My ex is pregnant and she says the baby is mine.

[jimmy88]

yeah here is the deal. my ex dumped me in january of 2005 and is now april 16, the thing is that my life was getting together again after the break up, this is what happened, about 4 days ago she told me that she had something really important to tell me, so she showed up at my house like at 10pm and told me that she was pregnant, I was like, "so then go tell your bf that" and thats when she said that it was mine, obviously i didnt believe her, but she said that the fetus is now 3 months and 3 months ago i was still with her and it was the last time we hooked up, so now i dont know what to do, but what worries me more is that, this girl is a party animal and she needs to stop messing around, i really dont know what to do.

[cleverme123]

You will have to wait til the baby is born then order a DNA test.

[RayKay]

If she is going to have the baby (which she will have to now that she is three months along) you have the right to a paternity test at birth.

 

It sound very suspicious that she is only coming to tell you this NOW, three months + along, and also if she really does sleep around and have a boyfriend, there is no guarantee that if she is indeed pregnant, it is yours. If she really IS pregnant (and you will be able to tell soon enough) then be supportive, but be very wary about letting her take advantage of you until you know it is yours at birth, because as I said....very odd she would wait until NOW to tell you, and if she is sexually active with others since then....who knows for sure.

[avman]

Well I'm sure this was a big shock to you. At this point there isn't much you can do until after the baby is born. Like the others have said, you can then ask for a paternity test which will identify whether or not the baby is yours.

 

You'll want to tell your parents about this. They can help you go through the process which will be upcoming. It won't be easy, but you need some support through this. There are certain rights and responsibilities that come with this and you'll want to make some informed decisions. Hopefully you have a decent enough relationship with your ex to be able to discuss this in a reasonable way.

 

I hope things work out for you.

[jimmy88]

Thank you guys for the advice, but now when should i tell my parents if i find out that the kid is mine?

[avman]

I'd tell them now. Your ex has already fingered you as the father. So you'll have to go through the legal motions to prove or disprove it. I know its not a wonderful experience to have to tell your parents but it will go much worse if suddenly legal papers show up at your house demanding that you pay child support.

 

At least by telling them now your parents will have some time to digest the news and then help you form a strategy for what to do next.

[mairi]

this is really odd.....the exact thing happened 2 my housemate, nd i mean exact..... same dates nd everything.....r u sure thats not u jason? anyways..... u can never be sure its urs.......wait until its born nd demand a dna test......also tell her 2 take it easy.........she shouldnt be gettin pissed or smoking! dont force her 2 do anything she doesnt want 2 tho.....if she keeps it she keeps it, if not then fine she dont!

[jimmy88]

yeah, i was wondering, would a girl lie about something like this, because it really doesnt seem that she could be pregnant, she keeps messing around and when i tried to talk to her she completely ignored me, so i really dont know what the hell is going on with her, i figured that if she wants to talk then she'll come to me, in the mean time i will not go after her, am i acting the wrong way by doing this?

[avman]

Yes, it's possible a girl would lie about this. I've seen it firsthand. I'm afraid it happens more than anybody realizes. The only way to know for sure is to stay on top of it and make sure you have some legal representation. If she won't let you talk to her during the pregnancy, well at least you tried. If the baby is yours you may end up having to fight for visitation rights and such.

[rosierizzle]

It is possible that she is lying. She might be scared about being pregnant and being responsible for a child and wants help and sees the best way of getting it is by finding a father. Help her through this but don't get to close. Ask for a paternity test at birth so you can be sure. Tell your parents. If it is yours it is a very important and exciting thing - you are going to be a father and you will need all the help you can get!

[bella_1976]

I have been in this same situation but i was the girl. When i was 16 i had sex with this guy i was dating. We had only been together for 2 weeks and i become pregnant the first time we had sex. As time went on i didnt find out i was pregnant til i was 2 months along.

 

I told the guy as soon as i found out and he said he wanted to have something to do with the baby but because he was 17 years old he said he couldnt.

 

I had the baby and 5 years ago he came out of the blu and wanted a DNA test as he wanted to know if she was his. (knowing i was only with him). It turned out to be his and i contacted his family to say that they had a granddaughter. The reason why i am sharing this with you as he wasted 5 years of his life and missed out on 5 years which is really important.

 

If i was you i would tell your parents as you are going to need support from them have the DNA test arranged before she has the baby and the day that child is born i would make her take the test if you dont and it turns out to be yours you are going to regreat it for the rest of your life.

 

If the child isnt yours i would make sure through the courts that she has to pay you back for the DNA as the courts can do that. And i would make sure you are going to be in there with her as it is a great experience and be strong as you have the right to be in the delivery room knowing you may be the father but dont sign anything til the DNA test is done.

 

I hope that helps you.

 

 

Bella