Just need some advice.

[robin13]

Okay so basically I'm moving on. Feeling a lot better, don't really care that much about what happened.

 

To cut a long story short, my ex left me in Feb, as I hated her going out and partying and getting drunk. She couldn't respect that it drove me crazy. Among other issues my dad died and I just moved away from home, it was my first year at uni. Anyway. She broke up with me, we ended very badly. I begged and pleaded for months, admitted to her I cheated on her when 2 years ago. We were in a 4 year relationship. She said wanted to marry me, she was heartbroken etc etc. She was so in love with me. Basically in June she came back, it was like old times, we slept together a few I treated her really well, but then she started saying she couldn't get over me cheating on her became more distant and basically stopped all contact to the point now where she says she doesn't want to see me anymore let alone hear my voice. Basically I've never gone no contact for more than week. Do you guys think that she will come back If I stop all contact for like one month and a half and she will forget about the bad things and realise that I did love her and she was pretty bad to me. Honestly, like she treated me like a dog for the past 6 months. She says she hopes to end up with me after Uni.. throws this bait out to keep me there. Do you think if I just went radio silence. She would realise things and maybe come back and give things another shot? I can't stress how much she loved me, I really loved her too. Our relationship was but it was because as I said due to immaturity etc. we were 16 when we first started dating. I'm not begging her or speaking anymore. Giving her space. I dunno, I'm happy to move on if she doesn't contact me. She didn't want this, you know. It took a lot for her to end things. We've been over 5 months.

[SherrySher]

It sounds like a lot of issues on both sides. This was a very tumultuous relationship. I'm not sure that it's something that can be fixed. You've mentioned her drinking and partying , you cheating, her treating you like a dog.

I think you might have to call it a day and start healing from it all. I think your time away from each other should be about moving on now.

I know it's difficult but you've had a lot of problems in this relationship. It might be for the best to let it go.

[nutbrownhare]

Very few people stay for the long term with the person they dated when they were 16; you'll both be growing and changing, and that's desirable.

 

Given that there's a lot of unpleasant history in this relationship which neither of you can really get past, I'd go NC, but not in the hope of getting back together with her. Why do you want to be with someone who treated you so badly? You clearly resent her still!

 

It would be much better for you to get over the huge changes in your life recently - really sorry to hear about your father - decide where you're at, and what you want, and then start again with someone new. After all you've been through, you will not be the same person and there's no way the relationship with your ex will be the innocent one it was originally.

[robin13]

True, I'm happy to let her go. She isn't the girl she used to be. You guys are right. It's just I keep needing reminding I'm making the right decision. I struggled looking at everything with perspective and the more emotionally detected I get I do realise being single and finding myself is the best thing to do at the minute. She is more into sleeping around, drinking and partying still. I mean, to me that's not someone who I want to be with. I have an idea of her in my head who I want her to be and wished she was but she will never be that girl. Thanks for the advice and reminding me of what's best.

[nutbrownhare]

Once you let go of someone who's NOT going to be the person you want as a partner, it leaves you free to find someone who is.

 

Good luck!