Have to get this boy out of my head.

[1a1a]

I'm attracted to this guy, he's attracted to me too but very firmly in don't want a relationship right now territory. (Still healing from the last partner, wants to spend the next two years working and playing music).

 

I'm trying to work out what I want. I'd like to date him, (I'd like him to want that with me). But I'd like that because I'm attracted, I don't know him really. I'd like to be intimate, unresolved sexual tension is definitely a thing. But after that, will it get him out of my head or wedge him in more? (The gamble).

 

In the immediate present though I'd like to get him out of my head. We've tentative plans to catch up next week but I'm quietly noticing the lack of small talk that was happening before. And feeling like if I break the silence I cede my power (not that one should want power over another but I don't want to get into a dynamic where I chase and he runs). I've got a lot of the kind of work where there's long periods of not much to do, how do I get him out of my miiiind?

[DanZee]

Well, the quickest way to get him out of your mind is to find someone else to date. The other way would be to get busy with other things.

 

When a guy tells you he doesn't want a relationship right now, it usually means he's trying to push you away. As you say, you don't know him very well, and he could be warning you away. Sleeping with him could work or could backfire. Be careful.

[1a1a]

Ahh, if only dates were that easy to find!!

 

That I don't want relationship line, could mean 'with you', could mean 'I don't want to get hurt' could mean 'I just don't have time at all' (was my ex's situation.) allow more time and more interaction to happen maybe he'll decide I'm worth letting down the walls for. But then, maybe not. And what am I doing? You're right I definitely need distracting. Just what? How? Is the question.

 

I think I'm still kinda rolling forward thinking it's the time or doesn't want to get hurt one >.> (because the rest of his behaviour seems to be green flags for interest). But then if I'm wrong then thinking that is going to lull me into a false sense of security. I should not think that. Face value is where it's at. But then working out what I want is hard. Argh circular thinking!!

[Keyman]

He's told you where he stands. If you want him out of your head, letting him in the other end is not going to help. Stay away from him and go do something else, anything else that does not relate to him.