Afraid i wont find someone as attractive as my ex again

[Rjw716]

Dumped by an ex about a month and a half ago. She was a very attractive girl. Ive started to get a grip on thins emotionally but i have this deep fear that i will never find someone as attractive as her again. Im only 16 so this fear is probably really stupid because im so young, but i cant help it. Any advice on how to get past/ deal with this fear? Also any advice on how to lessen the physical attraction to the ex?

Thanks

[Rjw716]

Dumped by an ex about a month and a half ago. She was a very attractive girl. Ive started to get a grip on thins emotionally but i have this deep fear that i will never find someone as attractive as her again. Im only 16 so this fear is probably really stupid because im so young, but i cant help it. Any advice on how to get past/ deal with this fear? Also any advice on how to lessen the physical attraction to the ex?

Thanks

 

Also, will putting myself back out there and trying to meet other and new girls help?

[reinventmyself]

Attractive in what way?

[happyfrank]

Dumped by an ex about a month and a half ago. She was a very attractive girl. Ive started to get a grip on thins emotionally but i have this deep fear that i will never find someone as attractive as her again. Im only 16 so this fear is probably really stupid because im so young, but i cant help it. Any advice on how to get past/ deal with this fear? Also any advice on how to lessen the physical attraction to the ex?

Thanks

 

 

Don't be shallow. What does being physical attractive bring to the table? A girl with a great personality and character are more attractive. Trust me. I dated models and they were shallow as it gets.

[thealchemist]

The girl I dated before I dated my wife was extremely attractive. Pretty much the consensus with my guy friends was she was a 9+ on a 10 scale. My wife, who I dated next, was attractive but not at that level.

 

My wife is at least an order of magnitude better than the girl before her. On every level that matters.

 

Don't worry about how attractive of a person they are. That really doesn't matter as long as you find them attractive.

 

Also, people who are very very attractive typically don't develop near as interesting of a personality because they get through life without needing one. Obviously not always true, but I find that people like that are boring and shallow.

[reinventmyself]

Don't be shallow. What does being physical attractive bring to the table? A girl with a great personality and character are more attractive. Trust me. I dated models and they were shallow as it gets.

 

To be fair. . attractiveness has several levels. .not all of them physical.

[thealchemist]

He states physical attraction in his post. I think that we all assumed correctly.

[reinventmyself]

He states physical attraction in his post. I think that we all assumed correctly.

 

my bad you're right

[Schockobaerin]

If it makes you feel better, my ex just dumped me, because he "cant not fall in love with me", the truth being that he still has feelings for his ex gf, who abandoned him.. Now being swallow, Im very pretty, inteligent, nice, lovable and a LOT younger than his ex, and anyway he still clings on her. After being a very lovable pretty doormat, he anyway dumped me. Now my problem is that Im demisexual, so I only feel sexual attraction for the person beneath and need a very strong emotional connection to be with someone, so now my fear is not to find someone as "attractive" as my exbf (im prettier than he is), but to find someone like him, that is difficult, and im still very heartbroken and hopeful.. So dont worry, physical attraction fades very fast, emotional attraction, now that is difficult, if you are thinking about how attractive your ex was, you are not really in love with her, as simple as that, life gives you surprises.. Alas I didnt feel attracted to my ex at the beginning, and look at me now Just be positive that everything is going to be fine

[Rjw716]

I appreciate all the responses, and it wasnt intended to be shallow, obviously i felt more than just physical attraction for this person, i was just wondering specifically about that part of my feelings and when they would pass

[MissCanuck]

Given that you're only 16, I promise you will meet plenty more women in your life. Some will be much more attractive than your ex, and you will also come to learn that physical beauty is not the most important characteristic in a partner anyway.

[Random Person]

You're very young now. It's understandable that in that age, physical attractiveness is the most important thing when dating because you have no serious things in your life. You don't have much things to worry and so.

 

But when you grow older, first, you'll realize that physical attractiveness is not the main element when you want to date someone. Second, you'll meet many women in your life time and some of them will be way attractive than her. And when you get older, there might be a moment you say "She's so beautiful, she wouldn't be interested in me" but a grown up woman doesn't care about how handsome you are but how good person you are. And if they don't think you're good enough, even if you're the most handsome man on earth, some girls gonna reject you.

 

And an advice; don't tire yourself with this kind of thoughts. Just clear your mind from them and read a lot and improve yourself. Have at least one hobby or pick a subject that you enjoy(not pc games or football etc.) and learn everything about them, read about them and after learning that subject, it's gonna lead you to other subjects and it's gonna continue like that. Then you'll feel happier and confident.

[Rustysuit]

I think what OP really means is that this girl is/was very pretty and he couldn't believe his luck and thinks he won't get this lucky again.

 

Anyway, as you said, you're being dumb. You're 16, you'll meet plenty of attractive girls who you'll want nothing to do with.

 

You have your whole life ahead of you at that age and you need to believe me when I say, nothing at 16 lasts. Hell, you'll be hard pressed to find a couple that met in the early 20's and are still going strong after 10 years or so.

 

Face this reality and you can take this weight of your shoulders. You probably won't meet the love of your life untill you're well in your 20's (probably), it could happen sooner, but the odds are against you.

 

Anyway, don't overthink it and enjoy your age. If you got a girl like that once, you can get another one. Just keep focusing on yourself, making yourself an interesting, kind, honest, person and you'll have plenty to choose from.

 

Hope this helps.