Not sure what to do

[Queenquey]

Me and my boyfriend previously dated for 5 years we broke up and got back together 4 years later. We always had chemistry and the love just never died. Since we have been back together things are going awesome we moved in together even talked about getting married and starting a family. I've expressed to him times that i want to start having kids. I found out I was pregnant and things took a complete turn. He cursed me out told me i only got back with him to ruin his life and I'm trying to bring him down. I am truly heart broken shocked and really feeling like i should just leave.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. How old is is he? Are you both working? Let things settle down and discuss calmly why he's not ready to start a family.

Since we have been back together things are going awesome we moved in together. I found out I was pregnant and things took a complete turn. He cursed me out told me i only got back with him to ruin his life and I'm trying to bring him down.

[Young mind]

Seek professional advise! A psychologist or counselor.

[figureitout23]

It may just be the shock of it, although it's no excuse, unless you were poking holes in the condom or lied about your birth control he's a grown man and knows what sexual intercourse can lead to. Don't let him put all the 'blame' on you but also recognize a child will never keep a man and if he doesn't want to continue with you unfortunately you should prepare to be a single mother, get your ducks in a row and be prepared to file for child support, you didn't make your baby on your own.

[katrina1980]

 

He cursed me out told me i only got back with him to ruin his life and I'm trying to bring him down. I am truly heart broken shocked and really feeling like i should just leave.

 

When your bf curses you out, accuses you of ruining his life and bringing him down, for any reason, let alone because you just advised him you are carrying his baby, which he helped conceive by the way, I'm sorry, no you don't wait for things to "calm down" so you can discuss it more rationally or anything else, you pack your bags and get the hell out of there immediately.

 

Yes it is heartbreaking to leave, but this is a form of emotional abuse and will only get worse as time goes on, please trust me on that.

[Queenquey]

He's 27 and I'm 26. After he said all these negative things about me he said ill be here for you but those negative comments still stick in my head

[Queenquey]

I couldnt agree more the things he said to me just ripped through my flesh and he just expects for me to be like oh things happen

[shessofly]

What was his response when you told him you wanted to start making babies?

[figureitout23]

He's 27 and I'm 26. After he said all these negative things about me he said ill be here for you but those negative comments still stick in my head

 

I couldnt agree more the things he said to me just ripped through my flesh and he just expects for me to be like oh things happen

 

Again not excusing his words, but if it was in the heat of the moment and he is otherwise a good partner, I'd think twice about walking away from the father of my child and choosing a life of single parenthood because of words. What he said was wrong, is it worthy of ending your relationship? Meh...

 

I guess the question is, is this the type of guy he is? Do you believe he will be a deadbeat father, do you think he may become verbally abusive? Physically abusive? Was this a one time thing? What kind of man is he? You know the answer deep down. Be honest with yourself.

 

Think carefully about this, you have to live the next 18 years with your choice.

[catfeeder]

I can only speak for myself, and I wouldn't be able to remain in the home of someone who said those things to me.

 

I'd tell him that if he ever feels differently he can let me know, but otherwise, I wish him the best, and I'd be gone. I'd seek legal advice, and I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this and create a fantastic life for myself and baby.

 

Did the two of you ever work out the reasons for your initial breakup? If not, I'd consider those to be the driving factors behind this breakup, and I wouldn't consider reconciling with this guy without resolving those along with any problems the guy has has currently.