Ex Who Broke Up with Me Wants to Try Again

[Lkmon]

I posted on this site about the breakup a day ago (we only broke up two days ago) and he contacted me yesterday telling me he missed me basically and wanted to try our long distance relationship again differently. Basically we were trying to see each other every week and it was getting hard for him the pressure of having to fit it in even if he was busy. I don't know what to do because he really hurt me when he broke up with me and basically told me he couldn't see marrying me so why keep going. But at the same time I still love him and believe people can make mistakes, and don't want to look back on this and always think "what it?" or have regrets.

 

We're giving each other some time to think about it. What's your advice?

[Keyman]

Often the desire to get back together just after the break up is a difficulty dealing with the change associated with the breakup. Relationships can be like addictions. When you break up, the body goes through withdrawal, and this can cause someone to backtrack or look for the easiest way to deal with it. Just like someone quickly deciding to get under some other guy to help 'get over' a breakup. I still don't understand why people think this is a good idea.

 

Perhaps he had a depressive episode just before the breakup which led him to throw it away, as LDR is not easy. This is more common than you think for young people at separate Unis. It is often why high school relationships usually break up as the pair go to separate tertiary institutions.

 

Love isn't everything. If you want to give it another try with him, then by all means. But go into it being wary. Something caused this to happen, likely the stress of study and distance. These things are not going to change, so how are you two going to be able to keep it together with the additional worry that it might just happen again.

 

My main advice would be not to rush back into things. Think about the positives and negatives of LDR and the added stress it places on young relationships.

[SweetGirl28]

Given your story, I would keep eyes wide open as to his intentions.

This is a fresh breakup, however given how he broke up with you, he had put

thought into it already and was already emotionally distancing himself from you.

 

His reason for regret now is most likely due to him not wanting you with anyone else, and

that he hasn't had time to be away and process things.

The distance will still be a factor, and you are both young.

It's your decision whether to trust he will keep his word however I foresee another breakup in the

near future if you just say okay to this. But good luck, I hope this works out for you.

[No1]

I can see why you are asking 'what if' and also asking if this is a good move to get back together. Maybe he did see the error of his ways but in the two days what changed? Does he want to marry you all of a sudden? Have you two moved closer? Has he given you priority over his video games? I fear that you let him back easy without having him work for you. As SweetGirl said you have to be thinking about his intentions.

I would have him work for you. First time was a free-bee. Now, if he wants to be with you then let him show you he means it. Because if you take him back then he has no incentive to change. And Ill be honest.. effort can weed out intent. Meaning that if a guy really wants to be with you, he will do what it takes. But if its an act then effort will dwindle and all youll have is words.

Good Luck to you