Are Political Differences a Non Starter?

[IAmFCA]

I think this friendship continues unabated. A bump in the road handled to the extent of each person's capacity, and then the road trip resumes.

 

Translating this into relationship material, if respect can be maintained, I think it is workable... if the two people accept each other's method of engaging and disengaging. That is a skill I was never very good at, while married. That skill hasn't been tested in some time. My friend's means of engaging was quickly personal and would be difficult in relationship --- or not, if the other person were comfortable accepting that as a temporary behavior.

 

I guess it comes down to the usual: learn how to resolve differences in a collaborative manner. Maybe in such a case as this, the couple collaborates around ways to choose to heal, versus ways to collaborate on the issue itself.

[Batya33]

I have been thinking about that exact idea... I find I am wanting to remain engaged. What if we all just went to our corners? I thought my next approach would be to talk about how much I value the ability to disagree, how we have the ability to speak out. It will probably be controversial. The media complex, the us/them rhetoric. I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Vague idea of cultural exchange of sorts. Or.not.

 

I think if you need to bring it up to break the ice that is a great way to do it. Can you do that without rehashing the substantive disagreement -just focus on how maybe it's best not to discuss politics at all?

[journeynow]

You may have heard of James Carville and Mary Matalin. Here is an interview where they discuss "Survival Tips from a Political Odd Couple":

 

 

 

It sounds like they have learned to leave some subjects alone and focus on what connects them.

[Jibralta]

I think this friendship continues unabated. A bump in the road handled to the extent of each person's capacity, and then the road trip resumes.

 

Translating this into relationship material, if respect can be maintained, I think it is workable... if the two people accept each other's method of engaging and disengaging. That is a skill I was never very good at, while married. That skill hasn't been tested in some time. My friend's means of engaging was quickly personal and would be difficult in relationship --- or not, if the other person were comfortable accepting that as a temporary behavior.

 

I guess it comes down to the usual: learn how to resolve differences in a collaborative manner. Maybe in such a case as this, the couple collaborates around ways to choose to heal, versus ways to collaborate on the issue itself.

 

So it sounds like the two of you got over it? That's good.

[IAmFCA]

You may have heard of James Carville and Mary Matalin. Here is an interview where they discuss "Survival Tips from a Political Odd Couple":

 

 

 

It sounds like they have learned to leave some subjects alone and focus on what connects them.

 

In fact I oftwn think of them. Thank you for finding and sharing that link.

[IAmFCA]

So it sounds like the two of you got over it? That's good.

 

Yes. Another example of me learning that relationships survive conflict, demystifying it.