When do you stop asking why????

[Wimpy]

and stop aching inside thinking of the good times you had that meant so much to YOU but obviously not as much to him?

 

I'm constantly reminded of things everywhere I go - things I see, think, smell, taste....it's killing me. I thought what we had meant something and nothing could prepare me for how hurt I've felt at how it ended. It's okay for him - he's back in his home country with no memories of me around him - I was supposed to be going to meet his family etc but 10 days before I travelled he dumped me in an e-mail but still wanted me to come as a "friend".....

 

I wish I could stop thinking of the fun we had - it's making this so horrible and tough.

 

It's been 16 days since that e-mail .... when will I ever feel better?

 

I'm in my mid-30's and thinking "what if I never meet someone I love that much again"?

[misery12]

I am not that big of an expert, but I can see that if he breaks up with you, in an email, that doesn't show too much love. He probably did love you at some point in the relationship, but if he is willing to end it this way, those feelings are gone now, I'm guessing. Break-ups are always hard, but you will get over it, and it's nice to know that he is still inviting you as a friend. It shows that he does care about your feelings. You shouldn't stress over this too much, if he isn't going to contribute to the relationship anymore, you shouldn't have to either. I say take up his friend offer, you may even get back together. It's worth a shot.

 

Hope this helps.

[tarheelfan]

Damn Wimpy. I thought I was the ONLY person on the planet who has ever gotten a "Dear John Email". Crap. It sux doesn't it? We were together 2 years and built our lives around each other. We were even looking for a home. You and I deserve MUCH better than that.

 

All I can say to help is this (and I am only slightly farther along than you... 21 days). If they didn't have enough respect for us to sit down and say it to our faces? Well... that says A LOT. I have to feel in my heart of hearts that they DO or someday WILL regret it. At least being so cold about it.

 

I think the above poster is right about them loving us at one time... but somewhere, somehow, it died. If he offered to be friends with you that's great... but it seems a little soon. Friends talking about what's happening in their lives. Friends don't place limits on the conversation. For me at least, I have ZERO desire to hear about anyone "new" in her life. I'm not ready to be just friends. Best of luck, FRIEND!

[passions1]

When somebody breaks up via email, I think that person is a coward & lacks respect for the other person. That happened to me as well, but I would not keep in touch with the guy. If he couldn't possibly call you at least to tell you, then he doesn't deserve your time of day. Even "friends" don't treat e/o that way, so I doubt he can be a good friend to you compared to your other friends! Chin up & be open minded later on in the future to dating other men to realize what kind of guy you truly deserve to treat you good & with respect! I am with a great guy now, but I did go through the whole dating scene which was fun as well so I can figure out about myself at the same time. Spend time with yourself, friends/family. Just take your ex as a learning experience. Time is what you need to heal & having the OPEN mind to move forward & not dwelling on in the past.

[Armyguy3682003]

I went through the same thing you did. I ask myself still to this day, what happened between me and my ex? I think of her everyday and I know she doesnt think of me as much anymore. Time will mend all broken hearts, I know that it wont seem like it will, but it will. I am getting better everyday and spend less time thinking of her. I still talk to her which helps me, knowing that I am not totally out of her life. But on the other hand, I try to see her and feel she doesnt want to see me as much because she has a new boyfriend. So, I still feel hurt on certain days. I think about just saying goodbye and leaving, friends or not to be friends.

[varactor]

i got a four page letter , and i was terribly in love. but when i thought about it, how could this person who i loved so much and did so much for have the nerve to write me a letter, she couldnt at least do it to my face. initally it was such a system shock, we were living togther and everything. but then i realized, that its not what i had lost that matterd, but what i had gained, a great experience with a great person, but not my future. dont ask why, becasue ultimatley it wasnt you, learn from the mistakes of this relationship and apply them to future ones. use this time now to become happy with yourself

[sweetione]

I was broken up by text message after a year of dating.

 

We have now been broken up a year.

It still hurts. Maybe it will always hurt.

But after awhile the why doesn't matter.

For whatever reason, they didn't want to be in a relationship with us.

You just have to learn how to pick yourself off the ground.

Maybe someday, they will know what a mistake they made.

Maybe they will be kicked to the curb by someone and get a dose of their own medicine.

 

Believe me it is hard. It hurts. But when we find the right person for us, we will look back on this and thank the loser for being a loser!

 

Just my opinion.