He loves me but he isn't ready

[EBPhopeful]

I have been dating a man for a year and a half. It started out fast. Asked me to be exclusive 1 month after our first date. Asked me to move across the country with him I told him I couldn't so he took a job where I lived and asked me to move in. I was hesitant but ended up moving in. 3 months later he moved out originally looking for a place for both of us but decided he wanted his own space. Broke my heart. He told me it was okay he still cared and wanted to be with me. Continued to date I got a job 3 hours away that would advance my carrier I took it after he told me "we will make it work you are worth it". He was upset and used it against me a little bit. Still we continued to date. He once mentioned he will never marry me, months later said he didn't mean never he meant not this year, asked where this was going because he was about to give up something he loved to be with me. We have had woundeful times togeather and helped each other grow in many ways. He mentioned months ago he was planning to move and I started applying to jobs in and around the city where he is going. He told me then he wanted a clean slate or a 6 month break to get his business up and going. We broke up it only lasted 2 weeks (I broke up with him). I was tired of the back and forth. He told me it was hard, he can't bare the thought of me moving on and him losing me forever. We started dating again. Had a wounderful summer with vacations and weddings. Now he is moving out west next month. Told me he can't do it he won't have time for a relationship. All he wants if yo start his business and his dog. He did tell me a while at a wedding I was perfect and the only thing he would change is the timing in which we met. I know he struggles with this. How do I show him support and love and let him know it's okay he needs to go do this with out me? I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be strung alone either.

[glitterfingers]

Honestly I'd just let him go. I don't care how great he is, I have a firm rule that you don't play with my heart like that and get away with it. Anyone who does that willingly (barring circumstances beyond their control such as trauma, death of a loved one or meeting the needs of a dependent) is not someone who deserves my love and commitment.

[SoulTaker]

Why are you living his life? This isn't the way you want to live, else you wouldn't be posting. What you're doing is pure craziness. Go by what people do, and not by what they say. This "he loves me" stuff is nonsense. You need to focus on "first loving yourself", which means getting rid of this man, and starting over again (dating).

 

BTW - How can you say you're growing, when dealing with a "liar"? Don't let him play "mind games" on you. You need to be stronger than that.

[fabact]

It seems you are chasing him. You should stop and I agree he is playing with your heart

[ThatwasThen]

I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be strung alone either.

If you love it then set it free, if it comes back to you, it was meant to be. That doesn't mean you wait around for its to return but get on with your life and meeting others and if he comes back and you're single then you can reconsider things only then. Don't wait around pining for him. Don't let him string you along then you won't be strung along.