meaningless flirting

[somebunny]

About 2 months ago, a male friend of a friend and I started sporadically chatting via instagram. We are both in relationships. There was some flirting, but meanigless; we never texted, called or met up and when we realized it was starting to get inappropriate we ended communication. This past weekend I had a few drinks and invited a slew of people over to play board games. Him being one. His GF found the message and was pretty torn up. Since then she's blocked me from all social media.

I'd like to reassure her that nothing happened but am tentative to approach her (not even sure how I could). She and my sister are very close and I know I will continue to see her at social events.

Any advice on how to move forward?

[j.man]

What exactly was said with the "meaningless flirting?"

[MissCanuck]

What exactly was said with the "meaningless flirting?"

 

This is my question too. You said it veered into inappropriate, so can you clarify what was being said?

 

Also, if you had ended communication, I don't quite understand why you then invited him over to your place. I think you should prepare yourself for your boyfriend hearing about this too. What's to stop the girlfriend informing your boyfriend about this?

[SherrySher]

You wrecked this, you can't be friends. You crossed a boundary you weren't supposed to, now you've got to let it go.

 

As for the girlfriend, prepare yourself for a fight if you try to approach her and explain anything. There is no way it's going to go down okay.

[somebunny]

Mostly jokes or "I saw this and thought of you" kind of things. Some stuff about what his job entails as he makes custom wood designs.

[somebunny]

The veering was a comment I made about how he looked good as he started working out. I asked what his regime was because I was trying to lose my post baby weight. I apologized afterwards thinking my comment was inappropriate and that's when we felt it we shouldn't chat outside social events (how easily things could be misconstrued into more than it was).

 

I invited him because he likes board games. I invited a lot of people. Female and male. It was not exclusively for him.

 

My boyfriend knows we had been talking - from the very beginning. I had even mentioned our conversations to my boyfriend in the past. I told him about the working out comment and he wasn't upset with it bit said I made a smart choice to not chat anymore.

[somebunny]

I'm not trying to be friends with him... or her even. I just don't want her to think something more happened.

[Quidam]

I'm not trying to be friends with him... or her even. I just don't want her to think something more happened.

 

you know nothing happened, the rest is up to her to figure out. if you go out of your way, creating a thread on a forum ... maybe there is more to it and you need to ease some guilt and what not

[j.man]

That's quite a liberal definition of "flirting." I routinely tell people they look good after working out and putting on some muscle or losing weight-- man or woman. Unless you're just giving us an idea and not including more explicit text, I think what really did you in was the apologizing afterwards and saying your comment was "inappropriate." It was inappropriate because you made it inappropriate. Could easily be interpreted as more or less trying to goad him in to saying "it's OK, I liked it" or something to that effect.

 

In any case, I agree with Quidam. You know what you know and that's kinda that. If others want to make assumptions, it is what it is. The harder you try to state your case, the more guilty you'll look in her eyes. Some things are just out of our hands.

[MissCanuck]

I'm not trying to be friends with him... or her even. I just don't want her to think something more happened.

 

Then why the invitation to hang out at your place? Did you invite the girlfriend too?

 

And what were these comments made in relation to his custom woodworking? I am trying to figure out where exactly the flirting was, becasue so far it doesn't really sound like flirting at all.

 

How often were you communicating?

[somebunny]

Thank you everyone for your input. I don't feel guilty because nothing did happen. I do, however, feel bad for inadvertently hurting someone's feelings. But you're all right - people will think what they want no matter what you say to them!

Thanks again!