Have you ever dumped somebody for not comitting soon enough?

[simon_uk]

Has anybody ever dumped somebody because that person didnt commit to them as soon as they would have liked? I know my ex still loves me but she has no faith in me now. She thinks that if we got back together then things would go back to the way we were, ie us living separate lives. I have tried in vain to tell her otherwise. I called round to see her mum yesterday just to drop a letter off for the ex. Kind of a closure letter really, just so I know that I have done everything I could. I dont expect the letter to suddenly make her change her mind. But from past experiences, has anyone eve dumped somebody because they thought the other person wasn't going to commit but then give it another go? We were together nearly two years and had both been badly hurt in previous relationships.

 

Thank You for Reading

 

Simon

[sonjam]

Simon, I take it you dumped her? I guess communication is the key issue here. After two years if the one person is looking for commitment, and the other is not, it is worth talking about. If you don't see eye to eye, then I guess the relationship could end.

 

I would not dump her just becouse I feel she is not commiting without even talking to her about it. If you talk about it, a long term plan can be put in place, that would suit both.

 

Damage like this could take a while to repair, if ever. Keep trying, don't crowd her, but convince her of your true feelings, and that you acted a bit harshly.

 

I hope you solve this!

[simon_uk]

hi Thanks for the reply, no actually she dumped me! There are a lot of issues involved, we live 30 miles apart and she doesnt drive. She would be moving in with me if anyhting but she doesnt have a job just something she does with her friend where she lives. She has no intention of getting a job to be honest so I dont see how we could afford to live together. I really wanted it but was just being sensible. Now she has left me and I am not sure how to sort it out. She says she loves me but is not IN love with me. But I think the underlying issue is that she has no faith in me ever wanting to be with her. One of the last things she said when we were together was, you have no intention of living with me or putting a ring on my finger. So she obviously wanted that. Even her mum said to me that I am too sensible for her. I am 36, she is 30 next week.

 

Simon

[DN]

How come she's 30 years old and not only doesn't have a proper job but has no intention of getting one? Sounds to me as if she doesn't want a partner, she wants a meal ticket for the rest of her life. Are you sure that's what you want?

[simon_uk]

Hi Dn becasue she earns decent well ion fact good money from a job which I am not too keen about. It is in the adult industry but cash in hand and it doesnt involve sex. I dont want to say too much becasue if she popped along here it would be obvious. Needless to say though, some weeks she can earn a lot of money and other weeks nothing. I dont think that is stable enough!