My girlfriend is angry and pushes me away all the time....

[Dai]

Ive never posted anything like this before , but im in a situation that i feel i cannot get out of and to be honest i really need help

 

6 months ago , i met a wonderful girl , and it really was love at first site for both of us , which surprised me as ive pretty much always been on my own out of choice , and due to childhood abuse i had never really been able to connect with anyone on that level and have that sort of feeling . The problem was she was with somebody else and i quickly discovered that he had been very badly abusing her both physically and emotionally for about 18 months , and nobody would help her , not even her family , i couldn't live a normal life knowing she was going through that ,her fear drove me to move 4 hours drive away to basically save her , to make sure she was safe from this , so i spent the next 2 months in harms way , dealing with everything that goes with such a situation and trying to be the best man i could possibly be , with the end result being a court order meaning he cannot come within 500 meters of her

 

It was shortly after this was over that she said she needed space , and although i was a bit hurt at being pushed away i understood , so i went home .

It was after this that she started to push me away and contact got less although she still maintained that she loved me and wanted to be with me ...., she then started to really try to push me away by being quite nasty , i stuck with it though and tried to be understanding , caring and loving although i was very hurt

 

And then 3 weeks ago she started being the person i had met again , i was happy , i could see a light at the end of the tunnel and things were going to be ok , and then i found out she had been seeing someone else , all the while telling me i was the one she wanted to be with ( and was with ) , i found out from his GF . I realise that in the end that she chose me , but my trust in her is not good at the moment , she has lied and cheated , and is now back to being angry again and pushing me away , even though i quickly forgave her and all i have done is love and care for her , and being a good man TBH is kind of my thing , i really work hard at it , maybe too hard

 

i probably havent articulated this well enough , but its the basics ....

[smackie9]

The White Knight Syndrome

 

White knights are men and women who enter into romantic relationships with damaged and vulnerable partners, hoping that love will transform their partner's behavior or life. Though most white knights feel that they are selfless and sacrificing, their rescuing behavior is often misguided. Problems arise when white knights care for their partners at the expense of their own needs, encounter destructive behavior......

 

You are in a unhealthy relationship. This is no way to get a GF. She has her issues that she needs to work on herself. You can't save her.

[DanZee]

I think I got the basics. She actually moved in with you to an apartment 4 hours from where you both lived to get away from the abusive boyfriend. But then she changed.

 

I hate to say it, but I think she may have just used you to get away from the boyfriend. And I think you may be seeing that she may be bipolar or an abuser herself! You may have thought you were helping her, but she may have been helping herself by playing on your good will.

 

I think you're stuck in a situation where she is controlling and manipulating you through her nasty behavior with an occasional period of being lovey-dovey just to keep you on the hook. How else could you accept the fact that she's cheating on you? Now she may be copying the behavior she saw with her boyfriend, but this puts you in the position of victim again.

 

For your own sanity, I think it's time that you told her that she needs to be on her own and you have to stop supporting her (you didn't say if she's working and supporting herself). Your heart was in the right place, but I think you got played.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened, she sounds quite confused and chaotic. Agree, your knight in shining armor is overtaking reason:

I i really work hard at it , maybe too hard