4 months of NC, ex texted me only to ignore me

[Sabrina918]

My ex and I were together for 7.5 months. The relationship was a lot of lust and excitement but we also matured together, I'm 28, and he's 40. We were both very loving and happy with one another though I do know one problem he had with me was that I wasn't as expressive as he. We spoke of kids, marriage, shared goals as that was our end game according to him but the relationship abruptly ended with him saying that me I don't seem happy in the relationship and he's working too much to make me happy.

 

I begged, pleaded, cried, to the tune of losing 20 pounds and weighing in at 105 lbs. the man who was once the most communicative and kind bf started texting me and responding In 4 day periods likely trying to show how busy he is. So we met up, he said we'd stay in touch because he loves me but my biological clock is ticking and I should date others because he can't give me marriage now and that was it. I begged, promised to change, the usual things a person with low self confidence does not realizing the problem was him.I saw a girl on his instagram followers 2 weeks later and noticed in her story that she's at his home. That night, the night before his 40th birthday I sent a message telling him I knew what's going on, I'm hurt, and that was it. He messaged me the next day with a ? And just "I guess you don't want to tell me". That was in august

 

Throughout this time he sometimes gave 1 word comments on my ig stories and suddenly sent me a new year text. I sent a response and he answered but when I asked for a bracelet of mine he had taken from me that holds sentimental value for me and I've had for 16 years I got no response. Why is that? Was I wrong to do that? I genuinely wanted it back and wanted to close this chapter once and for all but I go zero response. He even liked my ig photo this morning but nothing on the text.

 

I don't get him.

 

I feel like this situation alone has caused me to regress and I'm incredibly saddened by it. I'm hurt, angry, confused, yet also grateful I don't have him in my life. Any avoidance and guidance would be much appreciated.

[Clio]

It sounds like this guy doesn't want to marry you (or maybe he doesn't really want to marry anyone for that matter). If you are interested in marriage and having a family, then this guy is not it. Being busy is major bs. He just didn't want to commit any further so he moved on so as to set the clock back again. At 28 you have plenty of options among men who do wish to start a family but you need to stop wasting your valuable time on him. He is old enough to know exactly what he wants and you are not it. You need to stop analyzing his behaviour and stop wasting your time on him. Sadly things do fall apart at times burt often this is a blessing in disguise. Imo, it's best to consider the bracelet as 'collateral damage' and move on. That means blocking him on social media and stopping all contact.

[Sabrina918]

Thanks for the response. I agree with you. He doesn't want to marry and is a coward of excuses, I just don't get why he texted and said happy new year only to ignore me. I think he must still be upset over the birthday thing. Oh well. Good riddance.

[SweetGirl28]

I do hope he still has the bracelet! Maybe that's why he didn't answer, because it's gone?

[Sabrina918]

It could very well be although I say why doesn't he just say no. Why is he holding off or trying to keep me around. He could say no and it's the definitive end of us ever speaking again... his dream come true

[SweetGirl28]

It could very well be although I say why doesn't he just say no. Why is he holding off or trying to keep me around. He could say no and it's the definitive end of us ever speaking again... his dream come true

 

Right. He either doesn't know where it is, and doesn't want to say, or he holds it as ransom to

mind f*ck you. Either way it's a cruel game.

If you can accept the loss of it, all the more power to you. sorry he's being a jerk.

[figureitout23]

It could very well be although I say why doesn't he just say no. Why is he holding off or trying to keep me around. He could say no and it's the definitive end of us ever speaking again... his dream come true

 

Man...I don't think responders could be led more to give a specific answer if we were asked to read from a teleprompter...

 

The question is leading me to say ' he's doing it because she still cares and is trying to hold onto you.'

 

But reality isn't always so clear cut, could he have not responded to hold onto you, sure, he could have also not responded to he petty, or because he lost it, or he gave it away, or he likes having power over you, or he's calling your bluff and thinking, ' if it was that important why is she just now asking?' the reasons are numerous and unfortunately only he knows.

 

None of these reasons screams happy healthy reconciliation and relationship unfortunately. If he knows it's important to you, he should have given it back to you when you first broke up.

[Sabrina918]

I'm just so lost. It wasn't a normal break up, and I think he's just butt hurt I didn't give him a nasty reply as the situation warranted after all that went down and his being with another girl .

 

I feel like we're both at the point where we've moved on and could just once and for all finish it. I don't like this lingering and I know that he knows I valued that bracelet , I wore it for 14 years daily and wanted to wear it for my dental boards but he didn't let me. I think he just wants to punish me and have an upper hand. its a tough reality to accept but I guess it's time . Thanks all for your wisdom and kindness