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How to open a door for future reconciliation (if possible)


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Hi enotalone members


Me and my ex gf had been in a relationship for 8 months (the last 5 months were LDR). The first 6 months were great, we never had an argument and I treated her exceptionally well and made her laugh very often, we had alot of things in common and were so in love with each other.


But in the last month, we ran out of topic to talk about and got bored, those video calls seemed long and we started to suffocate each other, we argued twice in the last month and they were serious. In the last month she was stressed with her life and work (she didn't have any friends there) and she admitted that she couldn't turn to me when she had emotional needs, in short, we grew distance and were disconnected emotionally.


And in the day before of the breakup, I joked about a thing and she considered it offensive, we argued (there wasn't any insult), we got extremely tired with the relationship and mutually called it off, she said she still loved me at the moment.


After the break up, I felt a sense of relief, no more long and boring video calls, no more aruging (she admitted she felt the same). But after few days, an emotional wave hit me and I missed her so bad, I texted her if we could work things out again and she declined, she said she was no longer in love with me (wow, that was quick).


Needless to say, I was devastated (she knew it), I posted a status on facebook (I didn't mention her, nothing blaming or mean, just a "let it out my chess" so I can feel a little bit better) and some guy did bad mouth (I know, I messed up). She said that I was immature but she didn't hate me and she still respects me alot, she said she needs space (by the tone of her voice, I can say that she was pretty annoyed at the moment). I agreed to give her space and went NC ever since (5 weeks until now).


After the break up, she still stalked my instagram stories but after awhile she deleted my instagram, she said to her friend that she's determined to leave me.


Did I mess it up beyond the point of no return ? What should I do to open a door for future reconciliation (if possible)

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The relationship didn't even hardly leave the gate before it became long distance -- there wasn't enough substance to sustain it. I would leave her be. She is no longer in love with you -- and it wasn't quick, it gradually happen over the course of your relationship


So it's over for real ? even if the distance is not a problem any more ?

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I remember your last post asking if you should send an apology to her or stick to NC , so you are really clutching at straws to get some kind of response from her or be in her life anyway you can . This is not criticism mate , we all go through these desperate , will do anything , feelings .


I texted her if we could work things out again and she declined, she said she was no longer in love with me (wow, that was quick).


here's the thing ^^ when someone tells you they are not in love with you , you have to hold your head up high and walk away . To you it is quick but to her she may have been falling out of love for a while , you said it had become tedious to do the video calls and you both felt a sense of relief ..it is possible that that was the slippery slope to her falling out of love .

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I think you both knew the relationship wasn't working but stuck it out until neither of you could do it any longer.


Falling out of love usually isn't sudden. Those boring and tedious calls, suffocating each other, getting snappy - all the warning signs were there that she was checking out. I agree with a previous poster who said your relationship didn't have enough of a foundation to sustain the distance. You were still in the very early stages when it went long-distance, which is risky.


At the end of the day, she already lost interest after 8 months. That's a sign this just wasn't a match.

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