Ulterior motive

[Raymor225]

Someone that I work with has asked me if I would like to present with him at an event later this year. I was quite surprised when he asked as he is a very successful late 50's year old man and I'm only in my 20's still trying to get to grips with the system! I've spoken in meetings but he has never seen me present anything before.

I feel like this could be an amazing opportunity for me as it would get me noticed in the company and could lead to great things. However, I'm a little worried that there could be an ulterior motive behind this, what do you think? I feel terrible saying it but I just don't know why he would want to work with me. I'm intelligent but he could easily do it himself and I'm a little worried as it will mean we will have to be alone together?

I've never got a creepy vibe from him, but he isn't married and I've been told he had a bit of a reputation in his younger years. I guess that could just be a rumour though?

Should I go for it or politely decline?

[nutbrownhare]

Go for it!

 

Work on the assumption that everything's fine and above board unless you have good reason not to... and if anything untoward should happen, I'm guessing your company has policies which deal with this...?

[DancingFool]

Go for it and remember that it's always in your power to keep things strictly professional. You set the tone for all interactions.

[AtitAgain]

I think all men just want to interact with you to get in your pants, because we are all dirty pigs.......

 

Really, if you don't have a bad vibe from the guy, and he hasn't done anything to make you think/feel that way; don't assume that he wants to use work as a tool to get to you... it is offensive to men as a whole.

 

Some managers enjoy giving opportunities to bright young employees as a tool in their career progression, etc. It is rewarding to coach someone and pass on knowledge, etc.

[DancingFool]

I think all men just want to interact with you to get in your pants, because we are all dirty pigs.......

 

Really, if you don't have a bad vibe from the guy, and he hasn't done anything to make you think/feel that way; don't assume that he wants to use work as a tool to get to you... it is offensive to men as a whole.

 

Some managers enjoy giving opportunities to bright young employees as a tool in their career progression, etc. It is rewarding to coach someone and pass on knowledge, etc.

 

I kind of think it's also an odd combination of being very arrogant and very insecure at the same time. Arrogant in the sense that the OP thinks she is such hot stuff that the guy must want her and insecure in that she thinks she isn't a worthwhile professional who would be asked to present on her professional merits and career advancement.

[Jibralta]

I kind of think it's also an odd combination of being very arrogant and very insecure at the same time. Arrogant in the sense that the OP thinks she is such hot stuff that the guy must want her

 

I don't think that's fair. She might have had experiences that put her on edge like this. I grew up getting honked at and heckled and hit on, and I still to this day look at helpful men askance until I get to know them.

[shellyf62]

There are Harvey Weinsteins everywhere in every business, but obviously most are to a lesser extent.

 

I think the OP is being very intuitive asking for advice in this regard. A young female needs to have her wits about her these days

[nutbrownhare]

A young female needs to have her wits about her these days

 

'Twas ever thus. At least it's something which can be openly talked about these days!

 

I recall in the early 1980's I had persistent sexual harassment from my boss, to the point that I'd make sure I was never alone at work with him. I considered leaving very shortly after it started, but realised that if I gave 'sexual harassment' as a reason for leaving it would make it very difficult to get another job. That would not be the case these days.

 

Which is not to say that all guys are like this; in fact the most sympathetic support came from my male colleagues.

[Jibralta]

'Which is not to say that all guys are like this; in fact the most sympathetic support came from my male colleagues.

 

Same! I reported a case of sexual harassment in my twenties. I could deal with getting hit on, but this guy was actually getting mean. After I reported him, men from the warehouse came up to me and were like, "He got what he deserved" and "More women should have done that."

[shellyf62]

I was temping at a company where a guy used to drink vodka in water bottles. Everyone knew he was a jerk, and most stayed away from him.

A new Receptionist started & he was alone with her from 5pm to 6pm. I heard on the grapevine that he was becoming a problem to her.

One day I walked in & sitting on my desk was a condom. This jerk walked up to me, started massaging my shoulders & aksed me if I wanted to share the condom with him.

I instantly went to the Director's Office & this man was sacked on the spot & was escorted fom the premises.

Lots of stories came out about him after that.

[James516]

There could be an ulterior motive, this is the real world. But it doesn't mean you have to be involved in that. You don't specify if you have to travel to the event, but obviously if you do, keep it about the job. Absolutely no alcohol at any point, don't rely on the I-can-handle-a-drink-or-two bravado. No last minute meetings in either of your rooms. If needing to prepare right before, the hotel or event should have some sort of business room area. Same is true when preparing before the event, keep it at the office.

 

I don't think you are "arrogant" or berating men. It is better to be savvy and aware rather than weakly naive. The presentation is an opportunity for your career and add skills to your resume, so definitely take the opportunity to be a part of it.