some help on jealousy issues

[Rickster]

Hi. Im 16 and I love this girl. The only thing that she hates about me is that I get jealous. First of all I don't know why i feel jealous, I don't want to be jealous because I don't think a relationship should have constraints on the other partner like not letting your partner go where they want or what they are allowed to do. But jealousness(if thats the right spelling or right word) always strikes me. Whenever a boy talks to her or she laughs with another boy I feel sad or angry. I really want to change. I don't want to be this kind of person. But for some reason its so difficult to change. Can anyone give some advice?

[angel200488]

It is normal for you to experience some jelously when she talks/laughs with another guy. I am currently "talking" to a guy, who b/c of his jelously is keeping us from becoming something more. My advice to you is talk to her about it if you haven't. Tell her how it makes you feel so that while you work on controling your jelously issues she can help. Hope all works out well. Good Luck!

[Hope75]

Hi Rickster,

 

First let me say that it's good that you recognize that your jealousy may be out of hand and not nessecary.

 

Why don't you trust your girl? Has she ever given you reason not to? Have you been hurt or cheated on in the past?

 

Talk with your gf more about this, and see if there is something you guys can do together to work on the trust issue. I do think that alot of the effort to overcome these jealous feelings is going to have to come from you.

 

Your gf is going to talk to other men, and be friends with other men, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you and want to be with you. She is making a conscious choice to be with you, not them, and you should have faith in that.

[Rickster]

I have told her about it. But even if it was the tiniest chat I would go jealous. I do trust her on anything she has to say, but I have no idea why I feel this way. This attitude in me is making her not like me, because she likes to talk to people, whether girl or boy, but because she sees me angry or sad and thats why she has to control herself not to talk to other people.

 

Thank you for what you have said. Ill give it a thought

[ash_in_black]

hey rickster. i know exactly how you feel. i am really jealous because my friend flirts with my boyfriend. she always laughs and talks to him. she constantly tries to get near him. sometimes she touches his arm too! like hello hes mine and ur on top of him!! shes supposed to be my friend and shes stealing my bf. and the worst part is i think he likes her too because when i tell him that she flirts he says she doesnt and that shes nica and innocent and that i dont give her a chance. ive known this girl for years, i gave her plenty of chances. and my bf is takin her side and sayin im jealous! im so angry...

[7CardStud]

I'm fighting the same problem man...

 

Let me tell u, its not easy...

 

My last relationship, I kinda snapped... I couldn't take it anymore her being really 'touchy-feely' with ALL of her guy friends... Then I hear she is going to prom with a guy... then I hear later she is going to another prom with her EX-BOYFRIEND!?!?!

 

I snapped and I broke it off... I couldn't keep doing that to myself...

 

I kinda don't want to find out if this new girl im dating is close with any guy friends... I feel like I might ruin our relationship if I ever found out haha . But I'm not controlling in anyway... I would tell her how it makes u feel... If she stops, well then good... If she continues... You might want to reconsider where ur relationship is heading

[VultureFury]

Yea its been the same for me... Im becoming too emotional and jealous. I snaped when my friends dared my ex and another friend (know him since junior high) to go in a closet for 7 mins and make out. This really pushed me and i snaped. We talked after that and she said she broke down on thursday when I got emotional last week. She ended with, "i dont want you in my life anymore" i was like what?? since when was that? anyways i also need help in controling my emotions and moving on. I need help!! I getting sick of being like this. This isn't the person I want to be. Help!

Thanks