The "LIES"

[Elavohra]

Hey guys! How have you been all?

I have been feeling sad and this sadness comes in waves. Actually, in the past I have had lied. And I don't know why! I have lied about that I had been twice merit out. But the fact is I hadn't clear even it's first phase exam. The thing is- I hate for lying. I feel bad and regret about it. I don't want to go and confess to those people that I had lied to you guys. It just I am already embarrassed about it. Of course, I am not going to lie like this again. Because already this uneasiness and guilt is enough to kill my peace of my mind and make me realise my mistakes. I don't lie much now. I always try to save myself from any situation which may force me to lie.

 

Facts about me:

I am unemployed. And friends of my age and even juniors are employed. I am embarrassed about it.

I have not yet cleared a single competitive exams.

I used to be an overconfident personality. Thought could clear any exam but this is not the case now.

Current changes:

I am not engaging myself with many people now. Try to be as low key as possible.

 

Since the breakup( was being dumped), I have got to know about the many flaws in myself. So not that confident anymore. Working on self esteem.

 

Going to coaching classes for competitive exams. Study and keep myself away from friends because don't know why I am loving solitude. And feel that it's far better than being with people rather then me unknowingly end up making mistakes, later regretting it. And introspection kills me. This is why I like to hide myself from everyone.

 

Questions are: How can I stop feeling bad about the lies I have lied. How can I believe that I can change and future can be beautiful.

[dias]

Lying to a forum with strangers is like lying to yourself.

 

First things first. You need to learn to cope with reality, don't create an imaginary world. Get professional help if that's needed.

 

Is it necessary to pass these specific exams? Can you get a job in another field?

 

Actions determine our future. Be practical. Set small goals and don't give up until you achieve them. Don't set any other goals simultaneously. One step at a time.

[Elavohra]

Lying to a forum with strangers is like lying to yourself.

 

First things first. You need to learn to cope with reality, don't create an imaginary world. Get professional help if that's needed.

 

Is it necessary to pass these specific exams? Can you get a job in another field?

 

Actions determine our future. Be practical. Set small goals and don't give up until you achieve them. Don't set any other goals simultaneously. One step at a time.

 

Didn't lie to a forum with strangers. It's just I am confessing things here. I know my mistakes and it isn't like I am not working upon it. And yes, it's mandatory to clear these exams. Plus, thank you so much. I am doing the same thing that you've suggested.

[DancingFool]

Well....Elavohra welcome to humanity. Turns out you are flawed just like the rest of us. What are you getting out of this self flagellation? Serious question to ask yourself and perhaps figuring out the answer to that will help you heal and move forward.

[Elavohra]

Well....Elavohra welcome to humanity. Turns out you are flawed just like the rest of us. What are you getting out of this self flagellation? Serious question to ask yourself and perhaps figuring out the answer to that will help you heal and move forward.

 

I am indeed moving forward. In fact, I don't know how but I have begun to see changes in myself. I am very focused towards my exams. Talk less and laugh more. Stay away from people I have lied to. Not lying anymore. Either I keep my mouth shut or talk on main topics. Beginning to live in solitude. Mind my own business. Making my life more disciplined. And PATIENCE, my past mistakes is teaching me to have patience all the time for all the things. These changes are coming automatically.

But sometimes, past mistakes make me feel very bad and sad. I get the urge to rectify them, to erase them!

[Pleasedonot5]

Come clean. Tell the truth. It won't bother other people as much as it has been bothering you.