends on what you want out of the experience. It likely won't be addicting but is not a solution to all of your problems or likely bigger issues.

[abitbroken]

What do you have to offer a woman?

I know guys that are considered very short by male standards - 4'11'-5'3" that have wives and children.

I know a guy with cerebral palsy - uses a wheelchair - that has a beautiful wife (inside and out) and a gainful career.

 

it doesn't hurt that the second guy is considered having an attractive face, but 99.99% of woman would have passed him up. He met his wife while they were both interning for their respective careers. And they have an adopted child after being rejected many times because of his health condition (but the wife is very healthy and they are younger so that helps) And he DOES NOT HAVE A WOE IS ME attitude though he has every right to, since its likely his wife will outlive him by many years.

 

The guy who is the really short guy is quite average -- not someone who would turn heads based on attractiveness at all, but he is kind hearted, has a good sense of humor, honest and hardworking. He has a very sweet wife - she is short, too. they might even be the same height - and have 3 kids.

 

So you can talk all you want about your height or physical issues. But there are other people that have more severe physical issues or are shorter than you and have relationships. You just have to have more to offer than being about your condition. In fact, there are guys who have on purpose gotten into something that women like - whether that be took theater classes in college to meet women (afterall, the ratio of straight men to straight women is much smaller than gay men to straight women so the odds are in their favor) I think there have been a couple famous actors who actually initially got interested in order to meet women lol, have taken cooking classes, took up horseback riding or volunteered for animal rescue, joined book groups. They have gone to where the women are and where they can meet them where their defenses are down -- not in a bar, etc and they can get to know you with no pressure. Not like you will meet someone off the bat, but you never know.

 

So if you feel all those strikes are against you -- find one that is FOR you and develop it. women know when you are just out to "get laid" . They can smell it miles away.

[mdumi]

To the OP.

To the poster who thinks that somehow trying to have a very human connection by buying it is less, I would suggest you do some reading into loneliness studies:

 

Baumeister, R. F., Twenge, J. M., & Nuss, C. K. (2002).

Effects of social exclusion on cognitive processes: anticipated loneness reduces intelligent thought. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(4), 817.

 

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2014).

Social relationships and health: The toxic effects of perceived social isolation. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8(2), 58-72.

 

Cacioppo, J. T., Hughes, M. E., Waite, L. J., Hawkley, L. C., & Thisted, R. A. (2006).

Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses. Psychology and Aging, 21(1), 140.

 

There is no "connection" here. Just a physical act. A service you buy in this case. Achieves no objective.

 

Relationship you earn, not receive.