When we both have anxiety/depression

[Concreterose]

I just need to spill my entire brain. My boyfriend of 8 months has extremely bad depression spells. We don't live in the same country. Right now he's going through it. He lashes out at me and will tell me he's not sure of the future anymore. He has been talking to me about marriage and having kids since very early on and with a lot of passion. We've known each other since we were kids but grew up separately when I moved to the states. So I believed him and I wanted it to. Thing is, he'll say it, then the next day be totally normal and talk about things in the future like nothing ever happened. He usually will explain the next day (like this time he said he was broke and frustrated with work). He always calls and texts me back. He stays on the phone with me watching movies for hours until he falls asleep. I feel so emotionally exhausted. I don't know what's true or not anymore and I was so sure before. Worst part is, he's still depressed (but it's getting better) and I can't talk to him about it. My anxiety obviously makes this almost unbearable and I can't concentrate on anything, even to watch tv. I just had to vent somewhere. I hope it makes sense. 😔

[reinventmyself]

Have you ever met in person?

[Concreterose]

Have you ever met in person?

Oh yes. We've known each other since we were babies. We got separated when I moved to the states as a kid but we started talking again and fell in love. I visit him every 3-4 months.