He says he LOVES ME YET.. Porn is in the way. I am ready to LEAVE i CANT THINK

[opinionsneeded]

Abitbroken. is awful just im so devastated never been thru something like this!

Driveway of the house , we have a circle driveway with a lot of trees is like a country house. so No one can see him , the house is a cul de sac very private.

 

I am so tired. have you seen the movie the GONE GIRL. I FEEL like just taking off with out saying a word just leaving Because no matter what I say, no matter what I do. nothing will change

is sad! and let me tell you men that are use to this kind of porno thing they become cold .. it is very sad!

 

Not easy.. but its really my fault for getting involved with him.. Like I wrote before I never had alcohol at the house and never had anyone in my family addicted to alcohol this is all new to me.

 

He choose his life I need to see how I leave. I am just wasting away. I do love him and care a lot but I will not give up my years this way. is sad.

 

And If you read my last postings Monday again he did the same thing while I was sleeping, one magazine was gone and I really told him. is just terrible awful feeling, EMPTINESS I FEEL.. IS SAD.

[opinionsneeded]

I am going to walk now for one hour and get back home to work. I do sales out of home /real estate but I cant focus! I am so down over this issue. I am going to a friends house over the weekend. He gets back i wont be here. Why would I stay here. He cooks, does the yard, takes care of the dog and then at night ! after 8 hours then we are together in bed. otherwise in between there is no kiss, no affection, I cant function like that as a woman. A man has to learn at least him that where there is love you treat a woman nice and with tenderness not just like go to bed make love and then nothing in between. I cant I am getting ill, I rather buy a puppy and be alone! than always expect or always be hungry for his attention. It is a combination, of his dads personality and the alcohol and ofcourse if you read a lot about men that watch porn they become cold , they dont even need sex.. truly! is sad! very sad. that is why he was on his own for years and years. I cant imagine living that way! is a lonely way to live!

 

I am not staying here for the weekend. There is no difference. if he uses porn and doesnt satisfied his needs with me , then why stay here. I feel so broken .

[katrina1980]

OP, I think you need to just leave, the sooner the better. For good.

 

You're not happy, don't feel loved, don't feel like a feminine sexy woman, you are simply not compatible.

 

Nevermind that he masturbates. In the driveway, in the bathroom, with you right next to him, it does not matter.

 

I understand you are hurt and upset, but honestly no need to keep going on and on how HE has issues, loves porn more than you, etc.

 

Maybe he does maybe he doesn't, again none of that matters.

 

What matters is YOU are not happy, YOU don't feel special, loved or desired, so for those reasons and those reasons alone you need to walk away.

 

You have already talked to him and nothing has changed. So it's done.

 

Pack your things and go stay with your friend and eventually get your own place.

 

You say you are attractive, in time you will meet another man you are more compatible with whom you will feel happy, desired and loved.

 

This man is not it, at least not for YOU. Another woman could very well feel differently and not let the masturbation or his "issues" affect her so severely. Let him go find her.

 

HE wants and needs a woman who can accept him (as is) and make him happy too.

 

There are many differing opinions about masturbation, no wrong or right. ONLY what is wrong or right for you.

 

And BTW, yes I saw the movie GONE GIRL, several times! It's one of my favs! Also read the book.

 

Even used "GoneGirl" as my moniker on another forum!

 

Best of luck moving forward, be happy.

[Bss]

My boyfriend masturbates and has admitted it. I have never caught him (we don't live together) and it did bother me at first, just knowing. I talked to him about it a couple times, but its hard to change other people's habits. I came to the conclusion that I would rather him do that than have him find "something else" in order to relieve his sexual tension, so I don't give him too much crap about it. If I had ever caught him masturbating to porn, I would be annoyed. If we ever live together, I hope he does it when I'm at work or away. I completely get the fact that your guy should want you since you are right there and available. I think you two need to discuss boundaries when it comes to his masturbating while your home. I know I certainly wouldn't want to catch my boyfriend with a stupid magazine. If this is ruining your life right now, you have a big decision to make about whether or not your ever going to be ok with this. Its hard to change a person, but compromise is not out of the question since being in a relationship does require the occasional compromise. If he must masturbate, he could at least make sure your not home and available. Or if that doesn't work, I would test it out and catch him off guard, meaning, if you catch him masturbating again, set all feelings aside and jump in and do your sexual thing with him and see what happens. If he brushes you aside when you do that, then its time to reconsider the relationship. That means porn is getting in the way of your sexual needs and the need to feel desired and that is a problem.

[opinionsneeded]

I left three weeks ago I had it! His mom takes control . She Enables him

 

do you guys know how to start a new subject here! in this site.

 

There are so many parents that are narcissists and control sons/and daughters that are adults.

how do I start a new subject. is good to read and learn.

 

Sweetgirl 28 you are funny ! now I just read this. You are right!

I noticed this issue is the porn not the alcohol is sad. sad. sad.

He has been alone for years. His affection is the porn.

Thank you for your time!

[opinionsneeded]

Hello I left! is not that he will find someone else. he wont. A woman is not important to him get it?

is the PORN. .. that IS ALL AND HE WATCHES ALONE IS SICK! IS AN ISSUE. but there is another issue his mother is controlling and she controls everyone and she lives with all her grown up kids. ha ha ha ha!

[opinionsneeded]

I left him and he has not called!.. No one gets it here! PORN IS IT. a woman is not important!

he has been alone 20 + years PORN is his woman and his mother is his woman.

 

He told me his mom always comes first.! that is so sick. truly..

[opinionsneeded]

Hi. I just got in here after a few months! yes. I left! and he has not even cared. why? His mom is controlling he is 55 and a mamas boy.

I am done!. I am so devastated! yes BSS PORN comes first and a woman is not important he has a huge huge huge issue. and I read about narcissist mothers . That probably let him to porn and alcohol. he tells her everything and she controls him and he lets her. too late He does not put his foot down.

 

Sad. sad.

 

Thank you so much for your reply

[opinionsneeded]

abit Broken

 

I just read this I was away from this system for a while. Thank you for your answer!

I moved out and his mother is controlling! I am done! She wants him for herself she is a sick puppy.!

Lately I read about narcissists mothers and I am not a psychologist but it can lead to alcohol and porn. if you have a narcissist mother and she sure is!

now I am putting this puzzle together is so sad.

 

I moved. I miss him because he is not bad, but he is sick and needs therapy , but again he wont change. His mother is a HUGE HUGE ISSUE.