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Pursue a second date.


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I recently matched a girl on tinder & we chatted for a couple of weeks. We then agreed to go out for dinner. I had a really nice time on the date. I texted her to tell her this & she responded by saying:


“Hiya thank you so much, I had a great time. Was really lovely meeting you. You're a real gent”


I then asked her if she’d like to go out again & she responded with:


“I think we’re better as friends?”


I was disappointed with this but I told her I respected her decision. I really enjoyed this girls company & I thought the date went good. I am a shy person & there was a small bit of first date tension at first but as the date went on it went away.


I would really like to go on a second date with this girl & I haven’t spoken to her since but I don’t want to plague her or appear like a creep trying to convince her to go out with me again.


I really appreciate some advice on this?




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If you have to convince someone to go out with you, she is not the right one. OLD is upsetting. I went through it for several years. Sometimes I didn't feel chemistry and had to hurt the guy's feelings. Sometimes I found a guy to my liking and I wasn't his cup of tea. You have to think about the odds. It's rarer that both of you will feel the chemistry and over time, see that you are very compatible and all the boxes are ticked. I had to go on dates with 30 men before I found my future husband.


No, don't contact this girl again. There are plenty of pretty, fun women out there. Keep going until you find the one that wants to stick around for more.

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Unfortunately she was very clear with you that she isn't interested in dating you, so please do not ask her again. She was very kind and polite in turning you down, so please don't punish her kindness by disregarding her message and pushing for more anyway.


That's really the challenge of dating via OLD. Until you meet face to face, you really have no idea if there will be romantic chemistry there or not. Most of the time, it just isn't there. Having a nice date just means that you are both socially adept, but that's about it. That's why most people will stick to a simple coffee meet and greet rather than a full out date for that first time. The meet and greet is really there to see if real life chemistry is mutually present and so whether you should or shouldn't proceed to an actual date. It's a little bit less invested, so when you don't match up, it's kind of easier to let go and move on with other meets and dates.

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