help!! what do i do?

[sofia siap]

Hello everyone !! So I really need help.. 2 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend it's was mutual I guess but I know I'm wrong .. almost everyrhing was my fault but I could not tell at the time we were together, he gave me chances to change because I wasn't showing him my love and I was acting immature and irresponsible. He texted me yesterday and we met and we told that we really miss each other and I told him to consider getting back together and he said that I had to show him that I've changed and he's not ready now... I don't know what to do though.. How do I show him that I've changed if we are apart? Should I keep texting him? Telling him that I love him and I want him back ? And the truth is that I really have changed.. I understood what I did.. I would do everything for him. He also texted me again last night in Facebook because it was late and he asked me why I'm not sleeping... Help... I really need him.. What do I do??? He gave me a hiny though he told me where he hangs the afternoons and he winked.. How do I take advantage of that ?

[Andrina]

You didn't care enough to work on things while together. You're probably just scared of being without a bf but you're mind is tricking you into thinking you love him. You're just getting used to life without someone and you're missing what once was, but realize you chose to leave without pulling out all of the stops to make it work. You're just not that into him. It's okay to be single for a while. Have fun with girlfriends. If you don't have a good career, you can work on steps towards that to keep your mind occupied.

 

You can't have closure by keeping in contact with him. He seems to be playing with you, now that he has the power and you don't. Tell him you two should go no contact and you can revisit how each of you have grown and matured after a year--or not. Like I said. I don't think you're that into him and you will probably do yourself a favor by trying with someone new after getting to a good place solo. On again, off again relationships rarely work.

[WombatShadow]

Sweetheart, you haven't changed over the past two weeks. Change, real change, does not happen so quickly.

 

Take some time away from your ex to continue working on yourself. You don't have to go incommunicado with him, but do NOT continue throwing yourself at him. Showering him in romantic affection at this point is going to do nothing but turn him away, especially since he's told you that he's not ready. Do you really want to try and force a relationship? Those don't tend to work out in any way, shape, or form. If you feel like sharing a funny with him or letting him know some interesting news, do so. But don't reach out unless you're able to be casual and cool about things even if you don't get the response you're hoping for.

 

If you do that, you'll begin to heal. When that happens, either you'll be able to move on or your ex might sniff around. Again, once you're healed sufficiently you can re-engage with him, maybe invite him out for drinks or something low-key. Don't call it a date, don't treat it like a date, and don't bring up any relationship crap. It's just two old friends meeting up.

 

Good luck!