Anorex Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Hello. I would like to tell my story. I am a 22 year-old male dating an 18 year-old female, though we have probably broken up today. This is our story.... I met her in late June of this year while pointlessly clicking on Tinder. She immediately replied and seemingly had no idea how Tinder worked, which is why she was so friendly and nice on it. I managed to get her number straight away and she deleted her Tinder acc about an hour later, after she started getting first messages with sexual offers. So, we got onto WhatsApp and started talking to each other. It turned out she was just 18 at the time but seemed very mature and intelligent for any age. I was awestruck by this, as I was currently dealing with a tiresome fling with a girl I wasn't really attracted to who was creating constant issues. This experience seemed like switching over from hell to heaven. She was always so nice to me, wished me a good morning every morning, a good night every night. She is from a small town that's about 30 miles from a much bigger city I live in and I have a car so the distance didn't seem that much of an issue. She will be moving to my city around this time next year for reasons unrelated to our relationship. She was also a virgin so I had no intention of trying to get her to have sex with me on our first date or anything like that. I just wanted to enjoy her in real life as much as I did on WhatsApp and hoped it would be the same way in real life. We first met less than a week after encountering each other on Tinder. She arrived by train to my city, as it had been easier for her that way as she has a really controlling mother who doesn't even want to let her out sometimes. It was a bit awkward at first but we went to this huge park and soon had our first kiss and spent the day walking around and kissing on park benches. It was truly amazing. When she finally departed that night I knew it was the beginning of something special. After this first meeeting we would often talk of getting married one day and how many kids we would have, that kind of stuff. It wasn't too serious but I really believed I will marry her one day and that I have found the one in this crazy, degenerate world. However, the next day first problems that will lead to disastrous events later happened before June ended. She had pains in her stomach and didn't know their cause. However, as she was in nursing school she believed it had to do with an inflamed appendix. She ended up in both the local hospital and a hospital in my city (where I was able to give her a quick visit) before we really met for the second time. In any case, her stays were brief as doctors decided not to operate at that time. When we finally met on a second date (around July 20) it in a small place near her town, about 5 miles away or so. It was even more magical. I will never ever forget that day, the way I held her, the way her lips moved under mine, the way we walked around in sweltering heat... During the end of the day I saw her experience stomach pains again and her agonized look. I was devastated I couldn't do anything for her and was even afraid to let her back to her house alone. I offered to take her home despite what her parents might say but she feebly declined so I didn't press the issue. Writing this, I can't believe this was to likely be the last time I will ever see her again. She was due to finally come to my house about 4 days later but described syptoms so painful that I instead told her to call the hospital, which she did. She was hospitalized and had her appendix removed in late July. It seemed that our troubles were finally ending. Or were they? Her recovery was extremely slow. Due to incompetent doctors at that small hospital her would got infected. But there was something else. She would describe symptoms of dizziness, fatigue and anemia. She complained of hardly being able to eat. She passed out at least once during her hospital stay. For reasons related to hospital policy I couldn't visit her at all. It took her over 3 weeks to finally leave the hospital and when she did she described herself as extremely weak and exhausted, being unable to even walk properly. We had initially arranged for us to meet on August 30 but it was an impossible task. She was too feeble to even leave her room let alone the house. Around September 10 she told me she has a secret I must tell nobody. The secret was that she had been purposely starving herself due to psychological reasons (claimed that the whole appendix experience „broke her down“). I was appaled and begged her to tell somebody but was also dumb enough to say I will keep it a secret. I begged her to eat, asked her if it doesn't cause her enourmous pain that her not eating caused us not to see each other and thought that would be enough. It was nowhere near enough. Her symptoms basically remained the same. She was too weak for any meeting on September 13 and missed two weeks of classes by the end of September (school starts in early September for most students here). I was to come and get her around Friday Sep 29 or so, but then I got a flu in the morning and couldn't – there was absolutely no way I was gonna risk infecting her after that. Later that day she passed out during her classes again. There was other bizzare stuff as well – she claimed some guy was threatening to rape her because she didn't want to be his girlfriend, which made her really frightened to return to classes. I checked out the guy's profile and saw he looks like some obese lowlife loser who lives somewhere near her region and just told him to report the guy to her dad (he's a traffic cop) but she told me she doesn't want bother with this in her situation. Things turn a lot darker after last Saturday. I was supposed to come to her town and pick her up in the morning but she had nurse training until around 3PM. I eventually told her to get on a bus (the last one leaves at 6,30 PM) and that I'll be waiting for her. What happened was that she messaged me around 6.25 PM to tell me she just „left the hospital“. I had if she meant the hospital where she had the nurse training or did she pass out again (likely it had been the same hospital but I have no idea what happened). I urged her to try and catch the bus but she couldn't. All she said was a mysterious „There's nobody here“ around 6.34 PM. I asked to pick her up in on Sunday morning, just for a talk, and had no intention of driving her to my place. I was REALLY feaked out by this time. But she ignored my pleadings, just responding at around 11.30 PM „Sorry... Was just sick“. She ignored any of my offers and didn't send any messages for the remainder of the idea. I remember myself waking up on from a disturbing dream about my (still living) father dying which somehow included her and then waking teary eyed about her on that Sunday morning. Come this week. She starts saying two things 1. there is some problem she's having 2. this problem means she can't see me for now, though she really wants to. Addiotionally, she would occasionally say this problem has no solution anyway while in other occasions would beg me to give her a bit more time to let me know the „secret“. She seemed so teenage like by now and her behavior and personality seemed to have declined in maturity considerably since at least mid September. It was certainly no longer the girl I knew back in Jun-Aug. I, also, was quickly becoming a mess. Meanwhile, she was still sending me good morning wishes and occasional kisses on WhatsApp but I would have none of it by now. I was an immensely agitated, scared, frustrated and abandoned guy who feared for his girlfriend and our relationship. I remind you, we haven't seen each other since July 20 ! I would immediately start peppering her with questions about the secret and she finally promised to tell te about it yesterday. Of course, this once again didn't happen. She just ignored the promise until it was obvious that I will not talk about anything else. She told me that I should stop asking her because she doesn't want to tell me yet. While she was sleeping I no longer could. I sent angry, hurt messages. I said I thought it might bea serious case of anorexia and that it is time her parents should know. She would always plead for me not to tell anybody . I openly told about not being able to withstand this situation much longer. And this was certainly true. What had started out as as a perfect relationship was turning into something really ugly. I suggested she might be mentally ill and seek treatment. In the morning, she replied she's not crazy, and that she might had been crazy about me but that „this is gonna change“. She then asked for some more time and I asked for some kind of a deadline. I plainly told her she can keep secrets away from me if me weet and that we can meet later if she tells me the „secret“ now but that she certainly can't do both and expect me to just wait. She couldn't give a deadline, said it's „maybe next week.“. (One also needs to understand the context of this within how we related to each other – it was always about no secrets and we had a saying that „you are mine and I am yours“. Also, back when she told me about the starvation issue in September I made no fuss about it and was extremely supportive.) By then have had it. I blocked her on WhatsApp and told her I believe her mental and physical capacities are in decline due to her anorexia. I sent her various long messages on WhatsApp while keeping her blocked, as I could no longer listen to any of her vague, short posts, which was all she was offering me since early October. I told her I believe she is extremely ill with anorexia and that her parents must know. That I will write them a letter personally, not as her boyfriend but somebody whose identity is irrelevant but is well aware of her situation, which her parents aren't. ( for some conetxt, she is by now 5ffot5/170 cm and about 95 punds/43 kilos. ) Then I feel asleep around noon, tortured by horrible dreams and in state of dazement and shock. When I woke up I was blocked on her Facebook account ( I later found out she deleted it completely), though we never ever used the application other than adding each other. It's been that way ever since. I am keeping her blocked on WhatsApp and don't send any new messages despite wanting to so much. I keep thinking what if I made a mistake, what if she would have told me soon and we could have resolved it. I want to give her an opportunity to tell me, some more time, but I feel this was never really an option for her and that this secret is likely a serious problem connected to anorexia. I know I could have still had a „relationship“ even now if I had just went on went her „good morning, dear“-s and kissed and bunnies but this is not what I want in a relationship. I want my girlfriend back, in real life. I I am a complete mess today, spending it in my pijamas and darkened room. I am in severe emotional pain. I love this girl. She is my life. I have no idea what is causing all of this. Is it her stress? Is it anorexia? Is it some other type of mental disease? Did I just dablle with a kid that wasn't ready for a any relationships? Everybody I talked to told me I have done nothing wrong. Even yesterday this girl was calling me her „sweetheart“ and „life“. The questions here are. What do I do? I am planning on writing an extensive letter to her parents as I am in fear for her life. This letter will keep my identity a secret but will leave a phone number and will have tons of examples of her claiming she is starving herself. I am not doing this to embarass her or affect her life. I am scared as hell. I don't think there is any relationship more to be salvaged, at least until her problems are dealt with and she obviously can't deal with it alone. But her parents are, from what I heard in her stories, of pretty low intelligence. She might tell them „her“ side of the story and paint me in bad light though she has never insulted me before including today. Even now I believe some of you will paint me as some kind of a stalker and an obsessive person. I am not. I have no intention of trying to see her somewhere. I just want her healthy. Even if it means I can't get her back because I certainly can't get her back this way. How do I convince her parents of the reality of the situation? This girl is, I will say it once again, now 5ffot5/170 cm and about 95 punds/43 kilos. Her behavior is erratic. We are basically broken up at this point and this breaks my heart to pieces. I am a mess myself, can't eat or calm down and can hardly write a long letter over the weekend. I simply can't believe how such a heavenly situation turned to this kind of a disaster so soon. I would often laugh at that saying that you wouldn't wish something on your worst enemy because who wouldn't wish the worst things on their worst enemy? Well, I know now what the saying meant. tl -Me and my girlfriend had a wonderful blooming relationship until her inflamed appendix issues and appendenctomy made her develop anorexia with debilitating symptoms, which she didn't admit for over a month. After she admitted this to me and asked me to keep it a secret I agreed and tried to get her to eat. But her symptoms have not gone away and she extremely frail to a point of me not being able to see her since before she had the surgery, which made me extremely anxious too see her and devastated that this isn't happening. Though she's by now back in her classes her weird behavior led to massive fights this week and a likely break-up. I want her to regain her strengh by telling those around her (her parents) what's going on and possibly save our relationship, unless it is already too late. Link to comment
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