Hi

[Sprinkles]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 monthes. I am 17 and he is 20. I love him very much but when we fight it can get really bad. He has just left a couple times and not said where he was going. It totally hurt me. I also have a problem with trusting him, he has never cheated on me and says he never will but I worry so much because I have been cheated on in the past. Last week we got in a stupid little argument and I got upset and told him to leave. He left and he was planning on ignoring me but I ended up seeing him the next day. So we hung out and he said he needed space or whatever. But at the time I could not go through that because I had some personal problems going on. So we kept hanging out. Then a couple days later he told me that it wasn't working and that we should break up. The problem is whenever he says we should break up he doesn't truly mean it. He says it hoping things will get better. Like if I were to agree and say lets break up, he would cry and say no. So it's been a few days since this has happened and everything has been great and better. But every morning I wake up I feel sooo depressed. All day I constantly think of him and worry that when I get home he won't call me, or won't be there. All this that has happened recently has totally destroyed me. When I am not around him I worry I won't see him again. But when I'm with him were totally happy. I am soo scared to break up with him. It's become a huge fear. If we broke up I would just die because I would feel so lost. I don't know how to get over this fear of losing him. We both want to be with each other forever, but I constantly think of the day when we will break up and its the last thing I want. What can I do? Any suggestions.

[ORyan]

ok frist of all it seems that u should not go out with this guy he is over 18 and it can turn ugy people can strt talking you know that you guys can not have sex right? Anyway look i would not trust this guy he can turn to become abuseif and can hurt you. Find someone who will treat you like a lady and that will be a gentlemen to you.

 

 

ORyan

[Sprinkles]

I live in BC Canada, legal age of consent is 14. Age really shouldn't matter. we love each other alot.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Sprinkles

 

I have to ask you, are you with him because he makes you happy when you are together? if so, you need to concentrate on the positive, your fear of losing or breaking up with him is based on insecurity, posibly from what has happened to you in the past, but its that fear and insecurity that can ruin your current relationship.

 

If you have no real reason to doubt your current B/F dont smother him or distrust him, trust is very important. and being insecure looks "bad" , makes you look like you have low self worth, and if you believe it, others may also!.

 

You need to act like it doesnt bother you when he goes out, you need to trust him, and stop worrying about whether youll be together forever or not. He will definatly want you more if you have a "couldnt care less" attitude.

 

So concentrate on the good times together, dont smother , distrust, or be controlling, these are major turnoffs for most guys.

[Sprinkles]

I didn't feel this way up until recently. Something else big happened too that had nothing to do with my bf and that totally made me feel like shit too. So I think everythings just tearing me apart right now and I feel I can't talk to anyone else but him becase I just wouldn't feel comfortable. And I just need him to help me what I'm going through right now, and to have him to rely on.

[rachelalyse8]

Hey. I understand what you are saying. My ex boyfriend and I always fought. We'd break up or say that we needed a break...and then the next day we would be back together.

-He did break up with me b/c we fought so much. I thought I was going to die after he broke up with me. I felt so alone and I thought I'd never ever love anyone again. Things are now better and it's only been 3 months. I'm almost completely over it.

-I think the reason why most people would get so upset if they broke up is b/c they spend so much time together that it would just be really weird if you woke up and that person wasn't there to talk to.

-If you really love him and he loves you, then I think you guys should just try and work it out. But if you 2 fight all the time....trust me it's not worth it. If you feel like it should end....then end it now so you can have time to heal. I'd try it again though if you really really love him b/c it's so hard to lose a loved one-Good luck hun!

[bryan]

sprinkles,

 

Its hard to trust anyone after you have been cheated on. Trust me on this one! But then again, you have to remember that not all guys cheat! I could never, ever, ever cheat on someone I loved! I am 21 and have never even looked at another girl when I have been in a relationship. It sounds like your boyfriend is the one who is insecure if you ask me! Him breaking up with you and then crying back at you because he really didnt want to break up sounds like he is testing you. He probably doesnt want to leave you for good like you say, but he probably wants to see if you would come back begging for him. I know, guys are weird like that. But you know, you should tell him that you can only take so much, and that your heart isnt a toy. Tell him that the next time he breaks up with you, he better be serious, because you wont take him back. When you guys go through an argument, try to talk things through so you can prevent him from breaking up with you.

 

It actually sounds like he just wants to feel loved and cared for. Maybe you should try spending more time with him or making him dinner or going out to the movies. You guys definitely need to work on the trust factor in the relationship though. It sounds more like a miscommunication than anything. But definitely put your foot down the next time you see him. Let him know that if he breaks up with you again, thats it, you cant take it anymore. If he really cares he will stop doing that. He just wants the affection that most girls give after a breakup. Most girls come crying back trying to plead a way to work things out. Try to show him your affection in other ways without him having to break up with you! Good luck girl! If you want to talk about anything my email is email removed

 

bryan