What is something you regret not doing in your 20's?

[Batya33]

Well I will take this and hope to ease my desperation in my mid-20's I feel like that is what is expected of us these days: go to school, start your career, get married, and have kids. Then all the sudden you wake up and realize that you can't go travel like you said you would after you settle down. I personally am still at home but am itching to move out, although my living situation at home is excellent it is time to be completely independent. I am thinking about moving to a different country on a work visa for a year, what are your thoughts about that?

 

Travel is not for everyone and that's ok. You can also "travel" by being well-read, by researching/learning about different places, by making friends from different countries/backgrounds. I don't agree about what you wrote about your 20s to the extent you do. Nor do I agree that somehow marriage/family means you can't travel. My high school friend got married at 21 and their son has been on his own for a few years. They've traveled all over the world as a couple and traveled when their son was living with them as well. My inlaws got married in their late 30s and opted to spend $ on travel rather than renovating their house so my husband spent summers as a child traveling in Europe.

 

I didn't marry till I was 42 (and neither did my husband -first marriage for both). We've traveled a lot together pre-marriage/child (which happened at the same time!) and traveled with our young son to Europe once so far and to several states in the U.S.

Living in another country for a year is awesome for some people and I'd also heed what Alain De Boton has said -that you take yourself on vacation (look him up and read some of his books on philosophy and personal growth -you might find his writings very on point) -meaning don't think you escape your own personality/temperament/neuroses if you have any just because you leave home and travel.

[indea08]

I totally agree, we need to get out there and experience all the world has to offer whether it be cultures or geographical sites. Nursing is a great career that is unfortunate that it isn't paying you what you thought. Have you ever considered moving to a different state? Also where have you traveled to I am curious?

 

Thank you for your time!

 

I tried travel nursing all over the US. It was fun and I did make better money, but I also had to maintain 2 households. I've also been to Canada, Mexico, Germany, Belgium, Sierra Leone, and The Gambia.

 

My favorite was The Gambia. It was pretty much a third world country. Sometimes we had electricity, sometimes we didnt. Sometimes we had running water, sometimes we didnt. No cell phone, No email, and no God forsaken Facebook lol. But the people. God, they were amazing. So kind, and giving. They had next to nothing, but still would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. If you weren't getting much business that day, close up shop and go play futbol on the beach. Didn't matter if you didn't make money that day because no one really had money so you just traded things. I wouldve stayed had i not been required to come home (i was studying abroad for a few months). Took me 3 weeks of being home before i turned my cellphone back on.

 

I learned alot. I was humbled more than anything. And I made friends in Africa that I still keep in touch with. Besides becoming a mother and wife, handsdown best experience of my life.

[Gino2718]

Travel is not for everyone and that's ok. You can also "travel" by being well-read, by researching/learning about different places, by making friends from different countries/backgrounds. I don't agree about what you wrote about your 20s to the extent you do. Nor do I agree that somehow marriage/family means you can't travel. My high school friend got married at 21 and their son has been on his own for a few years. They've traveled all over the world as a couple and traveled when their son was living with them as well. My inlaws got married in their late 30s and opted to spend $ on travel rather than renovating their house so my husband spent summers as a child traveling in Europe.

 

I didn't marry till I was 42 (and neither did my husband -first marriage for both). We've traveled a lot together pre-marriage/child (which happened at the same time!) and traveled with our young son to Europe once so far and to several states in the U.S.

Living in another country for a year is awesome for some people and I'd also heed what Alain De Boton has said -that you take yourself on vacation (look him up and read some of his books on philosophy and personal growth -you might find his writings very on point) -meaning don't think you escape your own personality/temperament/neuroses if you have any just because you leave home and travel.

 

 

That is true that travel is not for everyone, but I have been looking into regret a lot recently and it is overwhelmingly the number one regret pre-marriage, career, mortgage, and having kids for Americans.

 

I agree that in most circumstances we can travel the world no matter how old we are, but I have been traveling (trips lasting up to 6 months at a time) for six years now and have changed and grown so much from it for the better... I think. I am glad that these experiences will affect my future decisions in life. Like you stated above that is totally ok and we all should to live and let live.

 

I love what you said about traveling the mind rather than a country and I believe that that form of exploration is super important for us humans whether it be mediation or reading a book.

 

I am not traveling to fix myself or escape anything, but it has helped me to better understand myself and the environment around me.

 

Thank you for your reply I appreciate it and hope you have an amazing day

[Gino2718]

I tried travel nursing all over the US. It was fun and I did make better money, but I also had to maintain 2 households. I've also been to Canada, Mexico, Germany, Belgium, Sierra Leone, and The Gambia.

 

My favorite was The Gambia. It was pretty much a third world country. Sometimes we had electricity, sometimes we didnt. Sometimes we had running water, sometimes we didnt. No cell phone, No email, and no God forsaken Facebook lol. But the people. God, they were amazing. So kind, and giving. They had next to nothing, but still would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. If you weren't getting much business that day, close up shop and go play futbol on the beach. Didn't matter if you didn't make money that day because no one really had money so you just traded things. I wouldve stayed had i not been required to come home (i was studying abroad for a few months). Took me 3 weeks of being home before i turned my cellphone back on.

 

I learned alot. I was humbled more than anything. And I made friends in Africa that I still keep in touch with. Besides becoming a mother and wife, handsdown best experience of my life.

 

I have heard that travel nursing is amazing and pays great! However I can see how it isn't a practical career for you managing two households. Those places all sound amazing, I have never been to Europe or Africa and can't wait to go!

 

That is an amazing story about Gambia and you inspire me to want to go a third world country and immerse myself in the culture. Isn't that crazy that people that have the fewest possessions are most willing to share whatever they have? Here in America (where I live) the rich just want to be richer and don't give much of anything. It is so sad when you think about it.

 

We are so consumed by our social media its a real problem. I do love the ability to connect with people though, but there has to be a balance.

 

Thank you for sharing your story I appreciate it

[IAmFCA]

Learning about relationship dynamics, in a studious fashion as well as a therapeutic one. I dated top in class men at this time, had great "game", but was ill prepared to sustain a lifelong relationship.

 

I wish I had known about ADHD then. Maybe its worthwhile to have a mental health check up with a psychiatrist, same as a regular medical check up.

 

Learned a language.

 

Learned an instrument.

 

I am glad I

- lived on my own

- worked hard, made ends meet, began a career

- lived with friends

- joined a beach house

- followed my instincts

- remained athletic

- bought a home that I could rent to others and/or live in myself at any age. I still have it, and it has worked well.

- invested in activities with my parents.

[Gino2718]

Learning about relationship dynamics, in a studious fashion as well as a therapeutic one. I dated top in class men at this time, had great "game", but was ill prepared to sustain a lifelong relationship.

 

I wish I had known about ADHD then. Maybe its worthwhile to have a mental health check up with a psychiatrist, same as a regular medical check up.

 

Learned a language.

 

Learned an instrument.

 

I am glad I

- lived on my own

- worked hard, made ends meet, began a career

- lived with friends

- joined a beach house

- followed my instincts

- remained athletic

- bought a home that I could rent to others and/or live in myself at any age. I still have it, and it has worked well.

- invested in activities with my parents.

Yeah i feel like that is the case for most 18 year olds. I feel like the problem is that because of this good "game" we think that we got it all going on including the capability of sustaining a life long relationship at such a tender age when we don't even know ourselves, not that we ever completely do.

 

Do you have ADHD for a while and didn't know?

 

What language would you have liked to learn the most? It is never too late

 

Same for the instrument! It is never too late, admittedly it is harder to learn when you are older but nevertheless it is very possible.

 

Although you have a few regrets it seems like you chose some really good paths to follow and that you are living a great life Thank you so much for sharing!

 

Also, what does it mean to join a beach house?

[Lily1210]

Well if i could do something better back then...i would have not agreed to got married despite of getting pregnant...its not good just to marry someone for the sake of the child...in the end you'll still end up separated...

[Silentlyfor]

No real regrets here. Went to college, got laid a lot, found my passion, found myself and made a lot of friends during my 20's. I guess I regret not reading a bit more and travelling at least once.

[bw]

32 here so I am a few years past my twenties. By biggest mistake was allowing myself to voluntarily move back to my small ultra-conservative hometown. I moved away at age 24 and moved back at 27. One of the worst things I ever did. Now I am pretty much stuck.

 

My recommendation is to get out and experience life. Always look forward and not back.

[londonbridge]

I did the best thing that you should do in your twenties and that a lot of normal people don’t actually get to do. The big one being travel!

 

While the majority of my friends and family were getting their lives started the normal way, trying to climb the corporate ladder, taking out big ass car loans, and huge mortgages, paying for expensive weddings and eventually children -all their money became tied up in those things and the majority of them have either never left their hometown, and/or they’ve never traveled outside of the United States. Traveling overseas is either too scary or just a pipe-dream for them.

 

Some of my family and friends complain about me and ask me where I get the money to travel so much, and I roll my eyes. I didn’t take out a 30-40K car loan like they did, I didn’t take out a 150K-200K mortgage, and I didn’t spend 10-15k on a wedding. But they decided those things were important to them and that’s where their money went. And I decided travel was important to me and that’s where I spent my money. I’ve traveled all over Europe, Asia, the States, and a few places in South America, all before I turned 27. Best times of my life. Period. Amazing. Freaking fantastic.

 

Now, onto the regrets part of my twenties.

 

In your twenties, everyone has that story about the “one” that got away. I fell in love big time and not surprisingly it didn’t work out. From this, I regret spending longer than normal to get over the breakup. A break up takes time to get over, but make sure you don’t linger too long over it, it’s unhealthy and keeps you stuck in life!

 

Yes do travel as much as you can! However, make sure you budget and plan it out very carefully. I got into a LOT of wild and crazy situations because my wild child inner spirit led me around and I just was not paying attention or being responsible in some cases. One example, I almost ended up penniless and stuck in Spain because I got to the flight right after the door closed. I wouldn’t have had any money to have gotten another flight if the attendant hadn’t pitied me and allowed me onto the flight. Ugh. So stupid. Quite a few other instances like this occurred while I traveled the world, lol. I really don’t know how I managed to survive in my 20s let alone travel the world, but I did it and had so much fun despite the dumb hiccups.

 

From that example, I would say that I regret that I didn’t put money aside for emergencies and savings.

 

I also regret that I didn’t plan better for my future. In my twenties, I basically lived in the moment and didn’t think much about my future. If you don’t think about your future, you’re definitely less likely to plan well for it.

 

Eventually at some point, whether in your thirties or for some people even their forties, you do eventually get tired of the constant travelling and eventually you’ll end up wanting a place you can call your own. I still travel as much as I can, but it’s SO nice to come back home to my own comfy place.

 

Plan & budget for your travels well, but make sure to SAVE money for your future self(your 35, 39, 42 year old self because you’ll be 35 before you know it! The years actually seems to go by even FASTER after your 20s).

 

Definitely put at least 15% of your paycheck into a 401K or Roth IRA. If you’ve got any debt at all, make sure you have a plan to pay those off ASAP. Don’t wait 10 years.

 

Ultimately, personally for me, my biggest regret about my 20s is definitely the fact that I mishandled my finances so badly. I definitely spent waaay too much money on expensive clothes, expensive cocktails, beer, wines, and expensive restaurants. I would’ve been able to save thousands of dollars a year if I had just stopped myself from overspending on things I didn’t even need. If I had been paying attention to my finances in my twenties, I would’ve been able to squirrel away enough to have had nearly a quarter million in savings already by now, but I really really did a crap job in my twenties with handling money. I do know a few people back in my 20s who were very conscious and careful with their money. Unfortunately as a free spirited person in my 20s, I was definitely not one of those folks.

[Alter Life]

Still 29 and will turn to 30 in some months ahead (dang!).

 

My biggest regret is I don't start my own business years earlier. Just started it this year.

Had a good life already, no debt at all, and already had some good savings and investments, but no established business. But I am grateful for what I have so far, that's not a big deal.

[journeynow]

No regrets, but I could change anything back then I would worry less, and meditated more.

[Alter Life]

No regrets, but I could change anything back then I would worry less, and meditated more.

 

You just reminded me to add it as one of the things I regret..

[Reflections11]

I regret not moving far from my home town. Several times.

 

I spent my early twenties in Europe, excited about travel. and then came back to my home town for what was supposed to be a short time. But i got comfortable with my friends, my location, my job, my family nearby, and didn't want to take the leaps into new cities, new places. A lot of it was due to student loans and money though.

 

Suddenly I was 30 and facing the fact that a huge chunk of time passed while i lived a life that felt mediocre.

 

Fortunately I corrected that in my early 30s and am glad i made the leap. But i still wish I had done it younger.