Feeling a cold sore coming... do I postpone date, or just be honest and let her make decision?

[TrueBlue631]

Like the title says, I feel the start of a cold sore coming along on my lip, and my date and I just broke through to kissing on our date(s).

 

I really want to see her again, but definately don't want to infect her. I certainly don't want to deceive her as well but afraid that it might be a turn off or deal breaker.

 

I get them very rarely, but it sucks their happening at this stage in the process of the dating (3 weeks into dating).

 

What do you guys recommend? Invite her to dinner (which was my plan), but let her know after (or during if necessary) that I have this coming, and to not expect kissing? Or postpone the date altogether telling her that's the reason?

 

I'd prefer NOT to lie and tell her something came up, as that might give the wrong impression that I'm not interested.

[Griffey]

How long does a cold sore last? I'd probably reschedule the date to be honest. But if you don't think she's totally into you and rescheduling the date means you could lose her, I'd probably text her "hey, I'm excited for tonight but I have a cold. Gonna tough it out but if you feel that you don't wanna get sick let me know and we can reschedule. Totally up to you."

 

Edit: This being because I think it's too soon to be like hey we can't make out tonight bc I have a cold sore. 1) cold sores are gross 2) you're assuming you are gonna make out to her verbally and sound like an ass.

[TrueBlue631]

Well, I don't have the date set yet I was going to ask for tomorrow or Thursday. I'd still have it by then. She's working this weekend so I won't get the chance to see her then.

[Griffey]

Well, I don't have the date set yet I was going to ask for tomorrow or Thursday. I'd still have it by then. She's working this weekend so I won't get the chance to see her then.

 

Oh so then it's a no-brainer, just ask her out for Monday or Tuesday when the sore is going to go away.

[reinventmyself]

Well, I don't have the date set yet I was going to ask for tomorrow or Thursday. I'd still have it by then. She's working this weekend so I won't get the chance to see her then.

 

Tell her you aren't feeling well. (pretty much a half truth seeing it's a virus and all) and schedule now for a later date.

 

Or. . this could be a beta test of sorts. If you have outbreaks often, you'll cross this bridge eventually. She might respect that you told her upfront and first and foremost was concerned about her welfare. Have a good date and promise you'll make it up to her when you see her again. She'll trust that you'll be responsible about it going forward.

 

My best friend gets them. She currently has a pretty bad one going on. Yet, she went to Christmas party over the weekend and the host asked her out on a date for tonight, cold sore and all.

[Griffey]

I don't understand why he has to even let her know right now, or has to ask her out to dinner for Wednesday or Thursday. When was the last time you saw this girl? Just text her asking her out for Tuesday of next week. She's not your GF why do you have to see her tomorrow? You really think she's gonna ask "why can't I see you sooner?" If she does then you already have her bro and tell her "I wanna see you too I just can't until Tuesday."

[Hollyj]

I would not be happy if my date canceled due to a cold sore. You simply don't kiss her.

 

Tell her on the date, not before. You're making too big of a deal out of this.

[Hollyj]

Well, I don't have the date set yet I was going to ask for tomorrow or Thursday. I'd still have it by then. She's working this weekend so I won't get the chance to see her then.

 

My issue, you don't give your dates much notice. You ask your dates out the day before??? This I would not be cool with, if I just started dating someone.

[TrueBlue631]

I would not be happy if my date canceled due to a cold sore. You simply don't kiss her.

 

Tell her on the date, not before. You're making too big of a deal out of this.

 

Thanks Holly. I appreciate the feedback from a feminine perspective. This is the first time I've been "dating" since first getting cold sores (I think I got it from my previous GF), so I'm not sure how they're received by others when dating. I'll take your advice and try not to worry too much.

 

My issue, you don't give your dates much notice. You ask your dates out ye day before??? This I would not be cool with, if I just started dating someone.

 

I agree, the notice is a little close. The only reason is that her job demands a crazy schedule, so it's tough to plan far ahead.

But I appreciate your advice and will read into the situation next time I talk with her.

[Hollyj]

I would feel that you were really interested if you were asking much earlier. Also, it assumes not much is happening in her life.

 

The cold sore: asking her out when there is breakout shows that you really want to see her, and expect no action. I would appreciate that.

 

Good luck!

[boltnrun]

Isn't there some medication you can take that will shorten how long the cold sore lasts? I think it's called Abreva. Says it will make it go away in something like 3 days.

[Mamzi]

Just be honest with her; tell her you would like to have date with her this week but you are not feeling well and do not want to be contiguous and make her sick so you offer to meet next week. If she is reasonable, she should not get upset and it should not be a turn off. In fact, she would be happy that you care.

[figureitout23]

I would feel that you were really interested if you were asking much earlier. Also, it assumes not much is happening in her life.

 

The cold sore: asking her out when there is breakout shows that you really want to see her, and expect no action. I would appreciate that.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Im gonna go out on a limb and risk sounding vain and said I disagree wholeheartedly here.

 

It's too soon. 3 months in? yeah, 3 weeks? People's superficial judgment meters are still super high at this point, especially with online dating making everyone's options so plentiful.

 

Im not gonna lie if I show up to a third date with a guy who already kinda over eager and he has a cold sore? Let's just say there had better be a great connection happening.

 

Yes I realize it's vain to say but it's also the brutal honest truth about how it is out there dating in the real world and I'm not going to lie to you just to be nice. It's too much of a risk this early and there's literally no reason to rush this date, it isn't even planned yet. This is a no brainer in my eyes, wait it out.

[Griffey]

Im gonna go out on a limb and risk sounding vain and said I disagree wholeheartedly here.

 

It's too soon. 3 months in? yeah, 3 weeks? People's superficial judgment meters are still super high at this point, especially with online dating making everyone's options so plentiful.

 

Im not gonna lie if I show up to a third date with a guy who already kinda over eager and he has a cold sore? Let's just say there had better be a great connection happening.

 

Yes I realize it's vain to say but it's also the brutal honest truth about how it is out there dating in the real world and I'm not going to lie to you just to be nice. It's too much of a risk this early and there's literally no reason to rush this date, it isn't even planned yet. This is a no brainer in my eyes, wait it out.

 

Agreed. If you like the girl, wait until the cold sore is gone to see her again. Simple.

[Hollyj]

Im gonna go out on a limb and risk sounding vain and said I disagree wholeheartedly here.

 

It's too soon. 3 months in? yeah, 3 weeks? People's superficial judgment meters are still super high at this point, especially with online dating making everyone's options so plentiful.

 

Im not gonna lie if I show up to a third date with a guy who already kinda over eager and he has a cold sore? Let's just say there had better be a great connection happening.

 

Yes I realize it's vain to say but it's also the brutal honest truth about how it is out there dating in the real world and I'm not going to lie to you just to be nice. It's too much of a risk this early and there's literally no reason to rush this date, it isn't even planned yet. This is a no brainer in my eyes, wait it out.

 

I wrote that, because I used to get the damn things a lot. So, maybe my attitude is different.

 

I went out on a second date with a guy with a coldsore, and I wasn't repulsed. We continued dating. If someone is so thrown off by a stupid cold sore, then they are not worth dating.

 

I am in the minority, here.