Is this Abuse? PLEASE HELP.....!!!

[metallicachica247]

Hey,

One of my teachers (like 50 years old and married) has been touching me a lot lately. In the hall after school when I was working on my science project, he came out of his art studio and put his arm around me. He said "I love seeing girls with power tools. Especially you" and then he started rubbing my back and shoulder. When ever he walks by in our classroom, he puts his hand on the back of my chair and his other on my shoulder. He also rubbs my arm as he walks by and compliments me a lot more than the other students. What is this considered? What should I do?

[MetallicAguy]

This is sexual harassment, it can be in anyway he harasses you like this and it's sexual because of his comment "I like women with power tools" (Loser!) and it's harassment because obviously you don't like it and he's probably 50 fat and bald and hasn't gotten laid in a decade. Telling a counselor or if you have a cop that works at your school telling him would be even better, because then this perverted teacher can get charged and create quite a show for the school hehe.

[bjd123]

This is totally inappropriate and everything inside you tells you so. Its good you are asking..now talk to the school counselor or principal. When girls dont say anything, guys like this continue and make even further advances.

You don't want to get caught cornered by this guy or suddenly alone. Take care of it NOW!

[JackH]

anytime that anyone touches you in a way in which you feel uncomfortable, yeah, it's harassment. it all comes down to how you feel about it. obviously, you feel uncomfortable about it, so i think the best thing for you to do is to tell somebody, whether its another teacher, admistrator, the police, your parents, everyone on campus, just tell people and they can help you make it stop. you could even confront the teacher about it, if you were ok with doing something like that.

[badburnz]

Lay a complaint with somebody at your school immediately. Dont be afraid to do so, as the other students in your class have probably either noticed this guys behaviour or been subjected to it themselves. I went to a school where there were a couple of dudes like this one (all boys school too!) and everyone knew about it but noone did anything, so they got away with it for 10 and fifteen years respectively. This sort of thing is not cool.

[Inconceivable]

This happened at our school recently...One of the PE teachers was being quite perverted. He could be seen on numerous occasions looking down girls' shirts as they did pushups and one girl was dancing for some reason and he walked over to her, put a dollar in her pocket and asked her if she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up. These aren't the only instances, I just can't really remember any more.

 

You need to tell someone. Let them know that you feel uncomfortable and everything will take care of itself. (Just FYI: When the girls finally got the courage to report him, the teacher was sent on paid suspension while the school looked into things and he quit before they had a chance to fire him.)

[Sn0man]

If it bothers you, keep your distance from him. Don't go assuming that he's doing something innapropriate on purpose...he may not be aware that it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you're just one of his favorite students. Start throwing accusations around and you may find yourself in alot of trouble, or get the guy fired for doing something he didn't know he was doing. If it's obvious harassment, sure, do something about it. If it's not, just keep away from him.

[MetallicAguy]

No, not really snoman. Touching is the biggest sign of flirting and attraction for approximately 12 centuries (alright that sounded nerdy lol).

[metallicachica247]

thanks guys... but my problem keeps occurring... im too chicken to go to the councilor i dont know why but i am

[IcyGirl]

I have had numerous teachers slap my butt and wink...One said he'd fail me if I didn't do as he said in his office at lunch...Another would come into the change room and watch us change then laugh if we wouldn't. Ive been groped up the skirt by a teacher. Teachers are not automatically mentors.

 

Just because they are a teacher, does NOT mean you just take it, let me make that very clear. Slap them if they do anything more than you are comfortable with! Don't go afterclass to a teacher alone, and if they request you at lunch, bring a friend. Threaten, and take action if they continue!

 

Metallicachica24/7, the teacher that tried to make me have sex with him started with what you describe. DO NOT allow yourself to get in a situation alone with him. Stop it now, tell him off. Just because he is a teacher, does NOT mean he is right and you have to do as ordered.

 

I have recently switched schools, and Im extremly happy to be out of my old school. Remember that is always an option, and that just because other people take it, doesn't mean you have to too.

 

Goodluck and I hope that this all turns out for not.

Sincerely, Icy

[smallworld]

It doesn't matter if he's "just" flirting. If it bothers you, you need to nip it in the bud.

 

Sexual harassers are like any other type of bully. The best way to stop harassment is to make it socially painful for him to keep harassing you.

 

Start small and keep escalating your distaste until he gets the point. For instance the next time he flirts or touches you, shoot him a dirty look. If he persists, shoot him another dirty look and say "I really don't appreciate it when you make those kinds of comments."

 

If he says "I'm only joking. Can't you take a joke?", say in a loud but firm voice "I don't find inappropriate jokes funny and would appreciate it if you told them to someone else."

 

If he puts his hands on you, purposely jerk your body away and look at him like he's crazy and WALK AWAY.

 

If he still won't stop harassing you, you no longer have to explain yourself. Just put on your best I'm-bored-to-death face, roll your eyes, and WALK AWAY. Keep doing this until the day he dies. The embarrassment in front of your classmates and other teachers should make him think twice about flirting with you again.

 

If all else fails or he messes with your grades, then go to the counselor. Make sure you've kept a record of everything he's said and done with dates, times, witnesses, and your responses. Tell them that you're not looking to have him fired. You just want the harassment to stop. That should do it. Good luck!

[ComputerGuy]

It is wrong for him to be touching you, and although it seems hard to do, you need to say to this teacher that you dont find it appropriate and that you want it to stop NOW. He may be a teacher, but he that does NOT mean he can do what he wants. He is still just another person doing something that is wrong and making you uncomfortable, so while Im not saying yell abuse at him, I AM saying be firm and use a tone that lets him know that you're not going to put up with his crap.

[girly_girl]

Hi, Metallicachica- This is a very important issue, because if you do not end this soon, something really bad could happen to you -like rape. Seriously i do NOT think you should try to talk to him yourself-you need to tell an adult about this right away. You are only 13, and I know it is hard to speak up for your self, i remember when i was your age. But you have to tell someone- think about how much you would regret it if this guy did something really bad to you. Take care of yourself first, you should trust your heart-if it makes you uncomfortable then it's unacceptable. From what you said it definitely sounds like this guy is acting very inappropriately. Not everyone in authority positions are good people, some are just pretending to be. Tell someone you trust now! Take care of yourself.