Friend took advantage of me while I was blackout

[lukeb]

I suggested her first stop should be a rape crisis center, most others suggested the police. I also think it is not true about most rapes happen when the victim has no recollection of it. It might have been worthwhile to get a rape kit done, I think the only thing it would conclusively prove is whether sex happened or not. To find out whether she was raped or not would depend on testimony of other witnesses who remembered what happened and circumstantial evidence. What would you say if the OP's friend believed he was raped by the OP?

 

I was just baffled by how ignorant educated people are about alcoholic blackout, it might be worthwhile to teach this to high school students.

[thealchemist]

I suggested her first stop should be a rape crisis center, most others suggested the police. I also think it is not true about most rapes happen when the victim has no recollection of it. It might have been worthwhile to get a rape kit done, I think the only thing it would conclusively prove is whether sex happened or not. To find out whether she was raped or not would depend on testimony of other witnesses who remembered what happened and circumstantial evidence. What would you say if the OP's friend believed he was raped by the OP?

 

I was just baffled by how ignorant educated people are about alcoholic blackout, it might be worthwhile to teach this to high school students.

 

Well I understand I was ambiguous with what I said was a most common circumstance. I wasn't implying most rapes are related to someone being unconscious but that most happen under questionable circumstances that have some ambiguity around them. Most aren't an obvious "she was 100% undoubtably raped by him".

 

A rape kit looks for other kinds of trauma that are way more conducive with rape as opposed to sex. So a rape kit can actually give more info than a yes or no to sex.

 

Also, the location of where it happened makes a huge difference with such ambiguity. Being that it was in her bedroom and she sent texts before saying the things she stated, even if this guy also claimed "blackout drunk" he would be the one now with the burden of proof.

 

Any guy that received texts like he was sent and then ends up in the girls bedroom is in a really really bad predicament. Once someone states they are too drunk to function(especially with texts because of the ease of recording) you would have to be a moron to sleep with them.

 

I would agree there isn't any 100% sure way to say she was raped by him but taking the precautions of assuming the worst is the smart thing to do.

[Seraphim]

Better yet how about if they teach in high school if someone is drunk leave them alone and don't be sexual with them?

[lukeb]

Better yet how about if they teach in high school if someone is drunk leave them alone and don't be sexual with them?

 

Its good advice but I don't know how realistic it is. It is better to give the people the knowledge instead of preaching what they should do. It is better to make them aware that making decisions implies responsibility.

 

 

The problem with people who are drunk is that they are aware of their surroundings and know what they are doing, and who they are doing it with. If they can carry on a conversation and can understand concepts and know where they are, and who they are talking to, you can't say that they are incapacitated. Incapacitated are really only those few minutes before passing out when you are drowsy and in the process of passing out and being passed out. It is only then you are not responsible for the things that you do because you are not aware of them.

[Seraphim]

So don't tell people because they are not rational beings?

 

I dunno... my son takes that advice on board and would never interfere sexually with a drunk person.

[lukeb]

So don't tell people because they are not rational beings?

 

I dunno... my son takes that advice on board and would never interfere sexually with a drunk person.

 

That's great, but do you think he doesn't do it because you advised him, or do you think he doesn't do it because making decisions and doing things implies responsibility?

 

Unfortunately drugs and alcohol is very often mixed in with social interactions, parties, going to the bar, etc. and you might think that they only thing that goes on there is exchanging their grandma's recipes is a lovely thought.

[yatsue]

The saying "you can never win an argument with an idiot" seems to be true

[Seraphim]

That's great, but do you think he doesn't do it because you advised him, or do you think he doesn't do it because making decisions and doing things implies responsibility?

 

Unfortunately drugs and alcohol is very often mixed in with social interactions, parties, going to the bar, etc. and you might think that they only thing that goes on there is exchanging their grandma's recipes is a lovely thought.

Well ,he doesn't drink ,do drugs or go to parties so I think he's pretty safe . Plus his parents taught him to respect others and respect women and respect himself .

 

My son knows I have been sexually assaulted and knows how much devastation that causes in someone's life . He could never do that to another human being .