CrystalDawn Posted May 22, 2005 Author Share Posted May 22, 2005 The thing is it never ever blows over. I'm trapped. You have no idea how it feels to be stuck and unable to get out or help anyone. I'm useless and worthless. I should just get out of the way. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 i do have an idea. i've felt that way before. actually, i feel that way right now. there's nothing i can do, obviously, to help you. it hurts me so much to see you considering suicide, and i obviously can do nothing about it. please listen to me and trust me. you're a great person who cares so much, and you do your best. things will work out. just don't give up! if you give up, you'll be hurting people much more than you will ever know. if hurting people is your fear in life, then suicide should really be out of the question. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 It won't really hurt them much actully. I've just been in the way. I'm a bother just existing. It would be easier on everyone. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 I know I double posted but big whoop. Anyway my bf is mad at me over me talking to another guy about our problems so I'm not gonna to into them. Anyway I just feel like crap now. I'm wanting to die more than ever and it would be so easy to do it right now. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 hang in there, this WILL pass. you know i'm here for you. you can get through this, you know this will solve nothing. you're better than this, i know it. don't give up! Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted May 28, 2005 Author Share Posted May 28, 2005 I don't know what I should do. I'm just gonna give him cool down time. I think it'll be safe to message him tomorrow if he don't message me first. I'm just worried. He's done this before and it's freaked me out every time. I feel so bad. I can't find a way out either. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 relationships are difficult. i'm sure it'll work out. just talk to him, tell him how you feel. hang in there Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Oh I'm hanging. My serch for a job isn't going to many places. I can't seem to find anywhere other than pizza hut and a retirement/nurseing home. Which I don't think I could handle. I'm a physic or an empath. So working there would cause me to feel to much pain. I can hardly stand being around people anyway. I'm just not cut out for this. A writting job I could handle though so long as I didn't have to stay around a bunch of people. Either emailing or turning in my articals after writing them at home. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 gah double posted here sorry. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 Actully I'm not that great but I'm getting better. I'm getting back into my writting again..... But I still feel like all hell. oi Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 youre a great writer! don't give up on your dream, you can really go somewhere with your talent. writing is also a great way to express yourself and get some emotions out. it makes me feel better. anyway, i'm still here for you and i care a lot about you. take care Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 I know you do evan but not many other people care. I've been hanging in there but just barely I'm expecting the end to come about any time now. though I'm waiting for this month to be over with...one heck of a busy month. I'm bound to hit bottom soon. I keep falling. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 well i will always be here to catch you but i like your thinking...just keep waiting for certain things to be over with. wait until you make any big decisions. you know, don't do anything drastic. keep seeing what can happen, i think you'll be surprised. take care Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Well I'm here again, about to cry. Things are just so crazy. The good news is my grandma's doing alright. My grandpa's not....I've got a bad feeling about all of this. I'm moveing again but it's only accrossed the street into a better house. I never know when my bf's working and when he's not or anything so I'm afraid to message/call him. I'm between waiting and not but I'll end up waiting anyway as I always do. I really should go back to school next year. I may beable to graduate ealy if I go back and take next year then summer school. I need to see how many creidts I need to graduate so i can. I may be a bit late but I'll be able to move on to bigger and better things. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 well I'm still here, I have no idea why. but oh well. I'll work something out. Still thinking alot over and trying to get on the right path. Easier said than done actully. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 Well I pop in and out now, I'm alot better than I was before but still ify on alot of things waiting for a call to see if I can get a job or not and such. The waiting game is annoying. Link to comment
lightn Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hi Crystal: Hey glad to see you are here. I know it is tough and I do hate the waiting game also to see if you have a job. It stinks and I hate it. I have been there and done that before and it is feeling of waiting and waiting. It is like I wish they would hurry up and make a decision right. I am sure you will get it. Just keep us posted. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Will try to but I don't have much faith in getting any job, but I need one. Still playing the waiting game also. Link to comment
lightn Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Crystaldawn: First of all you are young so take your job. It is not the only job that you can apply for. I know how you feel and still feel the same. Nothing for me is getting better and just hanging in there by a threat. Read my post I think it is time for to write a goodbye note. I mean if you are wanting this job only try to find something else. Remember you are young. What job are you trying to apply for? Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Right now I'll take pretty much anything. It's annoying because I'm not getting hired at all. I'm starting to think nothing's worth it anymore. If things don't change I'm done. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 hang in there, things wiill change i promise Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Yeah I hope so, anyway I filled out another application it was on online one. At least I'll be concidered for the third time in a row....well forth if you count my very first application. Anyway I'm waiting for a call again and trying to think of some other places I can go. I'm also going back to school. I just hope it works out this time. Last year I got tired of dealing with it and quit. My principal is an idot and that's being nice actully. Link to comment
lightn Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 You are doing the right thing in applying for other positions. Don;t count on one job. Keep reapplying of the same position. I applied for the same position at one company for 5 times and still nothing happened. I guess they could not see the qualifications I had. Wow calling your principal a name and that is putting it nicely. Sounds like he did you something wrong. Again you are still young and not in the work field. At least you are getting the experience in knowing what is out there. Link to comment
CrystalDawn Posted July 31, 2005 Author Share Posted July 31, 2005 I've been at the same school for two years during those years and before then we had id's but never had to wear them they where just our luch cards now he's started this thing were you have to wear them or it's detention. I hate it because we have to wear it on a lanyard and stuff. I've tried saying that the lanyards are annoying but he won't listen to me. Anyway, I'm out of places to go for a job and just waiting for phone calls. This is getting so annoying. Link to comment
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