Ex problems

[Lozza1986]

Hello, so my ex who I was with for 5 years broke up with me July just gone. Much to my suprise! She did this via text ( never had the guts to sit me down ) I was devastated and only recently have turned a new corner and the healing is getting better. She wanted to remain friends but I found out she broke up with me and went off with someone else straight away which broke my heart even more so I’ve accepted she’s gone and have been doing no contact for ages now, except I will get messages from her asking me when is she going to see me and she misses me and she has all our pictures we made and looks at them and smiles. And then I get the random ones asking me if I want my coat back etc. She knows how badly she treated me but still try’s to act all friendly. I don’t understand why she keeps texting me to see how I am and saying she misses me. She badly wants to see me but I can’t forgive her. she is still with the same person she left me for so why don’t she just get on with it and stop looking for any excuse to message me!!

 

Does she secretly want me back or is she just wanting to be a friend? Ether way I’m jus confused. I can’t go back to being friends... it would not work.

[Isitme2012]

I think you just need to tell her straight that friends won't work, as her contacting you will prevent you from moving on... it could be a case of she doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you...

[SweetGirl28]

Doesn't appear as if she wants to be friends nor want you back.

What I would bet she does want is to keep you on the back burner in case this relationship

doesn't work out for her. She wants you as her safety net.

Move forward, after 5 years you most certainly deserved more than a break up by text.

That is so impersonal. I'm sorry.

[Lozza1986]

Thank you for replying. I am not sure of her intentions but the whole back burner thought crosses my mind every single time. I kid you not she dumped me and 2 weeks later she’s with someone else, but of course I’m supposed to be fine with that! It’s really a hard situation because she meant the world to me so letting go has been awful, but at the same time I won’t be walked all over so I’ve kept my distant now for 4 months, I have not seen her once and every message is always started by her. I definitely do not need my coat back and she knows this as it’s way too big for me now... it’s just another message to contact me to see how i am. I’ve told her it’s going to be so hard being friends so she knows this and to be honest I thought the hint might be there with all of that as I’ve kept my distance. I think all of it’s due to her feeling guilty which is creeping up upon her. I’m trying to get on with life. No where near wanting to date anyone.... I’m learning to love myself after everything.

[SweetGirl28]

Thank you for replying. I am not sure of her intentions but the whole back burner thought crosses my mind every single time. I kid you not she dumped me and 2 weeks later she’s with someone else, but of course I’m supposed to be fine with that! It’s really a hard situation because she meant the world to me so letting go has been awful, but at the same time I won’t be walked all over so I’ve kept my distant now for 4 months, I have not seen her once and every message is always started by her. I definitely do not need my coat back and she knows this as it’s way too big for me now... it’s just another message to contact me to see how i am. I’ve told her it’s going to be so hard being friends so she knows this and to be honest I thought the hint might be there with all of that as I’ve kept my distance. I think all of it’s due to her feeling guilty which is creeping up upon her. I’m trying to get on with life. No where near wanting to date anyone.... I’m learning to love myself after everything.

 

That's the spirit! You're on a good path, stick to it.

You can't be friends until you feel indifferent, meaning no love, no hate, nada. You can take or leave her.

And by then, you'll be over her. Self love, respect, these are crucial for being strong and getting thru this.

You'll date when you're ready, 5 years is a long time and it's too soon for you be over it. Good luck sweetie

[Lozza1986]

Thank you means a lot to hear some advice 🙂

[Honeycomb8]

Block her on everything-every way possible for her to get in touch. She was heartless enough to break up with you through txt and keeps txting you for an ego boost and to alleviate her guilt. Don't let her. You deserve much more than this crap, and she sure as hell doesn't deserve a single second more of ur time and "friendship."

 

 

Block block block!

[Mikey383]

Block her on everything-every way possible for her to get in touch. She was heartless enough to break up with you through txt and keeps txting you for an ego boost and to alleviate her guilt. Don't let her. You deserve much more than this crap, and she sure as hell doesn't deserve a single second more of ur time and "friendship."

 

 

Block block block!

 

I agree....Same happened to me...Almost the same... I have been NC for over 3 months now...Blocked her on everything....Haven't seen her, or anything else...We were together for 2.5 years....And my EX jumped on to someone right off the bet also...As far as I know, they are still together....But, same deal....Dumped over text....The typical excuses of why she had to walk away... The only thing I know of that she tried to pull off, was that she used a mutual friend to send me pics of her and her new BF.....Well I rejected that, so no success... But, yes I am still recovering, not dating anyone right now...Just doing my thing... She dumped me before and then came back, but only to use me more for her ego boost, comfort, sex and to help herself move on...Prevented me from moving on and it was selfish of her to do that....So be aware of that also...

[Lozza1986]

Yes she was heartless in every single way but truely did think she could keep me in her life at the same time too. Well she was wrong! The texts are definitely for an ego boost every time she’s feeling guilty or down. I am sorry that you had to go through the same thing Mikey383 I feel your pain....really I do. Some nasty people out there. But onwards and upwards and there will be someone out there for the both of us who truely do love us. My ex said she wanted time to herself when she broke it off with me...... that was a big fat lie.