BlackCountry Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Hi everyone I'm looking for advice/thoughts on a strange thing that's been bugging me for a few days regarding a new(ish) and seemingly good friend. It's a complicated one so I'll start at the beginning. I'm a driving instructor, have been for nearly twenty years (I'm 42). Normally, when folk pass their driving tests, they get a friendly "well done" and "drive safely." I occassionally stay in touch with ex-pupils on Facebook, but beyond that there's usually no further communication unless they come back to me because they know someone who wants to learn to drive. In March this year I started teaching a lady who passed her test a week and a half ago. As our professional relationship developed we became good friends, though around six weeks ago I realised I'd started to develop feelings for her. We've both been married for ten years and both have children. She's 12 years younger than me. We agreed to stay in touch after she passed her test and met for coffee a few days back. She gave me a lovely present and card to say thank you. In the card she'd written a lovely poem, four verses, as well as a touching thank you note. The poem was gorgeous; I had a lump in my throat reading it. I read it privately, after we'd met, and messaged her later to say thank you, and how much the poem meant to me, her thought and time and consideration. She replied it came from the heart, that she didn't know how I'd react, and was glad I liked it. Now I'm into poetry and writing generally, have been a good while, and something didn't quite sit right. I wondered if she'd actually written the poem as her use of language in conversation didn't quite match the lovely verses. I felt guilty at thinking like this but decided to google the opening lines of the poem. Before I did that I asked her if she fancied attending a "poetry for parents" class. She said she'd love to but couldn't; the evening classes make it impossible for her to attend because of her children. Her husband works nights and so that made sense. When she messaged me that she couldn't attend, she did so with regret. She said she'd love to do something like that, and that she'd written poetry since school and still does so now. On googling the poem from my card it popped up online pretty quickly. I was disappointed, being a writer, that she'd told me it came from the heart when it hadn't. So why did she do this? To impress somebody she already knew was into poetry/writing? Embarrassment? Further, I'm wondering now if she's being honest about writing poetry since school. If she is (being honest) then she'd know not to pass that work off as her own. Which suggests perhaps that she's not being truthful about this love of poetry, which begs the question: why tell me she is? Is she trying to impress me. If she is I'm flattered, but also confused. If she has feelings for me in the way I have for her...but she's trying in some way to communicate this by fibbing... Confused. Lots. Thanks for reading. And yes, I know, we're both married, so all of this is pretty wrong...but it's difficult to control that funny thing we call our heart. My emotions have been all over the place recently, as has my head. She's had a pretty big impact on me, unlike nobody has for more than twenty years. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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