Did my ex girlfriend deserve to be blocked on everything after what she did?

[dferrer]

I need to share my story and see the point of view of other people. It's been more than 3 monthes since I blocked my ex girlfriend on everyting (whats app, facebook, instagram...) because I was feeling misstreated, and from my point of view, she deserved to be blocked. But I feel a bit guilty and sometimes I think if I exaggerated her behaivour and in fact she was not that bad. This is why I want to share my story and see if other people also think that blocking her was actually the right decision because she deserved it.

 

I will try to make of this long story short, but I will try to do not forget any detail.

 

My ex girlfriend dumped me at the end of January of this year (2017), to sum up, I was not like I used to be and I had become boring and uninteresting. We agreed on stay friends and one month and a half after the breakup, she came back apologizing and saying me that she was really sorry and that she had made a big mistake dumping me. So I decided to forgive her and try to work out the relationship.

 

We were "trying to get back together" for two monthes, but things were not going as expected. After she came back apologizing, she adopted a negative attitude. She was getting angry for the most small things, everytime I wanted to talk with her to try to slove this, she would go defensive and angry, and refusing to communicate. Why on earth she will come back apologizing if she is not willing to put effort in the relationship? Just getting angry all the time and refusing to communicate? I don't get the point. I felt as she came back just to bring more pain to me.

 

Finally after two monthes, I managed to have a serious talk with her. I told her that things will never work if she has this attitude where no communication exists in the relationship. She told me that she was not sure of getting back together, but that I was totally right, that she was sorry for not willing to communicate and she promised me that from that point she will talk more openly with me.

 

But she did the totally opposite. After promising this, she became very distant. Stopped contacting everyday as we used to do. She started to cancel meeting on the last minute and this kind of stuff. Here is where the true nightmare started because a strange cycle started. If I initiated contact, she would respond with short answers and ending the conversation fast. But if I did not initiate contact, she would tell that she was missing me or that she loved me. Also she was doing strange things like contacting me and then dissappearing.

 

After this, one day she contacts me and ask for a meeting, but on the last moment she cancelled. I confronted her and asked why she wanted to meet, she said "I miss you, I want to be friends". I told her that she was acting very bad towards me, and that I could not trust her because her actions did not match her words. She apologized and asked if I could please let her fix her mistake. I told her that yes, I can let her to fix it, but that she had to show me with actions that I can trust her again.

 

Well after this talk, she dissappeared for 1 week without contacting, and then contacted me to tell me "If I don't initiate contact, you never do it!!!" This felt really bad, if this was her way of fixing things, she was doing great and putting a lot of effort. When she told me this I felt like she was expecting me to be the one who had to fix things between us, when it was she the one acting mean.

 

At this point I was never initiating contact to her or anything because I felt really disappointed. She apologized and asked for a chance to fix things but then she was blaming me for not contacting, when she was the one who is supposed to do an effort.

 

So here the same cycle as before repeated, but this time a bit different. I was never initiating contact and she was initiating contact once a week. But it was pointless contact, and she contacted to dissappear later on.

 

One day she asked if I was angry, i told her that I was dissappointed. She told me she was dissappointed because i was never initiating contact. I asked for a meeting to talk in person. This time she didn't cancel and we met. I told her everything, how I have felt because the way she was behaving. She apologized and told me that she had paid with me other issues that she had, that she was really sorry and so on. it was the same talk we had before but this time in person.

 

After this, she became nice and she did a small effort to fix things, but this effort was very small. She contacted in a nicer way for some days and she asked for a meeting. But this behaivour change lasted for only one week, because after that she dissappeared again and started to act cold again.

 

And we arrive to the end of the story. At this point I was in pain, feeling angry and disappointed at the same time because she always was saying sorry and saying good things, but then her actions were the totally opposite. So after this, what happened made me explote and block her from everything because i was feeling like I was being fooled and played.

 

I remember sending her a happy birthay message and she responded two days late. Then after some days, she contacted me and I responded her a few hours late because I was bussy. She ignored my response just to contact me the next day and said "You do not contact me anymore, i delete your number". I told her "hey, I did contact but you did not respond". She said "because you responded 1000 hours late". This made me feel a lot of anger because she can dely her responses from my happy birthday message for two days, but i can't dely a response for a few hours without getting blame. After this she said "You don't love me anymore Don't you miss me?" I told her "Yes, I miss you" and then she changed the subject of the conversation and ended it quickly.

 

At this point I have had enought. I really felt she was dissrrespecting me, playing with me, not taking me seriously, and blaming me for the same things she was doing to me. So this is the last conversation we had because after this I blocked her.

 

She sent me an email asking why I blocked, and I responded telling her the truth about how she was treating me. She did not respond the email.

 

A month after the blocking I met her by coincidence at a party. She asked if I was angry. I told her that in the email it's everything explained, that I did not want to lose more time on her. She told me that she did not understand the email, but that she respects my decision. Since then, we've not talked again or seen each other again.

 

So I want to know. Does she deserves blocking? Was her behaivour normal at all? Or it's me being crazy? Did I do something bad to deserve this kind of treatment?

 

I've been friends with all my exes and maintained very good relationships post breakup all the time. But with this last ex, it has not been possible because she acted very bad from my point of view. So what you think? Did I the right thing?

[Young mind]

Sorry mate you’re dealing with a ‘kid’, you’ve repeatedly stood up to her and I can’t remember how many times I have read the words “you spoke to her about how she was treating you”.

You have to take the bold step and try to move on, it might be hard but you’re dealing with someone who loves these little immature games, she has shown you repeatedly and you have to take it like a slap in the face, yes she might miss you but I think she just loves the attention and can see how much you keep begging her to treat you well.

No one has that power over you mate, no one, you don’t need to keep begging and pleading with her to change and treat you well , it won’t happen, let her be, try to make yourself happy and do your activities.

Yes it was a perfect idea to block her, don’t look back!

Cheers

[SweetGirl28]

Yes you did the right thing.

Do not feel guilty.

She wanted you to give all your attention with very little effort of her part.

She sounds as if she has a princess mentality that if you don't cater to her every second, she becomes

defensive and retreats. Certainly not the makings of a healthy relationship.

[glitterfingers]

It sounds like you blocked her out of anger, which was a bit harsh. Yet I think you did actually do the right thing (mostly) because this relationship got really toxic and draining for both of you.

 

The only thing I would change is in the future, have a talk with her when you recognise that things haven't been working out, tell her you care for her but you think you should both go your separate ways. And then cease contact. You don't have to block, but you may unfriend and stop responding.

 

So, I think you could have broken up more amicably (or at least tried to)